Tag Archives: michael haack

VOTE 4 _US

UBC Votes is kicking off Monday, and you have until Fridaaayy Fridayyyy to vote. You also get to vote for who you want to get some moniez for how they covered the elections. Here is why you should vote for us:

The MS-Paint-splattered brainchild of local twittebrity @taylorloren and angry coffee wench @queigh, @AMSConfidential shook up the AMS elections and captured the hearts & minds of hacks. Often-imitated but never surpassed, from day one we’ve brought the sparkle rainbow jams—hard-hitting, n00b-friendly coverage of news, made extra-sexy—and we just keep getting better.  As we prepare to take on UBC VOTES-TRAVAGANZA, we pledge to uphold our devastatingly high standards, delivering only the freshest dope and the dopest shit to your RSS feed. Also, we have unicorns.

Now, onto some srs bsns after the jump.

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The First Annual Flamingos

Awards season appears to be over with the climax of The Oscars…or is it? Full disclosure, I was too busy watching the Justin Bieber movie instead of the Academy Awards, so I don’t really know what kind of competition we’re up against here. Anyway, here’s AMS Confidential’s take on the last years entertainment in council chambers. We give you…The Flamingos.

[image redacted to protect people doing better things with their lives now]

Brittany Perna was elected as the International Students Rep, and at her first meeting the AMS decided to axe the position altogether for next year’s elections. BritBrit still could have retained her seat for the whole year, lobbying for the international kids and all, but chose to skip all the council meetings instead.

Elin Tayyar never failed to make us swoon with his hipster style every meeting. Just look at this photo, it’s like pixel sex. And seriously, who else do you know who can rock PLAID pants?

Bijan Ahmadian doesn’t win a flamingo, but hey, this is us being nice to him. We could have said a lot of other things, but we just really don’t like this shirt. Or his fur lined jackets. Or his cuffed jeans, etc.

Amanda Li is fierce. Not only is she super hot, she’s also an engineer. Besides having to put up with guys all the time and a severe lack of ladies, she is also President of the EUS and can probably outdrink every other non-engineer guy on council. Who wouldn’t tap that?

Michael Haack wasn’t elected as VP Admin, but unlike every other person who doesn’t get elected, he decided to run in the AUS Elections for AMS Rep. Since then, Michael has gotten involved in a lot of committees and has grown from being somewhat knollie to being a good leader-of-the-opposition type of guy. We were really sad he didn’t run for VP Admin again, and it’s been fun watching him evolve into a cute little butterfly over the last year.

Ben Cappellacci came on the scene as a relative no one to anyone not in Sauder. At first we thought he was your typical frat guy, but over the year we’ve found out that he is so much more than that. Ladies, he is also single. Ben worked really hard this year on a whole bunch of things – like implementing Credit/D/Fail but most notably for lobbying on the Land Use Plan. He stepped in to fill Bijan’s shoes by leading the referendum committee and was overall stellar at pretty much everything he did, especially for having no earlier hack experience. We already miss him, and his ridiculous tweets on Wednesday nights.

Oh, Ryan Trasolini. Pretty sure that he is at the point now where he just wants to forget that he was ever involved in AMS politics. However, let’s reminiscence: after his election resulted in a tie, with the tie breaker being cast for the other candidate, he appealed. After the appeal didn’t go the way he wanted, he went to student court, where they tried to throw out the entire election. Then Brian Platt stepped down in order for the AUS Executive to vote to appoint an interim President, and Ryan brought some of his frat friends to proxy and vote for him so he could win. After that, he got to be AUS President, woopdeedoo, where they got their account frozen for operating without a budget. But back to the AMS – Ryan was the chair of the Student Life Committee which was supposed to be dealing with the Block Party fiasco and making a plan for it to be fiscally sustainable. Turns out that he didn’t do any of this, leaving Crystal Hon to pick up the pieces in just a few weeks. We advise Ryan to just stick to spinning sick beats in the future.

