To: Eric Chang, ENG 301 Team Member
From: Erfan Ahmed, ENG 301 Team Member
Date: October 15, 2019
Subject: Peer review of formal report proposal by Eric Chang
Thank you for a well written, informative proposal regarding solving staffing issues for Richmond Aquatics special needs program. The proposal provides a systemic approach that explains the statement of the problem and is complimented by a viable solution that can be used to overcome the issue. Accordingly, the following is areas of strengths and possible recommendations to implement into your report.
First Impressions:
The proposal provides a detailed explanation of the ongoing problem, and a proposed solution that will benefit both new incoming volunteers and the special needs children accessing the swimming program with the Minoru Aquatic Centre.
Organization:
The format of the proposal was written according to guidelines and provides sufficient information that illustrates the nature of the problem and is easily comprehendible.
Introduction:
The proposal provides a detailed explanation of the problem that is currently ongoing. Although you have mentioned that there is a need for substantial increase of swimming instructors that are needed, it might be a good idea to include a reasonable statistic or projected number that will be required to meet the outcome for the proposed solution. The ratio’s that have been provided can be elaborated better if you have projected numbers to better support the case.
Statement of Problem:
The statement of problem paragraph is concise and well written. There are some minor grammatical errors and would recommend checking for errors before submitting your final report. Moreover, some of the information from the introduction section such as explanation regarding ratios of instructors to children accessing the program could be better explained under this section.
Proposed solution:
It is evident that the proposal provides a viable solution that may increase efficiency of the program without jeopardizing any additional costs or rejecting incoming children.
Scope:
The research questions for this proposal are thorough and detailed, and further areas may be analyzed to better support your reasoning:
- What entails the teaching portion of wet hiring process and how does it provide an advantage to prospective instructors in the long run?
Methods:
The primary sources mentioned provides an efficient way to collect data that may reduce skewed responses. However, on a larger scale it may be more efficient to conduct online surveys that will save more time.
Conclusion:
The conclusion provides a summed-up explanation of your intentions for the report and I look forward to reading the final paper.
Sources:
Although you don’t have research publications cited in your proposal, it may be a good idea to ensure that the paper incorporates proper in-text citation and follows MLA or APA style.
Grammar/Spelling:
The following recommendations may help enhance your proposal:
- A final proofread in your report will help minimize grammatical errors
- The use of alternative word choices may help the reader better understand the reasoning. An example of this is in the statement of problem section which states that ‘this lack of instructors then severely handicap the instructor’s ability to teach their students’’.
- Instead of using the term ‘handicap the instructor’s ability to teach’, it might be better to use words such as ‘limit the instructor’s ability to teach their students as well as restrict the number of children we can accept into the program’
Final concluding comments:
Overall, the proposal was very well written and expressed ideas in great detail. I hope the following recommendations can be used to better support your final paper and I wish you good luck in the next couple of weeks finishing your final paper.
Link to Eric Chang’s research proposal: https://blogs.ubc.ca/engl301-99a-2019wa/2019/10/10/eric-chang-formal-report-proposal/
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