All posts by raymon saran

The Last Post by Raymon Saran

I must say this course was a breath of fresh air (cliche, I know…). But for real, being able to guide ourselves through each week was nice. It wasn’t just sitting in a lecture hall with a professor talking at you and expecting you to retain all information imaginable for a test in a couple weeks. As a matter of fact these lectures were engaging and thought-provoking. They were actually interesting!

Not only was the freedom nice though, we got to add to our repertoire of books that we’ve read. To be honest, I hadn’t sat down and just read a book for a while until this course started. Everything – everyone is busy. I guess reading just wasn’t one of my priorities at the time. However, this course allowed me to read as part of the course. A win-win situation I guess. I get to read because I want to and it counts towards credits.

What’s more is that we also got to see our classmates’ thoughts on each text in addition to giving our own. Sometimes the work I’ve done in other classes doesn’t seem worth it because I don’t get to connect with others on it. Being able to give and receive comments on each of our posts was great, not only for feedback, but for that “it’s worth it” feeling of your work being read for more than just a grade.

I think the structure of this course was nice because we knew what needed to be done week in and week out. Some would say this gets repetitive, I can only agree in the instance of it being the only class you’re taking. With other classes that have more of an irregular schedule, having one that remains stable throughout the semester is great. Much less worrying and much more productiveness.

As for the actual texts we read, I enjoyed reading them more than I thought I would. Many of them involved memory as a theme, which is something I do find interesting – especially when it comes to introspection. I can’t say there’s a particular one I really really like, but off the top of my head if someone asks which book I remember it would be Nada – or Combray. I can’t exactly pinpoint why I think of Nada – actually that’s not true, it’s because I referenced it in the lyrics of an unreleased song of mine. But for Combray I think it was just the, what felt like, aimless speech of random thoughts between excerpts of the actual story.

My question for anyone who sees this from class is: which of your blogposts do you feel is your best written and why? I may just read the one you say!

I must say that our professor, Jon, made what some people may not have thought to be an appealing course – a great one – with the help of Jennifer and Patricio. I had a pleasant experience.

My Brilliant Friend by Elena Ferrante

This novel was, in a sense, eye-opening for me. I find this to be mainly due to the unfortunate circumstances that Lila and Elena endured from such a young age. From poverty to violence and just a struggle of trying to find a way to be something when surrounded by negativity. It really brought a real life connection because there are real people who go through these kinds of life events, immediately after they’re born. The story kind of brought that to the forefront, at least in my mind.

A recurring theme was the jealousy of Elena towards Lila. Like Elena found any attention to be good attention, for example when Lila was said to be missing. Elena somehow still felt like she had passed up an opportunity in some sense. Although this seemed to be an extreme case of jealousy, I can understand how friends can even be envious towards each other. Especially when you’re going through so many life experiences together and then one isn’t involved in something, I guess it can just be summed up as FOMO – fear of missing out.

I liked what appeared as a lack of length from chapter to chapter. The quick transitions were nice, as opposed to having read like 20+ pages and not having such a clear understanding of what happened because of so much in between. Also, the separations of stories within the novel. Like with the labelling of a prologue as “Eliminating All the Traces” and the section on childhood called “the Story of Don Achille.” I just feel like this helps me stay accountable of what I’ve just read and how to piece it together afterwards. Honestly speaking, without these checkmarks I find myself going back in novels often to make sure I haven’t missed something. Catching every detail I can on the first read.

In a way this was a coming of age story that followed pretty realistic aspects of some people’s lives. I also feel like it has appeal to many due to its coverage of so many topics, most people can find something to relate to. This leads me to my question: what aspect of the story did you relate with most and why? Being able to relate to a story always feels more rewarding to me. It’s like a bonus that you got to self reflect through a book that maybe made you realize some things you hadn’t before.

Soldiers of Salamis by Javier Cercas

I liked how this novel, although it was separated into 3 parts, tied together. Some of the other texts we’ve gone over throughout the semester have been confusing or difficult to put together due to uncertain timelines, memory rambling, or whatever it may be. This one seemed to stay on track for the most part.

The opening of the first page was interesting. I enjoyed the narrator’s way of exposing his personality, by playing – what seemed like – a game of 2 truths and a lie. When the point of view of a story is like the main character is talking to you, it sometimes can feel like they’re just talking at you, but this helped with keeping me engaged because he was representing himself naturally. Like how one corrects themselves in the middle of their sentences. It made the experience more personal.

However, for the actual story I didn’t find it very intriguing. I can appreciate the chain of events and lengths the narrator went to within their journey, but I found the presentation of information more enjoyable. It reminded of a more typical storytelling. Giving information piece by piece as you found it at the time. Though sometimes writers can overdo it by providing information too easily, I felt like Cercas executed it well.

