Three Writing Tips for Unit Two
Organization of Peer Reviews;
Ensure that peer reviews are organized with the same sections of the document you are reviewing:
Create sub-sections with titles for each section of the document you are reviewing.
For example, the Formal Report Proposal is organized by these sections:
- Statement of Problem
The Peer Review should be organized likewise and end with a conclusion that summarizes the review with bullet points indicating necessary revisions. You can see a good example on the Instructor’s Blog:
2. Take out the pronouns & use bullets to organize:
Look what happens to this paragraph when I remove pro-nouns (I, you, me, yours) – and include necessary details:
Statement of Problem
You clearly showed your detailed knowledge to the existing problem in this section. Your expertise really helped me gain understanding to the problem. One recommendation I have in this section is to minimize compound sentences. For example, the second and third sentences can be broken down into “After receiving orders, the servers would first give out verbal orders to the cooks. They then tape the paper bills to the delivery window for reference. This works adequately during down time. However, during busy dinner service, the cooks often get overwhelmed with multiple bills to refer individually.” I find shorter sentences improve readability in a persuasive writing.
Statement of Problem
This section clearly demonstrates in-depth knowledge of the difficulties with the present ordering system at the restaurant and expertise in the POS system.
Expression: Minimizing compound sentences will improve readability and persuasiveness.
- For example: “After receiving orders, the servers would first give out verbal orders to the cooks. They then tape the paper bills to the delivery window for reference. This works adequately during down time. However, during busy dinner service, the cooks often get overwhelmed with multiple bills to refer individually.”
- Suggestion for rewriting: “Orders are provided to cooks verbally and with handwritten checks, a workable system sometimes, but not during peak hours of service.
3. Include details: avoid generality.
For example: “This assignment is impressive and complete. All sections are thoughtfully composed with the appropriate amount of detail and organized to flow logically. Your proposal effectively illustrates a pressing concern and introduces a framework to directly address it.”
- “A pressing concern” is too general. Rewrite: Study rooms are over-crowed and lacking in resources
- “A framework” is too general. Rewrite: solutions for expanding the study spaces ..