Tag Archives: geoff costeloe

Here’s 1600 words Justin wrote about Senate.

Most days, we wake up to an inbox full of love and the occasional piece of knock-off Viagra spam [Ed note: On the other hand, our dick-sucking has lacked a certain zest lately]. But a few days ago, we received this magical screed. It’s written by esteemed former Ubyssey editor and Actual Real-Live Journalist Justin McElroy, who’s won a lot of awards—and a lot of hearts—for being superlatively great. He suggested we add some sparkly gifs (actual quote: “The Hunger Games are big with the youths these days, right?”), but we thought it was great as is. Laziness played no part in this decision.

If four years of covering UBC on a daily basis taught me anything, it’s that talking about student politician elections should be done with a heavy grain of skepticism. Every year, the same crop of eager young ones come forward with vague slogans, impossible goals and more guts than brains.

Not only that, but once upon a time AMS Elections were about (cue West Wing inspirational music) big issues. Big issues, with candidates on all sides of the political spectrum arguing for what they believe in. Who got elected really mattered, and while giant clusterfucks might happen, they were about tuition or student activism or something else which galvanized students to care.

The past two years, student political culture has turned soft, mushy, and predictable, with people afraid of trying anything or criticizing anyone. I don’t know if that has made things better or worse…but it’s certainly made things less exciting.

However, you have to choose the Leaders of Tomorrow—and I’m here to help. That, and take advantage of the fact that no longer running The Ubyssey means I can dispense with an insincere veneer of optimism, and rant like the curmudgeon I am.

But I’m here to mostly help! Plus, The Editor of this blog puts up with me drinking, yelling, and laughing with her roommate in the middle of the night, interrupting her sleep, so there’s that. [Ed note: Our walls are made of paper and spackled with my sleep-deprived tears. More after the jump.]

Continue reading

Not So Sexy Senators

Well, the debate came and went. It was incredibly boring, with the highlight being a member of Issues That Matter attempting to take self photography. We’re trying to make this post more exciting by adding SPARKLY GLITTER. Questions from the audience were definitely the sexiest, with Issues That Matter, “Do Me Now” Duncan, Comrade Costeloe, and Chairman Naylor challenging the Senators.
Only 7 of the 12 candidates showed up. Notably missing was His Excellency Blake Frederick, along with Aminollahi, Miriam, Blair, and Alyssa (who participated via Liveblog). No senators wowed us with any personality and seemed to deviate from questions with generic answers or passing the buck to the BoG. Also, most didn’t know how often the Senate met, when the next meeting was, or what was on the agenda.
Along with debate fail, there was also fashion fails.If you insist on wearing the pinstripe button down, please make sure it fits you properly and is ironed. AJ looked suave with his square cut glasses and facial hair- definitely hacktastic. Honourable mention to Nader for rocking a scarf and v-neck for that “I’m super sexy” swoon. Johannes, we’re requesting you glam it up with a magenta tie to match your posters next time.
Surprise, surprise, Johannes won the poll with 50% of the votes for Sexiest Potential Senator. Thanks for voting, and please come out to the debates tomorrow…AMS President, VP External, and VP Finance Debate 12-1:30pm in the Norm Theatre.
We love votes as much as we love you. So send us some sexy love votes.

Red Hot News Media

Slow news weekend? Nonsense. Here at AMS Confidential, we’ve uncovered a bushel bask of RED HOT TIPS for your perusal.  We’re totally like Gillian Anderson as Agent Scully: hot stuff, hot on the case.  Except, you know, there’s two of us.  And we’re pretty sure K is Agent Mulder.

It’s important to note before we reveal this information that we’re aware some of it is pretty hush-hush.  We thought long and hard before letting this out into the open, well aware that we were running a risk in revealing this to the public too soon.  Some of you may not be able to handle the level of scandal we’re about to reveal—for those with weak hearts, we advise taking it in small doses, perhaps by covering part of your monitor with a piece of paper and slowly sliding it down to reveal wee, bite-sized pieces of dirty linen.

IT JUST WON'T DIE (Gerald Deo photo)

Tim Chu’s commitment to his mandate is impeccable: he’s got, like, two whole referenda!  Referenda he’d kind of pledged to do anyway!  He wants the AMS to “actively lobby” for less tuition and more government funding—because currently, they think it’s totally okay for those things to happen! or something like that wherein tuition fees rise as the value of the dollar drops, so you’re not actually paying any more real dollars! but the number is bigger! it’s important!  Also, disabilities.

Mike Duncan is Natalie Swift’s advisor!  Sasa Pudar (UBC Spectator) is running Jeremy McElroy’s campaign!  Running a campaign does not constitute a conflict of interest!  (We think.)

While we’re at it, the following people are rumoured to have potentially conflicting relationships:

  • Bijan Ahmadian & Ben Cappellacci
  • Jeremy McElroy & the Entire Goddamn Ubyssey
  • Me & Your Mom
  • Johannes Rebane & Stas Pavlov

He also loves babies, waxing.

Joke candidates past and present, take note, we are calling you out: Jeremy McElroy is Kommander Keg!  Geoff Costeloe is the Comrade!  And—OMG—hottie Student At Large Nick Fitzgerald is the Invisible Man.  Or, at least, his translator.

Blake Frederick & Bijan = NOT BFFs

The Entire Ubyssey Board of Directors = in the same frat.  Except for Blake.

