Name: Zephyr (@zephypaws)
Age: 10 months
Breed: Dollface Persian
Human: Stephanie Oldford, Senate and Curriculum Services, Vancouver campus
I had the opportunity to sit down with Zephyr and ask her some important questions about the day-to-day life of a cat.
Anthony: We all know that the life of a cat isn’t easy. There are a lot of internal and external pressures that affect what and how you live your life. However, in all that anyone can do they have to pick out what about them separates them from the rest of the world. So I have to ask, according to yourself, what is your best quality?
Zephyr: My majestic tail. Not only is it floofy AND fluffy. It’s good to know that in this cat-eat-eat world it always has my back.
Anthony: That is good to hear. On the other paw what is your worst quality? What do you feel is keeping you back in the modern age of ambitious and hard working cats?
Zephyr: I can’t really meow. Instead I go “eew, eew, eeeew”. Also, I am afraid of my own poop. I can’t get far enough away from that stuff.
Anthony: That’s umm.. uhh… interesting. Let’s change the subject. In a world of nigh-infinite possibilities what path do you want to travel down? What is your dream job?
Zephyr: Spelunking. My ancestors lived in caves. This is why I enjoy hiding under things and exploring anything that resembles a tunnel.
Anthony: Ah! It seems like you really identify with your cave-cat ancestors. If only we could all connect with our histories and explore mysterious untouched worlds! Maybe you’ll even find some ancient “artif-cats” (note: artifacts. I’m hilarious.) However, I can imagine that a lot of people would be afraid to be trapped underground. What is the scariest thing that you can imagine?
Zephyr: Well, I am a very cautious cat. Danger lurks behind every door and peers around every corner. Each litterbox holds terrifying secrets. There is nothing more troubling than the image of multiple children in my house running up and down the stairs. The noise. The terror. The boundless energy.
Anthony: Let’s move into something a little brighter. You come off as a very confident and accomplished young feline, what would you say is your greatest accomplishment?
Zephyr: My brother Chinook passed away soon after I came along, but he was an adventure cat and I want to follow in his footsteps. So far I have gone camping and soon I will learn to go on hikes.
Anthony: I often notice my interviewees are quite fashionable. I have never met a community so fur-positive. What outfit are you wearing right now?
Zephyr: As a cat who adores the natural world, and being natural myself. I have never worn an outfit. Although sometimes I put on a harness to train for my hikes.
Anthony: Your interest in hiking is quite rare in a cat! How about your free time? What do you do when you’re home alone?
Zephyr: I play with pieces of freeze dried chicken and look for caves and things that look like caves. Or I sit in my cat shelf and stare pensively out the window.
Anthony: That sounds nice and relaxing. What’s the best trick that you’ve played on your human?
Zephyr: One time I was sneaky and I pooped on the male human when he was sleeping on the couch.
Anthony: I see. There seems to be a reoccurring theme here… If you could only eat one thing for the rest of your life what would it be?
Zephyr: I am still quite young and I haven’t figured out what I like to eat yet, really. Aside from freeze dried chicken I get bored of things rather quickly.
Anthony: Lastly, I want to end on a slightly political note. What do you think about the ongoing rivalry between cats and dogs?
Zephyr: I only know one dog – she also likes caves so at least we have that in common. Where there are intercultural differences it’s good to start with one thing you can agree upon.
If you have a pet who would like to be interviewed or featured in an upcoming newsletter, let me know in the comments below, or email me at anthony.grzegorzewski@ubc.ca.