Tag Archives: admiral ackbar

“Talent” Kevin wants to see at UBC’s Got Talent

The countdown is on! Just over two months until UBC’s Got Talent, where we’re going to see some amazing performers take the Chan Centre stage. Excited? I know I sure am!

Bullshit. C’mon. Admit it. You know this event is going to be super cheesy. Seeing our President BFF’s sing a duet will no doubt be enthralling; however, we need to spice it up a little. Let’s add in some crazy stuff. Snake charming… contorsionists… whatever. Let’s show what UBC really has to offer.The ladies over at 11eleven have a bit more analysis on the event, if you don’t want to simply hear about all the crazy stuff I want to see that you’d probably only think up near the end of Gallery Tuesday while tuning out the guys singing Backstreet Boys. Again.

On board? Great. Here’s what I want to see happen:

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Cappellacci wears ugly old man blazer, lures Ackbar into trap.

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AMS VP Academic, Ben Cappellacci, has pulled off what some are calling the greatest trap in UBC’s illustrious history. He has somehow lured Admiral Ackbar, the preeminent source of all trap locations on campus, into a trap. The trap of Associate Vice President Academic.

We here at the Confidential were really excited when the Admiral was elected. We’re going to be extremely sad as he is forced to resign from council. We might even shed a pink tear from our collective sparkle eyes.

Guess there’s another Arts AMS rep spot open… #GG4Artsrep

This isn’t some April Fools joke.

This isn’t a trap.

Update:

To Whom It May Concern:

I am resigning my seat as an Arts AMS Rep, effective immediately. I have found that my Council chair does not swivel to the standards I became accustomed to in 1983, and the distinct lack of spaceships under the AMS’ command makes it difficult for me to be effective.

Because I am taking the position of AVP Academic, I have no choice but to resign: the AMS can’t repel conflicts of interest of that magnitude.

I look forward to working with everyone in my new capacity, and would like to say that I do admire the amount of time and effort you all put in to bettering the UBC experience, especially since most of you do so as volunteers.

Yours sincerely,

Admiral Ackbar / Sean Cregten

he'll safewalk you home too.

And you thought the last meme post was forced.

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Elections season is over, which, these days, means it’s time for recount/contest season! Rather than recount the Trasolini/Platt saga at great length, we’ll recap shortly, and then present the only result we care about: ACKBAR ACKBAR ACKBAR

So.

Trasolini loses by one vote, cast by AUS EA Matt Naylor to break a tie.
Trasolini writes open letter, claiming that ballots were miscounted (he has proof!!) & he should have won by two votes.
Wahmbulance called.
Recount reveals that Platt is still winner.
??????

Anyway, here’s a thought to cheer you up, Artsies. Sure, we’re starting the new elective year on a wonky note. But there’s so much for us to anticipate! Yes, you, Foresighted Arts Voters, had the courage—the understanding—the bravery to elect Seannie C., a.k.a. ADMIRAL ACKBAR. We here at the Confidential (okay, I here at the Confidential) are Huge Fucking Star Wars nerds, and we’re super-excited for the opportunity to spend an entire year doing variations on the trap meme.

When we haven’t had our caffeine:

tip your goddamn barista, kids, we're fucking starving

When we’re feeling just too old to keep up with you political whippersnappers:

tis not a woman true, but a half creature, neither fish nor foul

When shit’s about to get funky:

in west Coral City, born and raised / on the Calamarian Council is where I spent most of my days

WE’RE SO EXCITED!!! WE’RE SO EXCITED!! WE’RE SO SCARED

aus throwdown/showdown

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Gossip Guy here. Happy to see me? I know you are. I can practically see the smile on your face from wherever I’m currently sitting/stumbling.

Well, fellow Artsies… we have a lot of tough choices this year. We’ll have to pick Yes or No in four different races, one involving a Star Wars character (WIN). Three guys going for President, and two ladies and purple lightsaber-wielding Sammy J for VPX. Then a bunch of General Officers and AMS reps. But c’mon… let’s focus on what’s really important here (Not that they aren’t all important. Just some things take priority, k?). So yes… EL PRESIDENTE. How are we going to decide who to support this year? We’ll leave it to…

the crudely rendered semi-androgynous pink and black gambling addicted elections mascot

I now realize I spent all my bloody time making that stupid graphic, and didn’t write anything of substance. Make sure you read the contest at the end of the post, and actually enter, so I don’t end up crying alone tonight because I wasted so much time. [Kai sez: welcome to the Confidential Editorial board, GG. You’ll get used to it.]

We’ll do some in-depth analyses in the coming days – and be assured, we WILL penetrate into the inner recesses, unlike the EUS elections, which we know nothing about. Full candidate list and some useless links after the jump y’all. AND THE CONTEST.