One thing that stood out to me was the literal presentation of text page by page. It could have just been the PDF version I had, but there would be pages completely filled (like a wall of text – which I usually don’t like) then after a while a couple of pages would have a slightly larger font size and give insight to what the author had just written. At first it was annoying, but it grew on me. It allowed a break from what could seem overwhelming and acted as little tidbits that provided context. To say the least it was very different, but I like different.

I haven’t really said much about the content or plot of the story, I guess because I didn’t find it that interesting (as I said above). I will say though, that for something once again regarding war, it added a slightly different element. As it speaks of how Mazas was set free with the help of another soldier and the innerworkings of war.

My question for this novel is, how did you react to the way Cercas presented his story? Did you find it to not leave enough to the imagination or was it just enough? I think some may find it as telling to much, but it’s probably due to the narrator being a journalist and generally going from point to point.

Amulet by Roberto Bolano

This novel was interesting. I especially liked the conviction and control the narrator uses at the beginning. Letting us know she is in charge of telling the story. The opening lines of the text are so thought-provoking, as they preface the story as being of horror but refusing to tell it as such a story. Also how she pours out a bunch seemingly about herself within the first few pages. We get to know about her process while she writes almost all of her thoughts down – line by line. These types of narration are what I like. It’s like a conversation – someone truly explaining their thought process, detail by detail. It helps me keep engaged with the story and listen to it with curiosity.

The approach that the narrator takes by making a horror story seem not-so-much like one was imaginative. It was like she was very level-headed and great at (for lack of a better term) comforting herself, while also softening the blow of how terrifying of an experience she had for readers. Auxilio’s more relaxed and ordinary way speaking when narrating aids in a gentle output of a panic story, as well as making her seem more believable. When novels are overly detailed and dramatic, I start to sense a bit of ingenuity and too much exaggeration – like they’re trying to sell and push the story too hard. Whereas this is a good middle-ground, it unveils the story to be believable without excessive convincing.

However, I did question some areas – as she was doubting herself when recalling some incidences. But memory is interesting, as over the years it can become misconstrued and lack some details wherein we may input our own or what we’d like to believe.

Being in such a position as Auxilio, I have no idea how I’d handle it. I’d like to say I do well under pressure, but this is more than an astronomy test that I didn’t study enough for. It comes down to life and death, not just a quick right moment at the right time either, spanning over almost 2 weeks. The amount of contemplation I would be going through is inexplicable.

I wonder how the story would have turned out if it was written from a horror or thriller perspective. I’d imagine that I would be even more engaged as those are my go-to genres for reading, movies, and more. So my question is, do you think you would have enjoyed the novel more or less if it was depicted from a horror-story stance? And why?

The Old Gringo by Carlos Fuentes

I’m not sure if it was just the version of the novel that I had, but certain parts of the story resembled poetry to me. Not only with how it was written, but how it was visually represented on the pages. With some sentences cutting short and then finishing them in subsequent lines that have been spaced out. Sometimes even stretching a couple sentences over half of a page to a full page with so much spacing. I liked it though. It gave me something to engage with more. A wall of text on each page can feel overwhelming, so this broke it up a bit and allowed me to take time to process things better.

The story as a whole was not so interesting to me though. I’m usually into mystery-type of stories, but maybe more recent ones that I can relate to more. This novel tackled some concepts, like a civil war and a death wish that Bierce had. Which objectively didn’t intrigue me. Although war is an important concept, it’s just not something I find compelling to read about. And the fact that Bierce had a death wish was dispiriting. I could never bring myself to such a thought – I actually, disregarding reality, would like to live as long as the world does. Even though that may not be such a pleasant experience, that’s something that sparks my curiosity – like what it would be like so long from now – I want to be there for it.

Furthermore, the way the relationships are depicted as the novel plays out are strange. The whole forceful sexual encounters and incestual-seeming (but not) bond between the old gringo and Harriet. It wasn’t easy to wrap my mind around. It was disturbing, but also just difficult to understand how one could be attracted to someone that they felt was like their daughter. That was just not something I’d properly thought about before – I guess it had caught me off guard.

I wouldn’t say I enjoyed nor disliked the text. This novel was just a story with an odd concept. Maybe I would have been able to connect to it if I knew more about that era and how the times were.

For this week my question is, what do you think drives one to a death wish? It could be the unknown, or the fact that you do know there is an end. Maybe you would have to be in some sort of existential state of contemplation. Let me know!

W, or The Memory of Childhood by Georges Perec

This novel confronts the theme of memory quite differently than the others we’ve previously read. Most of the texts I’d read before this speak from a point of memory, past-tense, and experience, whereas Perec approached memories that weren’t there. It brought an alternate perspective of how some have the privilege of accessing and reflecting on such memories, and others not so much – for various reasons. An assumption I made based on the lack of childhood memories was that it was due to trauma, mainly because of the war. Many can dissociate from a time in their life when it’s tied to some sort of trauma, war being a likely trigger.