And, in case you didn’t know—Johannes Rebane is really, really mean. Really, really, reallllllly mean.

caption contest in the comments, yo

Got any more breaking news for us?  Leave it in the comments!  I’m gonna go drink.

…or, rather:  I’m gonna go drink!!1!!1!

(Editor’s Note: Issues That Matter is concerned about our journalistic integrity. Of which we obviously have shit tonnes of. We don’t kiss and tell, but we do like to drink beer after council meetings. In case you wanted to know, as we know you are so concerned with our unbias)

Who is YOUR Prince Charming?

If you’re sitting in AMS Council and getting a little bored, a little horny noticing all the beautiful faces around you and slipping into lalaland, have no fear! We are here to help you solve the burning desires of your heart and your loins.

So, who is YOUR Prince Charming? Click this flow chart to find out who you are meant to be with <3 <3 <3

Timkachu– If you like to take charge and love all things left or orange and need a sidekick in life, he is the man for you. Maybe you can take advantage of all his sweet awesome lobbying skills and do it in a Translink bus?

Blake– The next maverick and saviour of all things oppressed, he’s a real take charge kind of guy. Beware, he may have a sexy fling with an expensive lawyer lover on the side.

Geoff- The next conservative minority Great Prime Minister needs a lady by his side who can be quiet, dress well, and say something intelligent when asked. If you are going to UBC and getting a BA and never really plan on using it, Geoff is your guy. Be prepared for a life in the spotlight and lots of petting. Kittens, that is.

Tom- Pretty much the perfect combination of class mixed with nerdiness, this finance lover will keep you secure, satisfied, and leading a generally happy life. What isn’t to love about those baby blues? If you are a woman who is going to law school and intends on having an awesome career, Tom will be the perfect trophy husband.

Jeremy- This DJ will keep you and your beats rocking until the early dawn. Rumoured to be the best kisser on Council, his boisterous personality is the perfect match to your popularity and overall Carrie sex appeal. Who knows, he might even turn out to be your Mr. Big 😉

Johannes- The most beautiful of them all, Johannes is the brainy yet dreamy man for you, the epitome of a Prince Charming. Plus, his electric violin musicality will have you wanting more more more. For all you Charlotte-types out there, Johannes is the pretty-boy fantasy for your white picket fences. We recommend spooning. In fact, we always recommend spooning.

Mike Duncan- So fabulous he has two names, this photo says it all. Let out the sexual animal in you by going cowgirl…wait, is that a fist I see? If you are so badass that you don’t need a man for money/security/happiness and just want some love and lovemaking, Mike is your Prince. Plus, according to his Facebook, he wants to be a stay-at-home dad.

Like your result? Leave it for us in the comments & let everyone know who your dream AMS lovah is.

Rehashing Old News

To combat the brain drain that occurs over winter break, here’s a quick recap of what’s affecting elections this term: namely, the United Nations Tuition Debacle.

The United Nations visited the Knoll

I’m sorry,  let me repeat that: the UN DEBACLE!!!!

Quick summary: is tuition a human rights issue worthy of the UN?  Blake & Tim and their legal counsel think so, and they’re willing to secretly spend $$$ on it.  Oh, it was all just a media stunt? The campus is safe from  Too late—we’re still on Failblog.  (The Ubyssey has a whole UN category if you’re a total keener.)

—so anyway, the wake of the biggest thing to happen to AMS politics since Slategate ’09 saw student leadership divided into two factions: Blake & Tim supporters, who believe Council are a bunch of groupthinking overreactors and that involving students in the tuition discussion is worth breaking a few rules, VERSUS Blake & Tim detractors (i.e. most of Council), who are generally displeased with the maverick turn Blim have taken.  Also, they’re not too happy about said broken rules, especially the ones where they demand to be consulted about large expenses. Not to mention Blim had a secret rendezvous with an expensive lawyer and didn’t invite Council along.

In an emergency meeting in which Blim did not appear (those NDP conventions throw serious parties), AMS Council unanimously passed a motion to retract the complaint to the UN against the BC and Canadian governments in regard to Article 13(c) of the International Covenant on Economic, Social and Cultural Rights. Basically, they showed them who’s boss.

I’m suddenly confused at this methodology that everything has to go through committee.
-President Blake

Thus, when we last left our esteemed student leaders, everybody was all het up.  In lieu of legal advice which said that removal from office was not an option*, Team Blim had been censured (note existence of previous attempts to do so) and, in addition:

  • asked to keep exhaustive records of their activities (aka hourly reports)—Blake, that bastion of transparency, puts his on Twitter.
  • effectively stripped of their decision-making abilities

And, of course, Geoff Costeloe, outspoken Blim detractor & vanity URL holder, had become one of the most polarizing men on campus (see also: Matt Naylor), judging by pure undiluted blogosphere commentary.

So what’s to be expected from this round of elections?  Without knowing who’ll run, we can predict platforms in the following non-exclusive categories:

  1. People who claim to represent some form of “new politics,” or “fresh thinking,” be that more or less radical
  2. People who are 100% committed to lowering tuition (but…)
  3. People who aren’t here to discuss Blake & Tim, goddamnit
  4. People who are not, in fact people. See: Kommander Keg

Either way, it’s going to be an exciting month plus, folks.

* Unless, of course, there was a referendum.