Life’s full of surprises, some great, and some not so great. What do we do when something comes up that completely shakes up our world? An experience that is so traumatic or negative that even thinking about it can affect our mood and our wellbeing?
In “Making Meaning out of a Negative Experience by self-distancing,” Ethan Kross and Ozlem Ayduk suggest that when thinking back on negative experiences, you should think of them from a “self-distancing” perspective rather than a “self-immersed” perspective (187). They note that people who think back and reflect on negative experiences as if they were a “fly on the wall” rather than reliving the experience, tend to have better short term and long term benefits (187). Kross and Ozlem propose that the “self distancing” perspective causes less strain and can prove to be better for you physiological and psychological health.
Try thinking back to a negative situation in your life and instead of thinking of the experience in your own shoes, try thinking of it in an outside perspective.
For example:
Instead of asking yourself: “Why did I feel this way in this situation?”
Ask: “Why does (your name) feel this way in this situation?”
This method allows you to reflect and think of the “big-picture” and gives you and opportunity for “closure” (187, 188). This is great way to think back on situations where you were sad or angry.
Kross, E., and O. Ayduk. “Making Meaning out of Negative Experiences by Self-Distancing.” Current Directions in Psychological Science 20.3 (2011): 187-91. Web. 20 Oct. 2014.