Author Archives: michaelc

Baby Hacks! And no, Michael Haack is not knocked up.

The previous post went over some basic lingo you’ll need to know to get around UBC. In The Ubyssey’s first year issue, they go more in depth with everything you need to know on campus. We won’t even try to offer the same information, but we can aid all of you inspiring student politicians who show up to the first AMS Council meeting of the year…never to be seen again.

Hack: A term used to describe someone in student politics. Yes, it is an actual word, but we use it more to describe a general group of people on the inside who are slightly (or super) wonky. #hacktastic is also a hashtag.

LPC: Not the Liberal Party of Canada, but rather the Legislative Procedures Committee (previously referred to as LeProComm). They deal with code, bylaws, and other fun things no one wants to touch…like the recent AMS pay increase.

SOL: Special Occasion License. You need to get one of these to host a party on campus, and the RCMP are cracking down. Recent changes mean that you can be fined up to $10,000 for an infraction (read: one person too drunk, one person underage drinking, etc) which would essentially bankrupt a club.

UnECoRn: Our legacy. University External Committee on Relations aka the committee that has to do with the VP External’s portfolio, like lobbying for things. You’ll be sitting in a meeting and everything will seriously be using the word “unicorn” and would probably think they’re on crack if you don’t get it.

Insiders: the longest running VFM blog, they write really long posts about really wonky things. Also, three former Confidential editors have dated three Insiders editors, funny thing.

Senate: They deal with the academic side of governing campus and have a lot of student representation…if you want to run for something, run for Senate, there’s lots of openings and it’s not that hard to get elected.

BoG: Board of Governors, and they deal with pretty much everything else. They are very big picture, appointed, have only two student reps, and are the Bad Ass Mother Fuckers on campus.

Sean Heisler: resident hottie who loves to cook, ballroom dance, and cuddle. Probably the most powerful student on campus. Single.

CUS/AUS/EUS/SUS: Your constituencies. If the AMS was the US Congress, these would be the states. In order to get elected to the AMS body, you need to win in your constituency election. Your constituency is your undergraduate society, and like a state, they are more involved in your day to day life specific to your faculty.

What are we missing? Let us know in the comments!

Think this post sucks and is devoid of glitter? Yeah, we think so too. So why don’t you do something about it and APPLY TO BE A BLOGGER? Send us your favourite meme, favourite YouTube video, and something you once wrote to amsconfidential at gmail dot com 🙂

The UBC Dictionary

So, you’re a first year student. You’ve memorized your classrooms and schedule and are ready to show up bright and early for your very first class on your very first day.

But wait, what is this? No class on the first day of school? Imagine Day? What the hell is that?

And, for that matter, what’s IKB? Which Buchanan is Buchanan D? (Eventually you will learn how to spell it right) Why does everyone say they’re going to drink at Koerner Library?

An even better question is, how the hell did you get on

Chances are that you’re NOT a first year student and you already know EVERYTHING there is to know about UBC lingo. But, on the off-chance that with a fresh batch of freshmen comes a fresh new audience, here are some UBC words that you first years ought to know:

Imagine Day – the First Day of School

But you don’t actually GO to class (Imagine that, eh?)! Instead, you’ll be with a group of other first-year students, walking around campus and get all pumped-up, pep-rally style. Clear lines will be drawn between the faculties and, from your very first day onwards, you’ll be able to recognize the red-jacket’d Engineers and the suit-wearing business-card-trading Commerce students and you’ll only see Forestry students once in a blue moon.

After lunch and all the “rah-rah, go faculty” comes what is probably the best part—Free Swag! Bring a backpack and visit as many Clubs Booths as you can. Seriously, for the entire year, I have survived on pens, pencils and folders that I got for free on Imagine Day. Oh, and free condoms! and ice cream floats!

Storm the Wall – Huge Student Event and University Bonding Experience

You won’t hear about this until near the end of the year, but if you hang out by UBC Rec long enough, it’ll be sure to come up in a conversation. In the middle of March, there will be a giant wooden wall placed right in front of the SUB. And on Storm the Wall Day, people will climb it.

Oh, and there’s a triathlon that you do before you climb the wall. They kinda forget to emphasize that. You can brave the race on your own, but for most, it’s the most fun with a bunch of friends who are as fit (or not) as you are. If you aren’t extremely unfit and you have friends, it should definitely be on your to-do list. It’s the campus bonding experience that alumni fondly remember, long after they graduate.

AMS – Like Student Council, but Bigger

The UBC version of your high school student council. Except they have mo’ money and mo’ problems. There’s srs bsns council, with “motions”, “agendas” and “budgets. And then there’s fun and silly council, with in-jokes, good times and Twitter. Lots of Twitter. 

Chances are that you will hear about the AMS once a year, when someone somewhere gets upset with something the AMS did. It happens like clockwork. Expect to read about it in December’s Ubyssey.

The Ubyssey – Student Newspaper, now 100% more Shiny

Journalism occurs there. Filled to the glossy-paged brim with campus news and campus events, topped off with a healthy dash of humour and a pinch of university-branded snark. If you want to stay in the loop with what the heck is going on around UBC, you can never go wrong with the Ubyssey.

