Sunday evening, we sent out surveys to every candidate we could think of, and as of today we’ve received ten back. The love is… palpable? Based on this barely acceptable sample size, here are your aggregated commonalities for AMS electoral candidates:

Our editorial staff has no math majors.

Favorite Board Game: Settlers of Catan
Favorite Monty Python Member: John Cleese
Consensus on skinnydipping, naked high dive: Have done, would do again
Leno or Conan: They’re all with Coco
Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie: Angelina
UN Complaints: none yet
Flow chart results: Johannes/Mike Duncan even split

Funniest: Sean
Shortest: Joël
Nicest: Ekat
Most Apologetic: Alyssa (who was, we understand, sick)
Most Into It: Brittany

After the jump, selected highlights from all the surveys we’ve received so far.  Candidates are grouped according to their position.

President

– no responses so far –

VP Admin

Name: Ekat Dovjenko; wishes her middle name were Margaret
Nickname: Ekat, Kat or Kitty
Political Idol: Lenin…who else?
Favorite Board Game: Risk, because it has to do with world domination.
Tweet-length platform: Build a Better AMS by creating personalized club support, a sustainable new SUB and improved communication #AMS #amsUNfail #awesomepossum
Best Thing She Said: The biggest thing is to make sure the clubs and SAC are not forgotten due to intense SUB Renew negotiations.
Actual Best Thing She Said: [Q: If you were an animal, what animal would you be, and why?] I would be a cat (obviously) owned by a super rich old lady. That way, I can relax and sleep all day, without a care in the world.

Name: Michael Bryce Haack
Nickname: “The Dreamboat” (Editor’s note: ohhhh yeahhhhhh?)
Part of Self He’d Like to Change: A smaller penis. That way I can walk without having to slouch. Seriously.
Leno or Conan: Colbert! I am America and So Can You!
Best thing he said: [Q: My tweet-length platform is:] Engage students. Recognize student leaders. Keep the SUB phases accountable 2 students & a SUB we can all be proud of. Let’s build change!
Actual best thing he said: [Q: Are you single, taken, or other?]  Other.  I am partnered, not taken.

VP Academic

Name: Ben(jamin) Gabriel Cappellacci
Nickname: Cappellacci
Dating: Elisa Kharrazi
(Editor’s note: Holy fearless full disclosure, Batman!)
Pet Peeve: People who misuse much and many
Best Body Feature: My stubble, even though it’s annoying to shave I love it.
Best Thing He Said: [My key issue is] the UBC governance agreement.  [If I won, I would address this by…] I would be sitting on several key organizing bodies and by working with them I could put through changes without being confrontational.
Actual Best Thing He Said: [Q: What is your favourite position?] Reverse Academic Cowgirl

VP External

Name: Jeremy Phillip McElroy
Nickname: JMac
Wants to be: As nerdy as it sounds, I want to be a provincial policy advisor or lobbyist. Maybe a Clerk of the House one day.
Favorite Python: John Cleese.
Best Thing He Said: [Q: My most important issue is…] working with other student unions to present a unified student voice to the provincial government.  [Q: I would accomplish this by…] meeting with executives from other schools and working to create a coalition of sorts for BC universities and colleges.
Actual Best Thing He Said: [Q: The best relationship advice I ever got was…] get out while you still have legs.

Senate

Name: Ryan Cecil Bredin
Nickname: Alberta
Idols: Arnold Schwarzenegger (political), Spock (actual)
Job This Year: Labourer and Herbicide Applicator  for the oilfield in Alberta
Basis of Possible UN Complaint: I will be pro-active and work with the University and Senate, instead of being an ineffective egomaniac and issuing aggressive ‘press releases’ and UN complaints.  I’ll go straight to NATO, because that’s where the guns are.
Best Thing He Said: Enough with the hacks.  I intend to use my skills pragmatism and knowledge of the university to represent the students.
Which do you like best, rainbows or unicorns?  Unicorns.  You can ride them like horses.

Name: Joël [unanswered] Mertens
Nickname: [unanswered]
Best body feature: …is my brain, because I use it.
Favorite Board Game: I enjoy German-style board games (such as Settlers of Catan and Power Grid)
Biggest Issue & how to address it: Student engagement; leverage the Culture of Service document and encourage the university to diversify their student awards to include scholarships based on community engagement
If lost, how to address it: Ask student senators to take this on.  Continue working on this through my other involvements.

Name: Alyssa Jayne Koehn
Nickname: AJ.  Occasionally Apple Juice.
Morally Opposed To: Capri pants, “incompetent umbrella wielding shorties”
Imaginary Husband: John Mayer, who is “a little busy touring Europe at the moment.”
Preferred Middle Name: Something more exciting.  Like “Francois” or “Moon Unit.”
Best Thing She Said: [Q: 140 characters or less: what’s your Big Issue?] Accessibility of students to the Senate. Ie. Making the decisions available to students without having to read through pages of minutes.
Actual Best Thing She Said: [Q: Leno or Conan?] This cannot be a serious question. I’m with Coco.

BoG

Name: Guillaume Houle
Nickname: William
Best Body Feature: my trapezoids and thighs, which, because of the sports I have done in the past, are two muscle groups that I feel are overdeveloped for a person of my size.
Puts On to Feel Sexy: my Hugo Boss suit
Best Thing He Said: [The one issue that most deserves my focus is] The role of students in the future of the University’s current governance structure
Actual Best Thing He Said: [Q: What is your biggest fear?] I don’t really have one.

Name: [unknown] Sean Heisler
Nickname: Seanator: “It’s like Senator, but Seanator.”
Grows Up to Become: Looking to either get into project management or become a unicorn.  I’m sort of holding out for the latter one.
Political Idol: Fritz Bowers (late Vancouver City Manager, engineering professor and my grandpops)
Best Body Feature: My ass. I don’t know, I’m not the one who stares at it. Ask the people who do! (I have names if you want :P)
(Editor’s note: We want.)
Best Thing He Said:  Student consultation: it is important and it isn’t given enough weight in the university’s current structure. It needs to become measurable and meaningful.
Rainbows or Unicorns?: Rainbows are only a figment of our eyes whereas unicorns are real. Seriously, there is a patent. (http://www.colitz.com/site/4429685/4429685.htm)

International

Name: Brittany Michelle Perna
Nickname: B-ritt
Biggest Fear: I don’t know.
Pet Peeve: Dishes are NOT to be left out EVER! Clean kitchens are happy kitchens.
Best Thing She Said: I hope to make international students feel like they really have an equal voice in how UBC is run. I want to make communications between
students and representatives more open and less intimidating. Also,
focus on international scholarships and visa issues.
Actual Best Thing She Said: [In response to: if you lost, how would you address your most important issue?] I’d just complain to the person who won my seat.