The title says it all – this will be an account of the day I lost a part of my dignity (exactly three inches off of it) at UBC.
A little bit of a context, this title was also the title I used for the paper for which my social experiment was for. As a sociology student, social experiments are not something new to me, but this particular one was quite challenging.
The Context
I’m Ivan Arlantico, a third-year (officially, at least) Sociology major at the University of British Columbia. I am ethnically Chinese-Filipino, born and raised in the Philippines and now a permanent resident residing in Vancouver. (This will be relevant in a second, I promise.) For this term, I’m taking a sociology course with the title: Social Movements.
Interesting right? It gets better.
One of our assignments in the course is to break a social norm related to a social movement. Think feminist movement and wearing pants way back when. So we need to all do something similar – pick a movement, do something that’s NOT considered normal, and then write about the whole experience.
What did I pick? The LGBTQ movement and wearing three-inch peep toe pumps to school.
The Experiment
I bought the shoes – I had to, I didn’t know anyone who’s feet are as huge as mine and would lend me shoes – and picked a date I’d wear them to school. I planned on wearing them to school for a whole day (all my female friends were against it, some just thought it was going to be too painful, some were concerned about the stares, looks, and comments I’d get). But I brought a pair of “regular” shoes just in case.
So I was wearing my regular clothes – a hoodie and black jeans – BUT with heels instead of my regular sneakers.
The Outcome
I wore them to one class – JUST ONE CLASS – and I had to take them off.
No, it wasn’t because they were painful.
Not even because I couldn’t walk in them.
I had to take them off because I couldn’t take the amount of reactions I was getting – my classmates staring at me and then whispering. It did not matter what they were whispering about, they could be saying all sorts of great things about my fashion choice, JUST THE FACT THAT THEY WERE WHISPERING AND NOT TELLING ME THINGS DIRECTLY BOTHERED ME SO MUCH. I couldn’t take it, I had to remove the shoes.
That was when I lost three inches off my dignity.
It made me realize that I did not have what it takes to stand up and stand out – I was uncomfortable with not conforming. I could just think of all the people who are fighting for their rights, for equality, and for recognition, and I could see them all probably disappointed in how I copped-out of my “stand” for gender-equality.
I thought it would be easy to say: “I’m wearing heels because I believe that people should not be judged by what they are wearing.” And it was, it was easy to say, problem was, not everyone had time to listen to what I had to say. Everyone just looked at me, and judged me however they saw fit.
So, UBC?
This whole exercise made me realize one thing: UBC has a dress-code for students.
Okay, bear with me, I know it’s probably super obvious for some people – or totally new for someone. Either way, it’s more profound than it sounds.
I came to UBC last year, this is only my second year here, and I remember a bunch of orientation events – and not one of them addressed dress-code. I don’t remember being given any rundowns on needing to conform to any dress-code as a UBC student! I don’t think there was even any mention that UBC has a dress-code.
Okay, maybe I did not get the memo, but still.
I never felt more socialized (or indoctrinated) into UBC than at that moment — that moment when I was forced to change my shoes because it did not conform with the UBC standard.
Reflective Theory (ish)
As a sociology student for, well, years, I cannot help but theorize and see this whole experience through a sociological lens. What do I mean?
This whole thing with me and UBC and dressing “appropriately” (and by appropriately I mean dressing-in-a-way-where-I-don’t-get-weird-looks-from-everyone) made me realize how powerless individuals often are in situations where the society at large dictates what should and should not be. Choosing to wear peep toe pumps to school is me exercising my agency (or my personal power to make decisions and act), changing back into sneakers was me losing that agency in fear of the consequences of my going against the acceptable norm (or whatever people, or majority of the society considers normal).
This is what Foucault mentions in his work Discipline and Punish as internalized control and the panopticon.
Fancy terms. But basically – panopticon refers to a type of architecture used for prisons where there’s a tower in the middle and … well, let me just show you.
So basically, there’s a tower in the middle where the guards are and the prisoners are in the rooms around it. The goal is for the guards to always see the prisoners but the prisoners will not see the guards — so they never know when someone is there, they just know that THERE IS A POSSIBILITY that they’re being watched but they’re never certain.
What does this have to do with society? Well, Foucault says people internalize this control. We act like these prisoners — we always feel like we’re being watched and then we do what is expected of us because we’re afraid of the consequences!
I took the shoes off, because I was afraid of the ridicule and whatever other people might have in store for me for “breaking the norm.” There were not any formal sanctions, but I felt it. There really isn’t any other way of explaining it, but just that I felt it.
Try it. Try doing something that is not considered “normal” and see how it feels. (Don’t do something criminal though, that has very tangible consequences!)
What am I trying to say?
Next time you wear something to or do something while at UBC, think about why you’re doing it.
Who are you following? What “rules” do you observe as normal?
References:
Foucault, Michel (1975/2012) “From Discipline and Punish.” In Scott Appelrouth and Laura Desfor Edles. Classical and Contemporary Sociological Theory (2nd edition). Thousand Oaks, CA: SAGE Pine Forge Press. Pp. 622-636