A Reflection on Reflection 對反思的反思

My identities are complex. They keep changing and shifting focuses depending on context. And They should always be intersectional.

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“my feminism will be intersectional or it will be bullshit.” – Flavia Dzodan

Reading this quote on Facebook today made me think of my positionality in relation to the #Ferguson issue. The jury officially announce that the white male police, Darren Wilson, face no charge shooting 18-year-old black citizen Michael Brown‬ to death on August 9th in Ferguson, Missouri, United States. Started from Ferguson, a city with a large black community, solidarity events and protests spread over the U.S. and some parts of the world, many tagged as #BlackLivesMatter. Learning from Alice Goffman’s lecture earlier this semester that in low-income black communities, young men have to face policing, arresting, and killing in their everyday life in the U.S., I do not just see the shooting and the jury decision as a single issue but a systematic problem that put the African-American ethnic groups in fundamental disadvantage and injustice. 

Why does this disturb me and why it is relevant to me? Because in this context I quickly see myself as a person of colour in a white-settler society (Razak, 2002) that is established upon white privilege.  At the same time, along the line of Razak’s intesectional approach to space, gender, and race, I am aware that my position as an ally with the #BlackLivesMatter protest is not simply related to my skin colour, but a self that intersects with multi-dimensional identities such as in ethnicity, gender, and social location. To expand my thoughts I think it is good to start with this tweet:

#Ferguson

[first, let me try to type in my thoughts in Chinese]

這幾行字簡約卻充滿爆炸性,因為其啓發我將種族和性別不公聯繫在一起。這在我看來,也是交織性女權主義的魅力。

[Then, I translate them into English]

These few lines are simple but explosive, since they push me to further see ethnic and gender oppression together (in a white-dominated patriarchal system). To me, this is the charm of intersectional feminism.

[as I learn sociology through an English-speaking education, I soon run out of words in Chinese and return my reflection to the English thinking mode]

To be sure, paralleling the experience of the “black man” and “girl” in contrast to the experience of the “white boy” does not mean that we should draw an equation mark between the two. My experience being a Chinese woman is very different from that of a black man. But the experiences of the blamed and the redeemed connect me to the movement of black people’s rights.

When I was taking SOCI 101 sociological theories in another university, I was confused about the feminist theory because I saw it as a combination of all kinds of social justice arguments. To be honest, I was not impressed at all and I came to resist the “feminism” label. I had negative feeling towards feminism as feminists make claims over almost every issue on injustice. To simply put, I was tired of seeing the label “feminism” everywhere. At the same time, “feminism” was a term that I often associated with the images of radical men-haters and naked FEMEN.

But now, when I am reflecting on how I have been reflecting on feminism during these few months, I see the value of feminism that intersects every social components together. Which means, nothing should be explained merely by race, gender, or class, etc. — it should be explained with these all together.

I first heard of the term “intersectionality” from the courses offered by the UBC Gender, Race, Sexuality, Justice program. I got to talk about it further through learning about it in some public lectures, and interacting with my friends who self-identified as feminists (mostly male!). This semester is very special to me in terms of the process of feminist self-realization. I never publicly claimed to be a feminist until I take SOCI433, which provides me with an intersectional approach to see my identities and other’s identities. The classroom goes beyond the physical space into the virtual space (Facebook group) of public discourses, and allows me discuss feminist topics and issues such as Emma Watson’s UN speech and rape cultural on UBC campus with friends and classmates.  More importantly, throughout reading feminist writings by Azaia, bell hooks, and Beckie, I realize that feminism is a way of thinking of the world intersectionally, and acknowledging our own limited but international perspectives. For example, early in Azaia’s thesis, she acknowledges that her writing comes from a perspective of a white urban working-class female (2014, p. 20). In bell hooks writing, she also make it clear of her positionality as a black female.

After all, in this post I touched lots of bits and pieces of my identities. You may think there is no “theme” or a major theory. But this is exactly my point. In this post I try to briefly show you how my identities are intersected:

  • my gender intersects with my ethnicity,  which make me an ally of the #BlackLivesMatter;
  • Chinese as my first language (everyday, reflective) intersect with English as my second language (academic, critical, reasoning)
  • my past perception of feminism intersects with my current experiences of feminism.
  • my social position as a UBC sociology student intersects with my gender, class, race, and other identities, which provide me with resource and access to critical-thinking education and further identity discovery.