Although I haven’t necessarily lost my sense of childhood memories, I do relate to how the past can become twisted or jumbled up in one’s mind. Thinking about certain times in my life prove to be either recounted as differently than they were or just completely missing from my mind. However, I can’t seem to pinpoint when I lost the clarity or how it was lost. Having this self-reflection period made me connect with the novel more, it’s nice when a text can make you think.

Something that I question though, is the title. Maybe it’s a play into the whole loss-of-memory theme, but it seems like Perec is unsure of it. Just the presence of “or” being there, like it’s up for debate or something. Then again, it could be to do with the double story. Where one is intertwining with the other, so there’s two titles combined. It would be interesting to know whether it was purposeful or out of hesitance.

A connection that was though-provoking between the two stories was the island and the Holocaust. The fact that the narrator could make this connection, unless it was unintentional, shows me that there is some recollection there. With the violent games and the concentration camps. Though it could be that it just happens to correlate, it seems more like it was thought out.

Having that the narrator appears to have lost some parts of their childhood, assuming it’s due to trauma from the Holocaust, I wonder how common it is for for others who survived it as well. I may have to do some research on that. In that I will ask, do you feel like you know your childhood well, and why? Even more so, for the parts you may not remember, is it due to trauma or why do you think those parts are missing?

The Passion According to G.H. by Clarice Lispector

This novel seemed to be a bit more engaging for myself compared to the others I’ve read for this course. I think I was able to find certain passages of Lispector’s writing to be overdramatic and borderline humorous, with immense detail to totally picture it happening. The best example of this would be the beginning of the cockroach encounter. From the clear fright of the narrator to the seemingly nonsensical certainty of the cockroach’s age. As I read it I chuckled and questioned how one would even consider such an unnecessary fact in that state of fear. Then just with the following line my question was answered, “with my archaic horror of cockroaches I’d
learned to guess, even from a distance, their ages and
dangers…,” like how? I guess these types of details revealed more pieces of the character and had me actually think about and imagine the kind of person I was listening to.

I also enjoyed the first person perspective. This type of writing helps me with interacting with the text and feeling like I’m conversating with the narrator, like they’re talking to me or presenting something and I’m paying attention. Additionally, the step by step approach of laying out each detail really helped me follow along. I didn’t feel like I was missing anything, which can often happen to me with novels.

G.H. appears to be confronting herself after doing, to her, what would be unthinkable. However, it triggers a downward spiral for her. Causing her to deeply introspect and question her being. Although it’s different for G.H. and can be considered a traumatic event for her, I related to this in a not-so-superficial but not-so-deep way. Introspection/self-reflection is something I really take time to do and it can lead to seeing yourself, others, or the world as something you don’t want to or you wouldn’t expect. Then realizing this is hard to swallow and then change. Though, for G.H. it was extreme.

My question for this week is more of a personal one. Do you self-reflect, and if you do have you ever come across a harsh reality about yourself or something else? I feel like this question is important (especially to me) because it can reveal how self-aware people are, as well as how aware people are of their surroundings and what their actions can mean for not only themselves. This novel can open new doors of thought that people may not have experienced or be ready for.

Bonjour Tristesse by Françoise Sagan

I decided to look up the author, as I do with most of what I read, and was surprised to find that Françoise Sagan was only 18 years old when she published Bonjour Tristesse. Also that it was her first novel and is her most popular novel ever published. This was inspiring to find. That one could have such a lasting effect with their writing, even if it was their first and only at the age of 18. Here we are in 2022, 68 years after Bonjour Tristesse‘s publication, and continuing to derive meaning from it.

Now, although I bring up the fact that memory appears to be a theme of Romantic writing, at least based off of the reading list we have access to, I have just recently discovered that it is not coincidental. It was gently calculated (haha) by Jon, our professor. It just so happens by chance that we have encountered many texts in reference to memory or reminiscing or past experience. However, this will not prevent me from making these types of connections from text to text.

Specifically, the main character being a young woman and the idea of moving, introduced early on in the novel, reminded me of Nada by Carmen Laforet, which I read last week. Laforet’s novel also followed a similar theme of memory. These texts were also similar in the modern aspect of them, for which they confronted concepts that teenagers should not, but often do, have to deal with. For example, in Nada the chaos inside of her house and problems from her family intertwining with her life and in Bonjour Tristesse, Raymond’s personal life with his mistress, Elsa, intertwining with Cécile’s thoughts and uncertainty of her and whether she was threatening to their father-daughter relationship. Additionally, Laforet’s novel involved sexual themes like Sagan’s, exploring language that can be seen as support for sexual liberation – something that may have been looked down upon in that day and age, of when Bonjour Tristesse and Nada were published. These novels are great at exploring modernity and push to dive into themes like sexuality, teenage thoughts, empowerment of women, and more – so much like what we see today.

