Who am I not when I am?

I am always very reflexive (when the occasion calls for it — which is almost always, well, always) when I put myself into a discourse or a discussion. That means I am always, as I was trained to be, very aware of who I am and why my perspective would be what it is.  For example, this is something I wrote for one of my papers for a university theory class:

Before I proceed with my essay, I will first take this time to position myself socially and be reflexive about my specific background. I am doing this as an exercise to act on my awareness that my personal subject-position has an effect in the production of knowledge that I will be endeavoring.

I am a Third-Year Arts student at the University of British Columbia majoring in Sociology. I am a Filipino-Chinese male who, at the moment, resides in Canada with a permanent resident status.

I am writing this essay with two main agendas: to fulfill an academic requirement for my Sociology class, and to be socially relevant – I am writing to bring attention to the presence of taken-for-granted realities that are responsible for propagating and perpetuating the inequality and oppression very much present today.  (Arlantico 2013)

That’s the kind of awareness I have for my positionality — or, in other words, I am very much aware of the different identities I have and how they present themselves.  For the most part, I always try to be as exhaustive as I can be when I position myself. TRY being the operative word, which means there are identities I often leave out — either accidentally or intentionally.

However, in my two-year stay at UBC so far, I’ve been to two distinct events when I was (almost) completely ONLY ONE THING: a UBC Student. 

In September of 2013 I was a new transfer student to UBC — and of course, that meant I was attending Imagine Day. Imagine day was really fun. Tons of people everywhere, I get to see a really beautiful campus that I can call mine [sic], I’m meeting a lot of new and interesting people, and it marks a new chapter in my life.  I was still very aware of who I was throughout that day though — I was a transfer student, I was a sociology major, I am an immigrant, and I am visibly Asian — as excited as I was to use the hashtag #IAMUBC, I was completely aware that I am not JUST a student at UBC, I am more distinct than that.

BUT… this happened:

and this…


Yup. PEP RALLY happened at the end of the day. The Thunderbird stadium, which can seat about 3500 people, was full of loud cheers, music, and a lot of of other really REALLY happy noise! I was in a sea of people all cheering for UBC! There were different rousing speeches made by different pertinent people in the university whose pertinence did not matter as much to me as their very inspiring speeches on #IAMUBC and how WE are UBC! Then there was an alumnus who did spoken word poetry on getting a degree, a couple of musical acts followed, and a WHOLE lot of cheering happened. Every faculty had their own color, own cheer, and occupied a distinct space in the auditorium; however, there was no other competing feel in the air: WE ARE UBC STUDENTS AND WE ARE DAMN PROUD THAT WE ARE.

That was instance one. The first instance in my UBC stay where I was nothing else other than — I AM UBC.

Fast forward a full year and a month — October 2014, this happened:

AMS AGM 2014

 

For the first time in 40 years, we have quorum.

Because of the proposed increased international student tuition and residence fees, UBC students banded together to show that we are AGAINST IT. (If you want to know more about the proposed fee increases, here is an article on The Talon about it, here is an article on The Ubyssey on the international tuition fee increase, and here is one on the residence fee increase also from The Ubyssey). For the first time in 40 years, YES, FORTY years, the AMS held an AGM and we had quorum — which means any and every decision made in that meeting was binding, WHICH in turn means that the AMS can say that the decisions and stances agreed upon during the meeting are representative of the whole student body.

Could you imagine being part of that? I was overwhelmed by the overall atmosphere in that room. Students were politically active! It did not matter who you were, at that very moment, you are a UBC student standing up for yourself and your fellow UBC student!

At that moment, I was nothing else but a UBC student — I am a student, I want my voice heard, and I am voting on these issues!

Reflecting back, the 2013 Pep Rally and the 2014 AMS AGM were two instances where I was solely a UBC student — which means, those were two instances where I was completely devoid of any other identity and social position other than those afforded to me as a UBC student.

Putting the spotlight on something inevitably casts shadows on some other things. Spotlighting my identity as a UBC student effectively erased all my other identities — at least in the brief moments when I had the spotlight on that particular identity. Often it’s not really about identifying with multiple things; I suggest that tackling identities — whether it be in your daily life or in an academic paper or class — should always be done by looking at the context through which those identities arose.

What does this mean? It means individuals and their (well, OUR) identities are products of the tension between the social and the personal — or as CW Mills will put it, the public and the private. Basically, following Mills’ idea of how personal troubles and never detached from public issues, we can never see ourselves apart from the social context within which we stand. That context could be as constant as your personal family history (where you were born and where you were raised) to something as fleeting as which seat on the bus you took and who sat beside you.

What am I getting at? Two things:

1. Our identities are closely tied in with our lived experiences and the contexts within which those experiences came about and are rooted in. That means, our identities are formed and understood through different contexts, AND the different expressions of our various identities are also understood through different contexts.

2. Every time a specific – -or some specific — identity of ourselves take the spotlight, some other identities are muted. Often, this is based on the context within which you express that certain identity.

So the next time you start your statement with “I am…” think of all the “I am not…” that come with it.

References:

CW Mills, The Promise (1959)

#IamUBC and Imagine Day

Dear UBC (past, future, and present) Students,

UBC is an incredible place- a “place of promise” as we see in some of UBC’s messages marketed to us. It provides us with an astounding number of opportunities to redefine, develop, and discover ourselves and turn students into productive, fully functioning members of society. I personally am very thankful to have had the opportunity to attain a rich and fulfilling education here at UBC and would not change my decision to attend UBC for my undergraduate degree. I’m not sure if I would have matured to the extent that I have at a different university than UBC. However, the purpose of this post is not to criticize or praise UBC as an institution of education, rather, I want to point out the importance of recognizing UBC as an institution not unlike many others that participate in our free-market system. Specifically, as with other major institutions, UBC profits off of (y)our identification with and participation in its reproduction, and this means that your reverence for the UBC brand is something this institution works very hard to maintain and survives from in ways far beyond what you might expect. In other words, your consumption of the UBC brand is a highly powerful act.

