Tag Archives: jj maclean

UBC Votes Gets More Hilarious as Candidates Get More Desperate

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Here’s your mid-week update on all the entertaining pieces of this extremely, extremely boring election. Seriously, candidates hooking up with each other last election (with photographic evidence to boot!) was so much more entertaining.

Last post, we lamented the fact that there are no black people in student politics. Apparently we were wrong. Enter Harsev Oshan, a student from Kenya running to be VP Student Life for the AUS. His campaign is eerily similar to Mike Moll’s as he takes pictures of his “I AM AUSOME” sign, instead of “I CAME TO LEAD.”

no doctoring necessary.

Reinforcing absolutely no stereotypes whatsoever, he released this video under the username “harsizzle” about why you should vote for him. Lyrics include “king of the jungle” (because he’s from Kenya, get it?) and something about how he will inject flava to the AUS. Props to these girls, because it probably took them forever to write this.

Speaking of videos, the AUS Presidential Debate video is now online, along with the two AMS rep videos we couldn’t stay awake through. In his final statement, Justin Yang offers up the metaphor of marriage:

When you have a wedding, you have something old and something new, something borrowed and something blue. I represent that. I’m something old, I’ve been here for four years. But I’m something new, the AUS is new to me. I’ve only been here for a year and that’s not enough. I’m something borrowed, because I was a part of SUS before I became part of the AUS. And I’m something blue, because I was part of SUS. But that’s behind me.

This is my promise to commit to the AUS. The AUS to me is not the other woman, this is my proposal. I’m coming in, and I’d really like to make the AUS my first love.

Arash replied with “I’ve been married to Arts since first year,” so we’re not sure how Sumedha is feeling right about now…

Meanwhile, in Poster Heaven, our own resident RobotBoy has possibly the cutest poster ever! Anyone that has “Our Tallest Senator Yet!” with a paragraph about his signature prep style just wins our hearts over again and again. Click to enlarge!

VOTE 4 _US

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UBC Votes is kicking off Monday, and you have until Fridaaayy Fridayyyy to vote. You also get to vote for who you want to get some moniez for how they covered the elections. Here is why you should vote for us:

The MS-Paint-splattered brainchild of local twittebrity @taylorloren and angry coffee wench @queigh, @AMSConfidential shook up the AMS elections and captured the hearts & minds of hacks. Often-imitated but never surpassed, from day one we’ve brought the sparkle rainbow jams—hard-hitting, n00b-friendly coverage of news, made extra-sexy—and we just keep getting better.  As we prepare to take on UBC VOTES-TRAVAGANZA, we pledge to uphold our devastatingly high standards, delivering only the freshest dope and the dopest shit to your RSS feed. Also, we have unicorns.

Now, onto some srs bsns after the jump.

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The 2011 Sparkle Surveys: Part 1

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For all other blogs, today’s endorsement day. For us, it’s make up your own damn mind day, otherwise known as our rad video endorsements ran out of batteries. we’re workin’ on it. In the meantime, sweet readers, set the lights to low and imagine we’re whispering in your ear.

‘Cause baby, let’s not deny this thing between us: You’re Kurt Hummel, and I’m that Blaine hottie from the super-tolerant boys’ school, and it’s cold outside. Join me for a heartwarming duet, and let’s snuggle up to these fiery candidates as we bring back, smoother than late-night jazz, the first of our Classic Confidential Surveys.

Filipino/Irish. CATHOLIC DREAMBOAAAAAAAT

Highlights from this edition: MOTHERFUCKING SEAN HEISLER brings it (again), Justin Yang tells us how he really feel about Issues That Matter, Arash Ehteshami really wants your love, and two (2) candidates open up about their Gossip Girl-themed nicknames. Plus, a kitty! Who says we never bring the real news?

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Bye Bye International Seat…

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Oh, International Seat…so last month’s Disabilities Seat. If you want some point vs point action that sort of hurts your brain, check out the epic battle of Timkachu vs. Chairman Naylor on Issues That Matter here.

At Council on Wednesday, the Legislative Procedures Committee (Leprecomm LPC) headed by our very Chairman Naylor brought the issue of abolishing the International Students seat (which is non-voting) to Council’s oval table. They argued that the ISA seat was not in the best interest of the group it represents, and that the structure of the AMS is not amenable to such a seat. Basically, in the AMS we have representation by population, so having a seat tailored to the interests of international students allows for double representation, which is an LPC no-no.

Representation by population is something that is important to preserve as it is allowing each member a representative on council through a direct channel and empowers people to get elected through those channels. –Chairman Naylor

Saayy whaaaat? Federalism?

Basically:

  • As a student, you belong to a faculty. Be this Arts, Engineering, Science, or Human Kinetics to name a few (oh hai, they happen to be having their own elections and Arts/HK nomination forms are due Tuesday. http://ubcvotes.ca for more info! *shameless democracy plug*).
  • Within your faculty, you have an undergraduate society which holds elections to elect your own sexy executive and other positions, including AMS reps.
  • The AMS has reps based on how many students are in that faculty. Proportional representation, anyone? If you’re in Arts, you get 5 reps. Science, 4. & on and on and on…so that every student has the same amount of representation on Council, and the same chance of getting elected to Council.

The whole point in this is that someone represents you based on your faculty and that everyone is equal, and it is NOT based on whether you’re an international student, a student with disabilities, a gay student, a commuter student, etc.

Tahara encompassed the above in a moving speech, except she threw in an “anglo-saxon seat” example which got these editors daydreaming…

JJ is running for SUS Director of Finance...but we'd kind of like this instead.

Anyway, a lot of sexy debate resumed. And we mean a LOT. Let us also note that Brittany Perna was just recently elected to the seat, and this was her first real council meeting…such a nice welcome! Here are some of this editor’s favourite bitch slap quotes.

Tim: There’s been no consultation with International Students.
El Naylorino: Tim, it’s quite clear you don’t care about consultation. #OHSNAP

Naz, Former Int’l Rep: If I am gay, I am gay everywhere. If I go back to Iran, I am not an international student.

There were also some nice quotes:

The only divides we should see at this table are the arbitrary ones between faculties. –New VPX Jeremy

We should work holistically with I-House. – Iggy (up for re-election!)

So then it came time to vote, and it was breathtakingly close. 2/3 was needed, and it got EXACTLY 2/3. Perhaps the lesson learned from this debate is that if you want to push your controversial cause through council, seeking political advice—and impassioned speech-making—from Timkachu is a guaranteed way to make it fail.

Remember kids, as Chairman Naylor bravely expressed, High School Musical style, we’re all in this together. Love each other, and love those international/domestic kids…they’re a big source of sex appeal/revenue for the university <3

Disclaimer of sorts? Kai is an international student, and Taylor is a domestic student. EQUALLY FUNDED VOTER FUNDED MEDIA WHAT WHAT.

Our campaign guide: more surveys!

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As the surveys continue to trickle in, we continue to be oh-so amused by your responses, sometimes to the point of actually laughing out loud.  Aaron Palm in particular charmed us with his ready wit and willingness to bitch about his dead-end job, so we’ve reproduced a little more of his survey than was strictly kosher.  Whatever, dudes, we’re America! We take up as much space as we want, y’all!

The first part of our survey bonanza can be found here.  New surveys, including two presidential candidates and a man with four names, after the jump.

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