With this I would like to ask, could you personally see yourself expressing these intense themes with the public eye watching over you? The first thing that comes to mind is age, the fact that Sagan was only 18 when she published this novel shows the true confidence and comfortability she had within herself. I feel as if I already express intense themes as such, with my music – through lyrics – figurative speech – explicit language. Just not caring about what an outsider would have to say, but that’s just me.

Nada by Carmen Laforet

The first thing I want to recognize is something I said in a discussion group during my class last week. It was along the lines of whether these texts (that I’ve chosen) will all follow the theme of memories, past experience, or just past tense writing in general. This is the fourth book to do so. Although this has little to do with whether I enjoy the reading at the end of the day, it does make me think about Romantic writing and if the past or memory is an element of it. Or if it just a coincidence. But for some reason I keep finding myself noticing that and questioning if it’s on purpose with all Romance writing. I guess I will soon find out as I continue reading each week.

Within the contents of the book, I wanted to relate to more in certain areas, such as making a close friend as Andrea initially transitioned into university. However, it just isn’t so. The current state of the world, considering safety precautions, masks and all, I feel makes it difficult to engage in conversation and friendships as easily. Not that I haven’t made friends by any means, just not that type of connection Andrea and Ena had. Though I did relate to the university component and

This novel played into the aspect of modernity quite a bit, similar to last week’s reading of The Shrouded Woman by Maria Luisa Bombal. With the main character being a woman and exploring concepts like university, friends, relationships, and such. It brought a more realistic dimension to it all. Also like Bombal’s book there were areas describing love interests, which although this course isn’t about that kind of romance, is nice to see. I feel like woman outwardly expressing their love interests wasn’t so common back when this was published in 1945, so to have two female characters addressing their appeal for romance was refreshing – something new. Additionally, the acknowledgement of Andrea being an orphan also seems to be somewhat in the realm of modernism. I say this for the fact that Laforet even had the idea of bringing forth a concept often looked down upon and that people are so hush-hush about.

All of this brings me to ask, do you believe that the theme of memory/past experience/past tense has something more to do with Romance writing than just a style of writing? It could just be by chance that a lot of writing is written from that sort of point of view or that Romance writing specifically had this embedded in its roots.

The Shrouded Woman by Maria Luisa Bombal

The Shrouded Woman, in my opinion, really captured the theme of being modern in comparison to the texts I’ve reviewed in previous weeks. There were many different ideas being explored, such as the point of view being someone reflecting on themselves being dead and the main character being a woman, as opposed to a male.

Although Ana Maria, the narrator, is dead, Bombal personifies her body, to the extent of being able to feel, think, and see. This breaks down the wall between the deceased and living, allowing a difficult but interesting concept to be displayed. This is where “making it new” really comes into effect. The fact that this novel is fiction doesn’t matter, it forces us to bond with a character that is no longer living, but convinces us they are, with thoughts and statements that make sense for a deceased person to have. Specifically, the types of thoughts Ana Maria had were understandable. She’s not hung up on everyday thoughts, but on the most significant of thoughts. For example, her teenage years and love interests early on in life, things that she brought her joy or that she would have done differently. Whereas an ordinary person would just be thinking about what they’re going to eat today. Bombal really found a way to bring a dead person to life, by identifying the truest of events in their life that they would reminisce on if they could. It made me think about how often we think about things that don’t matter, the most miniscule of things – to a point where it almost brought me confidence. To a point where I feel like I may think and live a little differently, or try to at least, with thinking more about the bigger picture and not so much dwelling on unimportant things.

Something that stood out to me was in some of Bombal’s description, particularly the repetition she uses. It reminded of my own story writing, but even more of Edgar Allan Poe’s writing in certain passages. Like in section 3, “the rain falls, finely, obstinately, quietly. And she listens to it falling. Falling on the rooftops, falling until it bends the high heads of the pine trees and the broad arms of the blue cedars, falling. Falling until it drowns the clover and obliterates the paths, falling.” The many different ways of describing one short event involving rain, and extending it like its own story from one detail to another. I especially enjoyed areas of the text like this, as it made it feel familiar to me.

Now I ask, why do you think Bombal took the approach of a deceased main character as the narrator of her story? It may be because Bombal is trying to shock us or make us uncomfortable by relating to a deceased character or maybe it’s just the initial idea Bombal had. Regardless, this approach really brought another element to the theme of modern writing for me.