Have some other suggestions for The Flamingos? Leave in the comments or email to amsconfidential [at] gmail.com

Don’t forget to vote for us in VoterMedia, right here!

Your Complete Guide to The AMS

new to ubc? here’s what you missed…

PREVIOUSLY on AMS CONFIDENTIAL:

The AMS stands for your Alma Mater Society. The name doesn’t make sense, but it was formed to be your student society; you pay them fees and in return they keep the university from doing whatever it wants. Plus, parties and stuff!

anyway.

MIKE used to be Alma Mater Society President and he poledanced a lot

there’s like a million of these on facebook.

but then he turned things over to BLAKE

guido guido guido (photo c/o gerald deo)

go o~on….

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aus throwdown/showdown

Gossip Guy here. Happy to see me? I know you are. I can practically see the smile on your face from wherever I’m currently sitting/stumbling.

Well, fellow Artsies… we have a lot of tough choices this year. We’ll have to pick Yes or No in four different races, one involving a Star Wars character (WIN). Three guys going for President, and two ladies and purple lightsaber-wielding Sammy J for VPX. Then a bunch of General Officers and AMS reps. But c’mon… let’s focus on what’s really important here (Not that they aren’t all important. Just some things take priority, k?). So yes… EL PRESIDENTE. How are we going to decide who to support this year? We’ll leave it to…

the crudely rendered semi-androgynous pink and black gambling addicted elections mascot

I now realize I spent all my bloody time making that stupid graphic, and didn’t write anything of substance. Make sure you read the contest at the end of the post, and actually enter, so I don’t end up crying alone tonight because I wasted so much time. [Kai sez: welcome to the Confidential Editorial board, GG. You’ll get used to it.]

We’ll do some in-depth analyses in the coming days – and be assured, we WILL penetrate into the inner recesses, unlike the EUS elections, which we know nothing about. Full candidate list and some useless links after the jump y’all. AND THE CONTEST.

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Sparkle Happy Endorsements 2010

Is it that time of the year already?? Oh, how the initial campaign period has flown. They’ve impressed us on the fields! They’ve impressed us in the debates! They’ve left numerous messages in our inbox! But now it’s time to separate the cream from the chaff and give you our top picks (not entire Condorcet rankings, we’re not total wonks) for this year’s round of AMS Elections. Get ready, after the jump, for this year’s


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Yet More Debates: Snoozefest

Day Four of debates took a huge turn away from yesterday’s barely-disguised sexual tension to… a total snoozefest.  Seriously.  Most disappointing was that Blake Frederick (running for BoG) and Michael Haack (VP Admin) didn’t even attend. Apparently Blake was having health problems (or was just plain tired, or both) and Michael was visiting family.  Too tragic, as our BF’s presence could have completed a Sean-proxy/Guillaume/Blake argyle trifecta.  All the debates suffered from a lack of competitors and audience interest, and the whole thing was over in an hour.

The only even vaguely amusing part of this whole thing was when Guillaume said that if the university tried to push past something unpopular with students, he’d be up in arms! and simultaneously raised his arms. Really.  That was it.  And I put in a corresponding amount of effort:

Photo opportunities with the life-sized cardboard cutout of Sean were also available, so now Crystal Hon has embarrassing pictures of us OH SHEEEEIIIIIIIITTTTT

Later today: better material.

A Life Size Dreamboat!

Well, today was a little more exciting. Hottie Ekat squared off against Michael in a rather dull debate of generic answers (apparently- this editor was running a little late). Do Me Now Duncan asked the candidates to show some personality, in which Ekat stood up and tried her hardest to garner enthusiasm from the crowd, whereas Michael just tried to re-emphasize his previous points. These candidates are quite different; Michael is studying political science/philosophy, put the words “Let’s Rock This Shit” on his posters, and was wearing plaid. Ekat is a Commerce student who wants to “Build a Better AMS” and was channelling her inner Blair Waldorf with a fabulous peacock headband. Hopefully tomorrow’s debates will allow us to tell the candidates apart a bit better and deem one a dreamboat.