Buchanan Tower.

It was in that X-Men movie. But in real life, it’s a lot of offices for Arts professors. You’ll probably go there for office hours. It’s tall, and near Buchanan.


That’s us. We do stuff like this, you vote for us, we get money. When there is money to be won, anyway.

The Honour Roll.

Sushi in the basement of the SUB. It’s got a pun for a name, so you KNOW it’s gotta be good.

Wreck Beach.

It’s a beach. Clothing optional. But it’s not always the good kind of clothing optional. I don’t know, I’m not the best authority on Wreck Beach.

The 99 B-Line.

Urban legend says it was named after a very fast bee. Possibly will be replaced with a UBC Line. But you know, Translink. Hurrdurr jokes.


Arts County Fair. It was a legendary party, or so I’ve heard. But it’s not around anymore, for one reason or another. Probably something to do with funding, or something to do with alcohol. No one talks about it much anymore, but for some, it will always be referred to as the “good old days”. It’s like an extreme UBC in-joke. If you can namedrop ACF into a conversation, then you’ve officially become 100% UBC.

FuckYeahNumbers – CUSElections AfterMATH

* Also, a quick something on Sauder secret building monies (oOOOooohh). Read about that and more after the break.

As a former/current math nerd, there’s nothing that gets me more excited than being able to throw numbers and statistics around and feel important. It’s like a second Christmas, except instead of bits of shredded wrapping paper flying through the air, it’s percentages and … other math things flying through the air. You can only imagine the intense feelings I have towards Pie R Squared.


To be fair, though, Sauder has a LOT of good looking and sexy numbers to throw around this year:

Continue reading

The Sauder One-Week Referendum Challenge

On Sunday, the CUS announced they would be having a referendum to iron out a few kinks in their constitution, which they passed just a few years ago, back in 2008. Normally, this wouldn’t be really super-big news, and it isn’t, but it looks like they’re going to try and pull it all off in JUST ONE WEEK!

Why such a hurry? Well, in order for some of the changes to take affect (namely, a smaller Board of Directors), they have to get it passed BEFORE their next election, which is also in a week. In fact, voting has actually been pushed back and shortened for a day in order for people to hold the referendum vote first.

On Monday night at the All Candidates Meeting, Senator Chad Embree appealed to all candidates to include the referendum in their campaigns, to try and make this miracle happen. There hasn’t been any referendum campaigning action yet (since everything seems to be happening on Facebook. Sauder = Sustainable). In order to pass the referendum, there has to be 10% of Sauder’s 2700 undergrads voting with over 2/3 voting yes. So, if my Commerce math is correct, that means they’ll have to campaign as hard as …… any of the candidates in the AMS Elections. Even the ones who no one has heard of and lost by a landslide.

Which is still more than no campaigning, mind you, Sauder.

So we’ve started campaigning for you!
Come to our totally serious facebook group here!

Where did all the Commerce go?

You all know what a Commerce student is. Even though their new, expensive building keeps them oh-so-exclusive and they’re dwarfed in sized by Science and Arts, you’ve seen them around. There’s at least one of them running that club you’re in and they’re always click-click-clicking away on their Blackberries and Macbooks, dreaming of fast cars and fast money.

So where did they all go? With Ben Cappellacci’s recent resignation from the BoG race, the only Sauder-ite left running for office this year is Michael Moll, who’s a fresh face to AMS politics. His “experience” consists of being 2nd year and 3rd year rep at Commerce and a “business blog” that reminds us of a certain boring Owl. His platform is literally “The AMS should be more like the CUS”. Way to represent, Moll.

Last year’s Commerce candidates were filled with big names like Bijan (joint MBA/Law and, J Rebane (Kicking it with Pedobear), Ekat (a Foxtrot Fox) and Stas Pavlov (writes for these guys). There were seven Commerce candidates last year and almost all of them got elected!

(Interesting sidenote: the only candidate who beat a Commerce student last year was Jeremy McElroy, so look out, Moll!)

What did we do wrong, Sauder; what did we do?

So UBC, show those Commerce kiddies that you still care! Get out your boomboxes and your mix tapes and stand outside those Henry Angus windows! Better yet, maybe pretend to care about their upcoming CUS elections, which I hear some of the above names are running in.

Because underneath their Globe and Mail newspapers and cheap suits,
there beats a heart that wants to be loved. <3

(Bored by a post without any pictures? Don’t worry, our endorsements are going up REEAAAAL soon.

Don’t forget to show US some love, too, and vote for us for Voter-Funded Media funding!)

Liveblogging is Overated, Anyways @ CiTR Debates One

If you weren’t listening to CiTR 101.9 today or don’t read the Minimalist Owl Blog because it may/may not hurt your “Arts student” eyes , then you might have missed the first of many (and sometimes simultaneous) debates of this election. Well, do we have a treat for you!

Yeah, that's what I said, too

Yeah, that's what I said, too

Continue reading