TO: Morgan Brandt
FROM: Ranjit Dhaliwal
DATE: September 27, 2019
SUBJECT’: Peer Review of your Expanded Definition of “Socapex” on Our Team Forum
I have reviewed the first draft of your expanded definition of the term “Socapex”. You have done a great job in providing insight into a specialized item with great technical information. I would like to offer the following suggestions:
Audience and Jargon: Your expanded definition contains a good amount of technical information but it also leaves readers like myself who have no knowledge in electrical connectors wondering what some of the terms meant. For instance, under the heading “Where is it used?” the terms “stage rig” and “power distro” could be better clarified. Also, under “How do you use it?” the reference to “breaking out circuits from Soca” and the term “splays” are hard to understand for non-familiar readers. A less technical explanation of what these terms are would help readers better understand the use of a socapex.
Detail: In the section “What is a Socapex”, you describe the connecter as having 19 pins but it fails to mention why there are 19 pins or what there specifically meant for. An example of a more detailed explanation could include: “19 pins which consist of 6 hot pins, 6 neutral pins, 6 ground pins and a central pin which is used to aid alignment with the end of another connector”. Also, in your example under the heading “Precautions to Take?”, you describe how no more than 16 Amps of load should be applied to a 20 Amp circuit but it left me as a reader unsure of how to determine how much of a current load there is. An example of how many amps certain light fixtures or equipment are would help readers understand how they can estimate if there over the 80/20 rule.
Grammar: Although the overall extended definition contained great use of grammatically correct writing, I noted the following error: Under “Where is it Used?”, the phrase “which provides fulfills many power demands” needs to be corrected.
I hope my review and feedback is considered helpful to you during the revision of your writing. Your extended definition is surely on the right path to providing a clear and concise explanation of a unique term. I look forward to seeing how you integrate the above recommendations into your writing. Please let me know if you require further clarification or have any questions.
Link to Defintion:
https://blogs.ubc.ca/engl301-99a-2019wa/2019/09/23/what-is-socapex/
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