Then came the Board of Governors debate. Guillaume was rocking a crisp suit, Azim was channelling his inner frat boy and Bijan with a pullover, Blake was wearing his classic camouflage (khaki green and khaki), and Sean Heisler was looking radiant in real life. Yes, Sean Heisler couldn’t be at the debate (he’s debating in Winnipeg) so he sent a LIFE SIZE CUT OUT OF HIMSELF along with a proxy. If that’s not sexy, we’re not sure what is. These editors are sswwwooonnning with love, especially after saying that “Defying Gravity” is his campaign theme song (Wicked! Glee! Love!!). Such a dreamboat.

The Board of Governor’s debate was definitely the most interesting, though this editor was still a little bored. Here are some interesting quotes, and we definitely recommend coming out to see the continuation: VP Admin, VP Finance, & Board of Governors Debate in the Norm Theatre, 12-130pm.

The notion that the relationship between the AMS and the University is somehow damaged is absolutely ridiculous.
-Blake Frederick

I violate my values on a daily basis. (crowd erupts in awkward laughter)
-Blake Frederick

I would like to see sprouts growing.
-Rodrigo Ferrari-Nunes on what he would like to see at UBC if he had a magic wand as VP Academic

We’d love to see some more personality from the candidates, so please, stop playing it safe.

Also! We received our first fan mail today! A former dreamboat and current candidate made us a UNICORN HORN. That’s adjustable. We’re currently accepting other kinds of love (ahem, endorsements hey?).

Our campaign guide: First Batch of Surveys

Sunday evening, we sent out surveys to every candidate we could think of, and as of today we’ve received ten back. The love is… palpable? Based on this barely acceptable sample size, here are your aggregated commonalities for AMS electoral candidates:

Our editorial staff has no math majors.

Favorite Board Game: Settlers of Catan
Favorite Monty Python Member: John Cleese
Consensus on skinnydipping, naked high dive: Have done, would do again
Leno or Conan: They’re all with Coco
Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie: Angelina
UN Complaints: none yet
Flow chart results: Johannes/Mike Duncan even split

Funniest: Sean
Shortest: Joël
Nicest: Ekat
Most Apologetic: Alyssa (who was, we understand, sick)
Most Into It: Brittany

After the jump, selected highlights from all the surveys we’ve received so far.  Candidates are grouped according to their position.

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Red Hot News Media

Slow news weekend? Nonsense. Here at AMS Confidential, we’ve uncovered a bushel bask of RED HOT TIPS for your perusal.  We’re totally like Gillian Anderson as Agent Scully: hot stuff, hot on the case.  Except, you know, there’s two of us.  And we’re pretty sure K is Agent Mulder.

It’s important to note before we reveal this information that we’re aware some of it is pretty hush-hush.  We thought long and hard before letting this out into the open, well aware that we were running a risk in revealing this to the public too soon.  Some of you may not be able to handle the level of scandal we’re about to reveal—for those with weak hearts, we advise taking it in small doses, perhaps by covering part of your monitor with a piece of paper and slowly sliding it down to reveal wee, bite-sized pieces of dirty linen.

IT JUST WON'T DIE (Gerald Deo photo)

Tim Chu’s commitment to his mandate is impeccable: he’s got, like, two whole referenda!  Referenda he’d kind of pledged to do anyway!  He wants the AMS to “actively lobby” for less tuition and more government funding—because currently, they think it’s totally okay for those things to happen! or something like that wherein tuition fees rise as the value of the dollar drops, so you’re not actually paying any more real dollars! but the number is bigger! it’s important!  Also, disabilities.

Mike Duncan is Natalie Swift’s advisor!  Sasa Pudar (UBC Spectator) is running Jeremy McElroy’s campaign!  Running a campaign does not constitute a conflict of interest!  (We think.)