My identities are complex. They could not, and should not, be reduced into a single one.

Reference:

Razack, S. (2002). Race, space, and the law. Toronto: Between the Lines.

Windwraith, A. (2014). Deconstructing the Language of Rape.

hooks, b. (2000). Feminism Is for Everybody: Passionate Politics.

Who am I not when I am?

I am always very reflexive (when the occasion calls for it — which is almost always, well, always) when I put myself into a discourse or a discussion. That means I am always, as I was trained to be, very aware of who I am and why my perspective would be what it is.  For example, this is something I wrote for one of my papers for a university theory class:

Before I proceed with my essay, I will first take this time to position myself socially and be reflexive about my specific background. I am doing this as an exercise to act on my awareness that my personal subject-position has an effect in the production of knowledge that I will be endeavoring.

I am a Third-Year Arts student at the University of British Columbia majoring in Sociology. I am a Filipino-Chinese male who, at the moment, resides in Canada with a permanent resident status.

I am writing this essay with two main agendas: to fulfill an academic requirement for my Sociology class, and to be socially relevant – I am writing to bring attention to the presence of taken-for-granted realities that are responsible for propagating and perpetuating the inequality and oppression very much present today.  (Arlantico 2013)

That’s the kind of awareness I have for my positionality — or, in other words, I am very much aware of the different identities I have and how they present themselves.  For the most part, I always try to be as exhaustive as I can be when I position myself. TRY being the operative word, which means there are identities I often leave out — either accidentally or intentionally.

However, in my two-year stay at UBC so far, I’ve been to two distinct events when I was (almost) completely ONLY ONE THING: a UBC Student. 

In September of 2013 I was a new transfer student to UBC — and of course, that meant I was attending Imagine Day. Imagine day was really fun. Tons of people everywhere, I get to see a really beautiful campus that I can call mine [sic], I’m meeting a lot of new and interesting people, and it marks a new chapter in my life.  I was still very aware of who I was throughout that day though — I was a transfer student, I was a sociology major, I am an immigrant, and I am visibly Asian — as excited as I was to use the hashtag #IAMUBC, I was completely aware that I am not JUST a student at UBC, I am more distinct than that.

BUT… this happened:

and this…


Yup. PEP RALLY happened at the end of the day. The Thunderbird stadium, which can seat about 3500 people, was full of loud cheers, music, and a lot of of other really REALLY happy noise! I was in a sea of people all cheering for UBC! There were different rousing speeches made by different pertinent people in the university whose pertinence did not matter as much to me as their very inspiring speeches on #IAMUBC and how WE are UBC! Then there was an alumnus who did spoken word poetry on getting a degree, a couple of musical acts followed, and a WHOLE lot of cheering happened. Every faculty had their own color, own cheer, and occupied a distinct space in the auditorium; however, there was no other competing feel in the air: WE ARE UBC STUDENTS AND WE ARE DAMN PROUD THAT WE ARE.

That was instance one. The first instance in my UBC stay where I was nothing else other than — I AM UBC.

Fast forward a full year and a month — October 2014, this happened:

AMS AGM 2014

 

For the first time in 40 years, we have quorum.

Because of the proposed increased international student tuition and residence fees, UBC students banded together to show that we are AGAINST IT. (If you want to know more about the proposed fee increases, here is an article on The Talon about it, here is an article on The Ubyssey on the international tuition fee increase, and here is one on the residence fee increase also from The Ubyssey). For the first time in 40 years, YES, FORTY years, the AMS held an AGM and we had quorum — which means any and every decision made in that meeting was binding, WHICH in turn means that the AMS can say that the decisions and stances agreed upon during the meeting are representative of the whole student body.

Could you imagine being part of that? I was overwhelmed by the overall atmosphere in that room. Students were politically active! It did not matter who you were, at that very moment, you are a UBC student standing up for yourself and your fellow UBC student!

At that moment, I was nothing else but a UBC student — I am a student, I want my voice heard, and I am voting on these issues!

Reflecting back, the 2013 Pep Rally and the 2014 AMS AGM were two instances where I was solely a UBC student — which means, those were two instances where I was completely devoid of any other identity and social position other than those afforded to me as a UBC student.

