According to UBC Overview and Facts, students in the 2016/17 school year included 24.0% international students for the Vancouver campus, and 14.4% international students for the Okanagan campus. In other words: if you’re an international student here at UBC, you are far from alone. Being an international student can be lonely at times, even if you’re having an overall terrific time at university. Although times can be smooth, times can be tough, and in order to provide some support for the tougher of times, I have three stories accompanied by pieces of advice from students here at UBC Vancouver. Mia comes from Malaysia, Anna comes from Italy, and Mateo comes from Ecuador. While my sample size is small, I hope that international students coping with feelings of loneliness can learn from the experiences of these three, be offered some advice, or at least, be provided with some experiences to relate to.
Question 1: Thinking back, do you remember how you felt when you first arrived at UBC?
Like many students at UBC, these students have come from all over the globe to create a new life here in Canada. It’s scary and it’s exciting and without surprise, all three students remembered how they felt upon first arriving to Vancouver and in particular, UBC. There is a common recollection of fear and intimidation when first arriving and becoming immersed, yet a calming effect that occurs through the exploration of a new place and the gaining of new friends. As Mia recalls, “I felt very intimidated because I realized I was going to be alone without my parents taking care of me, and the campus was so large. But as soon as I started making friends and saw how beautiful Vancouver is I felt more at home and very, very lucky”. Having “mixed feelings” was common among the three students, as feelings of not knowing what to expect encompassed them. As Mateo recalls, “I was sad and I was excited because I felt so far from home. It wasn’t the same as when I left to another city in Ecuador; if I wanted to go back, what would I do?”
Question 2: During your first year here, did you ever feel lonely?
Both Mia and Anna discussed how they didn’t feel lonely first year, and it wasn’t until second year when they moved off of first year residence that loneliness became more prevalent. As Mia discusses, “I think because I was always around people I never really felt lonely”. Anna also recalls, “I wasn’t lonely, just because I was always with my friends, I shared a room with someone, I met my boyfriend…so I was quite busy in first year”. Mateo diverted from this experience as he describes feeling lonely at times mostly because of the cultural shock. He explains “you have to adapt to this new environment and you have to change a little bit”. He discusses changes one who has lived in Canada all their life may never have to think about, like the modification of conversation and small talk topics. A change like this can may feel small but it easily has the ability to cause one to feel out of place.
Question 3: In what ways have you learned to cope with loneliness over the years?
Like a lot of international students, all three participants have experienced loneliness at some point in their journey here in Vancouver. An overarching theme emerged in coping with loneliness: the prevalence of networks. Like Anna discusses, “Being busy with friends, school, events in general” helped her navigate around occasional feelings of loneliness. She emphasized that simply being busy in general is quite helpful. Mia has a similar response, as she discusses “Even though I don’t have my family around I felt I had a strong support system”. Both Anna and Mia focus on the presence of people around them who are able to support them in times of need or simply being around friends who are important to them. Mateo, being more of an introvert– someone who focuses less on external stimulation and more on internal thoughts– did mention the importance of connections, but in his case it was geared more towards establishing new relationships with people from similar backgrounds. He talks about the occasional need to speak with others in his native language. Mateo mentions many more activities that he would do alone in order to cope with loneliness: go for a walk, go down to wreck beach, explore his passions, etc. He particularly enjoyed learning how to use a DSLR camera and practicing guitar. Also, he discusses “I was reading an article by a professor, he was saying that he was here at UBC and he was having a hard time on campus, and then later he realized he was experiencing depression because he stopped reading. Then I realized that I have also stopped reading the things that I used to read in Ecuador because of my readings for class”. This helped Mateo realize that he needs to continue doing the things he likes, despite the school work he has, for his mental wellbeing.
Question 4: Is there anything you can recommend for first year international students feeling lonely here? Club recommendations, on campus facilities, etc.
Mia talks about how helpful the attendance of the jumpstart program here at UBC was for her. She says “I feel you start off your semester much more confident and with familiar faces you know”. If you haven’t done the jumpstart program or it’s too late for you to do the jumpstart program, she talks about getting involved on campus. “I know it’s definitely intimidating going to club meetings and committing, especially if you’re struggling with studies. I remember in my first year I was really scared but I would just push myself to go and I think that’s why I feel more comfortable applying to things and joining clubs at UBC”.
Anna discusses how helpful the Health Services in Brock Hall and the Wellness Centre have been for her. “You don’t need to have depression or anxiety to go. But if you’re feeling like every time you wake up you kind of feel a bit anxious about the day, theres group sessions to talk about how you’re feeling and it helps you cope with what you’re feeling and realize ‘it’s not just me’”. Alongside staying on top of her mental health, Anna talks about the Model United Nations club and how they’ve provided a tight-knit community for her. Like many other clubs here on campus, they have socials to continue making new friends and events to keep students busy.
Mateo has occasionally worked with the Indigenous Collectives club, and he says “it helped me to connect with more people who share some similar passions”. He hasn’t gotten involved in much else on campus, but he does recommend going off campus and finding people with similar passions there too. He has felt that his music taste, heavy metal, is quite different than a lot of people our age, so he has gone off campus to hang out at bars around town and meet different people who share similar passions with him.
Life as an international student can feel lonely at times, but you are not alone in this. As these three students from Malaysia, Italy, and Ecuador demonstrate, coping with loneliness comes in many different ways and types and I hope that these insights can help guide ways of international students who haven’t yet found their coping mechanisms yet.
For a list of clubs on campus, please visit https://www.campusvibe.ca/campusvibe/campus/cea260f5-8aab-4e11-bccf-fe4a846e62dc
For information on workshops provided by the Wellness Centre, please visit
https://students.ubc.ca/health-wellness/peer-support-wellness-centre/wellness-workshops
For more general information on stress and anxiety management, please visit
https://students.ubc.ca/health-wellness/self-help/stress-anxiety
Written by Alexa Lizotte