While we’re at it, the following people are rumoured to have potentially conflicting relationships:

  • Bijan Ahmadian & Ben Cappellacci
  • Jeremy McElroy & the Entire Goddamn Ubyssey
  • Me & Your Mom
  • Johannes Rebane & Stas Pavlov

He also loves babies, waxing.

Joke candidates past and present, take note, we are calling you out: Jeremy McElroy is Kommander Keg!  Geoff Costeloe is the Comrade!  And—OMG—hottie Student At Large Nick Fitzgerald is the Invisible Man.  Or, at least, his translator.

Blake Frederick & Bijan = NOT BFFs

The Entire Ubyssey Board of Directors = in the same frat.  Except for Blake.

And, in case you didn’t know—Johannes Rebane is really, really mean. Really, really, reallllllly mean.

caption contest in the comments, yo

Got any more breaking news for us?  Leave it in the comments!  I’m gonna go drink.

…or, rather:  I’m gonna go drink!!1!!1!

(Editor’s Note: Issues That Matter is concerned about our journalistic integrity. Of which we obviously have shit tonnes of. We don’t kiss and tell, but we do like to drink beer after council meetings. In case you wanted to know, as we know you are so concerned with our unbias)

Aaaand they’re off.

Day one after the announcement of candidates, and rumor has it

(and by ‘rumor’ I mean verifiable evidence plus the natural supposition that of course elections officials are in Panic Epic Work Mode at the moment)

that Chief Elections Officer & CEO of Our Hearts Isabel Ferreras has spent her morning off and on the phone to her staff.  Certainly we’ve already seen three—three!—BoG candidates drop out.  Goodbye, Peter Stein, AJ Hajir Hajian, and Nader Beyzaei—we hardly knew ye.

We’ve got the complete list for you after the break, but first, let’s take a little walk down quelle scandale potentiale lane, y’all.

The buzz at beer last night and brunch this morning was triplefold—quadruple if you count the cheap Gallery pitchers—but it boils down to this:

  1. Blake Frederick.  It’s been too easy lately to forget that our BF came into office as something of a golden boy, hailed by supporters and detractors alike both for his passionate commitment and political credentials.

    Happier times.  (Photo: Gerald Deo)

    And despite—or perhaps because of—the shitshow that’s marked his end of term, Frederick hasn’t given up the political life.  He’s thrown his hat into, in fact, three races—not only the usual Senate/BoG pairing, but also the Ubyssey’s Board of Directors.  This last is interesting considering that Frederick & our beloved campus publication are not what you’d call the best of friends.  There have been scathing editorials all round and a rather sudden crackdown on AMS communications policy getting in the way of good relations.  With all that history, one wonders what the Ubyssey Board could look like at this time next year—assuming, of course, that Frederick doesn’t disqualify himself by winning another race.

  2. The positions of interest. Although it’s not unusual to see BoG, Senate, and VP External attract a few more competitors than other positions, this year’s International Student Rep hopefuls are almost frighteningly numerous.  You guys know this position is non-voting, right?  (And Star, you know you submitted all materials without a last name, right? you do know? and it’s a thing? oh. cool.)  It’s also heartening to see two relative unknowns rounding out the Presidential nominees, although it makes hunting for pictures a heckuva lot harder.  Don’t even ask me about typing the tags up for this post.  RIDICULOUS.

    YOU SEE HOW I SUFFER FOR YOU

  3. The Elections Committee’s (presumed) accountability screed. One of the new features this year will be a PENALTY BOX on the Elections official website.  Isabel Ferreras is a formidable woman, as seen here:

    cower, puny candidates!! leg-biting will be penalized!

    and we have no doubt that she won’t hesitate to use this box, which purpose is to daily—publicly!—keep the voting public very aware of any and all “warnings, violations, infractions and penalties.” It’s a move we here at Fuzzy Kitten Unicorn Scandal are looking forward to a little too much, frankly.

BUT WHO ELSE is out there? here are the people we’ll be stalking bothering in the name of Fair Game Media Coverage for the next month:

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