Putting the spotlight on something inevitably casts shadows on some other things. Spotlighting my identity as a UBC student effectively erased all my other identities — at least in the brief moments when I had the spotlight on that particular identity. Often it’s not really about identifying with multiple things; I suggest that tackling identities — whether it be in your daily life or in an academic paper or class — should always be done by looking at the context through which those identities arose.

What does this mean? It means individuals and their (well, OUR) identities are products of the tension between the social and the personal — or as CW Mills will put it, the public and the private. Basically, following Mills’ idea of how personal troubles and never detached from public issues, we can never see ourselves apart from the social context within which we stand. That context could be as constant as your personal family history (where you were born and where you were raised) to something as fleeting as which seat on the bus you took and who sat beside you.

What am I getting at? Two things:

1. Our identities are closely tied in with our lived experiences and the contexts within which those experiences came about and are rooted in. That means, our identities are formed and understood through different contexts, AND the different expressions of our various identities are also understood through different contexts.

2. Every time a specific – -or some specific — identity of ourselves take the spotlight, some other identities are muted. Often, this is based on the context within which you express that certain identity.

So the next time you start your statement with “I am…” think of all the “I am not…” that come with it.

References:

CW Mills, The Promise (1959)

Meanwhile at the Frat’s: TFM’s and Identity

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The Greek system (fraternities and sororities) is a massive North American college institution with strong ties to UBC.  Beta house located at Wesbrook Mall, was kind enough to allow me to spend some time visiting the house, getting to know their members, traditions and culture.  I began my investigation by attending a preliminary RUSH event, which consisted of current members meeting and touring potential recruits around the house.  My primary purpose was to build some rapport with the Beta Brothers and get to know their culture as a frat and see what such a collective identity looks like. One of the defining features of the fraternity system which I think most of its appeal to outsiders originates from, is the relationship between tradition and secrecy.  Much of the recruitment, initiation and governing traditions of Beta function only through a collective code of confidentiality.  While the brothers were very open and anxious to chat and teach me about their history and culture certain questions are never given a straight answer. However what I believe sets fraternities apart from other campus groups is language.  There is such a decisive and exclusive vocabulary within the house, I found myself constantly asking for clarification.  The whole Greek system in general works on a specified vocabulary, as well as the Beta brothers specifically use their own unique plethora of slang terms.  However while the language can easily work to alienate outsiders they held very little reservations on getting me up to speed on some of their favourite words and phrases.  What I found particularly interesting was that while their language worked to set them apart from other groups it also worked to establish their identity and provide them with a space to respond to the ever present negative frat stigma. Total Frat Move according to urbandictionary.com is an expression “used in response or to describe an action of a male who exudes all things fraternity”.  Beta house specifically described TFM’s as a response to the negative stereotypes and stigma that they feel is undeservingly projected onto them.  This stigma they feel is justified, by the greater student population, solely based on their membership to the Greek system.  If you are at a loss for an image of stereotypical frat guy, please watch Jimmy Tatro’s YouTube video.  As one brother explained to me that he could not even begin a conversation with a girl without her immediately assuming he was only speaking to her having premeditated their night would end in bed.  This was revealed to me with much frustration and even as a sort of plea.  The boys were constantly referring to me as “the snitch” or “investigator”, even though I reassured them that while the underlying purpose of my presence was for a class project I primarily had a general interest in what frat culture looked like from the inside.  There was a definitely a hint of defensiveness regarding my presence. While testosterone levels in the house are high and the language utilized is full of acronyms and exclusive slang, you could not help but admit there was a definite self-deprecating sense of humour  in everything they did.  They are far more self-aware of their stigma, then they think people realize.   They explained that as opposed to doing everything in their power to reverse this “douchey” stereotype they chose to exemplify it.  This exemplification of the frat boy stereotype is accomplished by TFM-ing.  Instead of just going to gym in tank tops with their pre-work out in hand and keep it to themselves like any other tank top wearing gym going frat boy would do, they make a game of it.  One frat brother explained to me that sometimes they’ll set up a bench press in the front yard and have guys “work out” as people walk past on their way to class or getting off the bus.  The brothers revel in the exasperated expressions, the eye rolling, and snickering they receive from onlookers.  Simply put, they find it hilarious, less out of how ridiculous they are actually acting but hilarious in the fact that people think they’re taking themselves seriously.  Such activities bring the boys together in a sort of ‘us’ versus ‘them’ mentality, or at least that helps validate the behaviour on the surface.  They’d rather spend their energy giving people the fuel they want as opposed to fighting against a deeply engrained reputation. BETA house gathers a lot of their identity from playing along with what everyone thinks about them.  To quote Goffman, “it is this against something that the self  can emerge.”  The BETA brothers to an extent have flipped this on its head.  It is a sort of acceptance of people’s assumptions and the exaggeration of what people want frat guys to be that has driven BETA’s common identity.  The find camaraderie  in being the butt of people’s jokes.  Total frat moves give them the self awareness to see what other people assume.

