Henry Angus must be rolling in his grave. If you aren’t in Commerce, you probably haven’t heard of this referendum/Sauder/Henry Angus/my building/millions of dollars thing that’s been happening. Yeah, we don’t really give a fuck either.
All I was trying to do is to question the instinct to characterize almost anything that happens in relation to elections as “hot”, [BREAKING] news without any verification or reflection.
-Issues That Matter
On a relatively slow media day yesterday – as in, no Bijan ballerina videos – it seems that other VFM outlets and The Media are creating some drahmaz almost as sexy as Lindsay Lohan in Mean Girls. If you’re the type who fancies a classy lay like ourselves, you can always vote for us. Here’s a quick breakdown of yesterday’s stir. Warning: clicking the links may cause you to transport back in time to high school.
Elections Guru vs The Editors
Miss Elections Guru and The Editors over at The Media have been in a bit of an awkward turtle. The Ubyssey wrote an adorable editorial about the Elections Guru, in which she then responded with a professional slap back. BOOYAH, bitches.
Chairman Naylor vs The Boyfriend
Our beloved Chairman Naylor (bowing on bended knee as I type) wrote epic Naylorisms about electoral code and blah blah blah. Then, he apparently had a comment glitch, in which The Boyfriend of Elections Guru posted a long meandering rebuttal. Since comments were not working, he made a Facebook note and tagged various hacks and The Media to get his sexy point across and swoon his beloved lady. Chairman Naylor then responded again. Meow.
Issues That Matter vs Emails That Matter vs Foxy Trout
A Mr. Callow emailed Emails That Matter, Foxy Trout, and the Sex Goddesses about a “hot tip” which was published here and here (we’re lovers of abstinence, personally). The following catfight occurred:
Issues That Matter: Bitches, we heard that long ago.
Kommander Keg: OH SNAP, biatch!
Probable editor of Emails That Matter under a secret name: Good job.
Foxy Trout: Issues That Matter, get your nose out of your ass. You’re just jealous we got the tip, you didn’t report it yo.
Issues That Matter: Here is a long list of things proving that I am correct. You yourself even reported this accidentally. Emails aren’t important, Issues are what really Matters. And Foxy Trout, it is on our page. #journalisticwin
And there you have it kids. Stay tuned for when the CANDIDATES start making waves, sheesh. We’re hoping for a John Edwards mixed with Jamie Lynn scenario, personally.
Catty Unattributed Overheard of the Day:
OMG, I can’t believe Foxtrot broke news.
That said, it’s absolutely true—Foxtrot was the first to let their admiring public know that Pak Ho Leung, relatively unknown Presidential candidate, has been caught prematurely campaigning on Facebook.
What hurts most, of course, is not that they hunted him down first—it’s the bad erection joke they’ve made in their title. DAMN, SON. That’s unicorn-level good/bad. And for that, we’re giving you our Man of the Hour award, Foxtrot Writers. Well done, sirs—and madam.