To explain using some theoretical approaches: let’s start with a Marxian concept. While people with little social science background might associate Marx with communism, he didn’t only talk about a utopian ideal, he was also really good at explaining how systems of power operate economically, but especially socially and politically. Specifically, Marx approaches power through the perspective of the social construct, meaning that power is simply a result of peoples’ thinking. As long as people attach certain values and meanings to symbols, power and control can not only be predicted, it can also be interrupted and changed.

A great quote that Marx uses to illustrate this is through his explanation of ideology in his famous piece called German Ideology: “Men are the producers of their conceptions, ideas, etc… Consciousness can never be anything else than conscious existence, and the existence of men is their actual life-process. If in all ideology men and their circumstances appear upside-down as in a camera obscura, this phenomenon arises just as much from their historical life-process as the inversion of objects on the retina does from their physical life-process.”

There is a lot to understand in this quote. Let’s break it down.

First, men are the producers of their conceptions, ideas, etc… this is essentially what I was explaining earlier, that people (you can ignore the gendered language Marx was using, which was normal during his time) ultimately attach meanings to what they see in the world, which are usually informed by value systems other people, like your family and your friends, taught to them as “normal” and expected.

Second, ideology is a word that Marx uses to explain why different classes of people exist. Marx saw the world as consisting of two classes, proletariats (working class) and bourgeoisie (business owners or managers). For Marx, the working class people were exploited by the business owners and he understood this as the result of a collective problem whereby power of business owners was a product of a collective survival of working class people based on wages through work. He saw this as a gross imbalance of power and wanted to understand why this imbalance persisted to the extent that it did during his time.

Third, a camera obscura is one of the first devices developed for the recording of images, right around Marx’s time. It works by completely blocking all light from a room, with the exception of a very small hole. After enough time passes, you can sit in the room and after your eyes adjust, an image of the world becomes refracted onto the wall opposite the hole and this image is an exact upside-down replica of what you would see if you were to put your eye to the hole from inside the room and look out onto the world. This is in fact how cameras work today, and it is how you see the world, literally with your eyes. Since your eye works with a refracted image onto your retina, the image becomes re-oriented to the correct version by your brain, which is connected to your eye through various nerves. You can learn more about the camera obscura through this cool Youtube video.

But I digress. Marx is saying that as images appear upside down and distorted on your retina and in a camera obscura, ideology also distorts peoples’ images of the world. This is because of peoples’ historical life-processes, which basically means the way groups of people have historically come to organize themselves and economically sustain themselves.

So you’re probably asking yourself, how does all of this tie in to UBC?

UBC is an education institution, which means that it requires a relatively large number of students to want to go there for their education each year. Universities need to address a large number of needs today in order to stay competitive. Some of these include employment opportunities for students after graduation, development of research and critical thinking skills, and student clubs and societies so that students get bored on campus. All of these will ultimately involve a great deal of time and organization on the part of someone, whether it be students, staff, or faculty and whether this work is paid or unpaid.

The “I am UBC” slogan is a great way to involve students in the institution’s branding. It attaches the university to the student’s identity, and it is a very clever way to get students to attach themselves and identify with the university. In doing so, it sets the tone and market demand for the university for years to come. It also means that a great deal of labour that the university depends on, such as student organizations, orienting new students to the university’s policies and procedures, and navigation of the university bureaucracy, can all become sought after forms of participation for students since they identify with the university in a way that is meaningful to them.

With the advent of social media, I am UBC has become #IamUBC. Try searching it on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram. You’ll see breathtaking images of ocean and mountains as a backdrop to the Rose Garden area, or you’ll see fresh fruit and vegetables being grown at the UBC Farm. You may also see tudor style architecture, shiny and interesting museum exhibits, or First Nations symbols showcased on these feeds. All of these are representations of the UBC brand that the university- and the people who attach such meanings to it (such as students like yourself) have reproduced over the recent weeks, months, and years.

It is time to critically engage with #IamUBC at events like Imagine Day. This year, Imagine Day was overshadowed by a feisty rainstorm that ended up drenching festivities by the afternoon. I remember tabling for a student organization, Sociology Students’ Association. I enjoy what I do and I love interacting with students, new and established, in learning about their interests and putting on events engaging with social issues. It was participating in Imagine Day this year in this unique role that really made me think about my own role as a kind of representative of a certain part of the university to incoming Arts students this year. We had to “compete” with other clubs for students’ attention and curiosity. We ended up renting a button machine (which was the highlight of our table) in order to capitalize on students’ attention just to remain relevant in the sea of tables and booths. All of this is a part of the process of reproducing the I am UBC brand.

I remember seeing a friend of mine working at one of the tables and she seemed rather unhappy. After we chatted for a bit, she told me that she was actually an executive of one of the other student associations, but since she is doing an internship for one of the organizations on campus, she had to stay at that group’s booth instead of the one she identified with more. This is a demonstration of Marx’s concept of camera obscura, because it shows that peoples’ conception of things, like UBC or Imagine Day, is a product of their participation in and therefore attachment to certain ideas and values that make up institutions and organizations. In the case of UBC, it is the idea of personal development, achievement, and redefinition that all students are looking for as they go through a life stage or life transition into adulthood. The university profits from this arrangement of student identification, likely because students see a kind of freedom, or potential freedom, of this kind of identification. To see beyond the fuzzy images associated with #IamUBC and consider the ways you participate in UBC campus activities and organizations contributes to the university’s success means an ability to critically engage with who pays or profits from institutions like UBC.