 

KC

References: Goffman, E. (1961). Asylums: Essays on the social situation of mental patients and other inmates. Garden City, N.Y: Anchor Books.

This, I know, I am Not… But what am I? – Goffman’s explanation of how individuals define themselves

As a sociology major, I find myself constantly asking questions about myself, and the things I do. What do I identify with as an individual, and how do I fit in with others? Why do I fit in with certain individuals better than others? How do we figure out who we are amongst all of the other individuals around us? Are we all different? What qualities do we share? What social situations do I feel comfortable in, and which are out of my comfort zone?

Recently I came across a quote, which has inspired even more questions to flow through my mind. The quote can be found in “Asylums,” by Erving Goffman, and it highlights yet another way of thinking about individuals in society. His definition of individuals is as follows…

“A stance-taking entity, a something that takes a position somewhere between identification with an organization and opposition to it, and is ready at the slightest pressure to regain its balance by shifting its involvement in either direction. It is thus against something that the self can emerge…” (502)

One idea that I find myself constantly returning to is an exercise that my SOCI100 Prof used, which was meant to promote us to think sociologically about our environment. He asked us to think about a line up for something, like a Starbucks, and the different social cues that surround it. This prompted me to realize that I have always been fascinated with observing people following (or breaking) social cues and interacting with their environment. I have often found myself ‘people watching’ at Starbucks, and elsewhere. This exercise really got me thinking about all the sociological thoughts that I have, but had never identified them as such prior to taking my first sociology course.

Returning back to the Goffman quote, I had previously never contemplated the idea of defining myself against something I am not. After considering this idea, however, I realized that I am able to apply it to my Starbucks adventures. The Goffman quote prompted me to rethink some of the questions I have previously asked myself about line-ups. Why do I choose to be polite and follow the social cues that tell me I should wait my turn? I feel confident in saying that I am a fairly polite individual, but how did I come to identify myself as such?

This leads me to the main purpose of this post, which is to discuss how individuals in society approach situations, and how the decisions we make in these situations can define how we are seen in society, and how we identify ourselves. How each individual’s socialization guides them through their daily decisions.

More specifically I want to talk about UBC Clubs Days, and how individuals decide which clubs they are interested in, and which to avoid. Some of the behaviour students exhibited highlights the relevance of Goffman’s definition of individuals to the daily life of a UBC student.

This year I had the opportunity to “table” for two clubs on Clubs Days, one academically inclined, and one socially inclined. It was interesting to see how some individuals would scoff at the thought of joining an academic club, whilst others were uninterested with the idea of joining a club that wouldn’t benefit them on their resumes. I heard many statements beginning with “I am not”… “I’m not really interested in a social club,” “I’m not really looking for extra work outside class.” Which, in my head, translated into “I am not whatever your club is,” which leads us back go Goffman. These individuals defined themselves against what my clubs had to offer, but this is only one clue into the complexity that is each individual I interacted with during Clubs Days. All I know about those who passed off my clubs is one thing that they are NOT, but I have no idea what they ARE. Why are they not interested in my clubs? Is it because they truly do not want to have a social life? Or is it because they have been socialized to see social clubs a certain way?

…And do they budge in Starbucks line-ups?

I AM interested in my  academic club, but at the same time, I AM NOT interested in focusing solely on my studies when I am faced with so many amazing social opportunities. I line up at Starbucks for fear of being known as that one rude chick that budges because this, I know, I am not. But what AM I? I am polite because I don’t budge… I am a sociology major because I clicked the SSC button… but what else?

References:

Goffman, E. (1961). Asylums: Essays on the social situation of mental patients and other inmates. Garden City, N.Y: Anchor Books.