Tag Archives: twilight

A Procrastination Post! Your April News for N00bs

Confidential is back, Koerner’s isn’t, and surprise, surprise the AUS is a shit show once again.

Brian vs Ryan vs Student “Court” vs Naylor vs OMG Enough Already

So the AUS is a goddamn nightmare. It all started with this document that makes no fucking sense and hurts our cute little headband decorated brains. As a fellow sexy blogger once said, “most of it is irrelevant shit amounting to intellectual masturbation.”

So, n00bs: Naylor was the AUS Elections Administrator and isn’t a fan of Student “Court” as referenced by “the rising scourge of kritarchy.” Student “Court” dislikes Naylor because…we’re not quite sure. Let the battles commence.

In the AUS Presidential election, Brian beat Ryan by one vote. Ryan filed an appeal to the SC over a single ballot that he thinks was ambiguous and should therefore be spoiled, meaning it wasn’t a tie, meaning Naylor’s tiebreaking vote wouldn’t count, and meaning that Ryan would be EL PRESIDENTE.

However, SC went all power thirsty like the Volturi and began to “investigate” the situation. They ramble about the background of the election, how paper ballots got fucked up, how the results apparently caught on fire, and concluded that in the end there was STILL A GODDAMN TIE (seriously, we’re not making this up).

However, what is really alarming (think black iris thirsty alarming) is how they then deem the election VOID AND OF NO EFFECT. SC was simply asked by Ryan to “rule” on the validity of a certain ballot. Instead, SC found that the way the AUS elections were run was in violation of AMS code because they lacked appeals procedures (yes, we actually looked up the code). They also made this ruling without looking at the AUS 2010 General Election Regulations which includes the appeals procedures.

Whatever, its now all a moot point because Brian resigned in a professional letter to AUS Council in which he signs it “peace out, dawgs.” Be still, our gangsta meme hearts.

More sparkles and #procrastireading after the jump!

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Our Hearts Splutter Hyperactively

As anyone who was within a 30-foot radius of our collective ear-splitting shriek this morning knows,

WE HIT THREE PER CENT TODAY

in the Continuous VFM.  (Vote here!)  THREE WHOLE PER CENT.  It is like a gift from heaven, except it is from you all.

With tears in our eyes and booze on our breath (yeah, Mariah got nothing on us), we’d like to thank the Academy, our agent, our publicist, and all the wonderful candidates who have worked so hard to be so very, very sparkle-able.

Speaking of which, we have a Very Special Three Per Cent Thank You for all of you, our lovely viewers.  We’re proud to present our very first BREAKING NEWS EXCLUSIVE:

Interesting… and brilliant… and mysterious… and perfect… and beautiful… and possibly able to lift full-sized vans with one hand.

About three things we are absolutely positive. First, Edward is a vampire. Second, there’s part of him — and we don’t know how potent that part might be — that thirsts for our blood. And third, we are unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.

Thanks for voting, charming viewers.