TO: Connor Runnalls
FROM: Huntley Bain
DATE: October 16th, 2019
SUBJECT: Proposal Report Peer Review
I have completed the peer review of your research proposal. Below you will see my suggestions for improvement as well as the overall review. Looks like there is great potential for this report, I look forward to seeing the final version!
First impressions:
The report is clear and concise and there is clearly extensive background research. Moreover, you have a great amount of personal experience and connection with the community. There were a couple of areas that were difficult to follow that I go into detail below.
Organization:
Report is organized and has food flow. It is formatted nicely and clear to follow.
Introduction:
Lays out the background information nicely. Provides the reader with a general overview of the problem.
Statement of the Problem:
There is clearly an extensive amount of research done for this section however it is tough to follow. A proposed solution would be to break up certain sentences rather than putting multiple facts in one sentence. This sentence was particular tough to follow;
“On average, from their 44 locations and 47,776 animals helped, averages out 1085 animals helped on $860,000 (with the assumption that all is equal, which it isn’t quite as simple realistically).”
Breaking it down into parts would be beneficial.
Proposed solution:
The proposed solution is clear: raise awareness for these organizations. The proposed solutions are a good starting point but would be better if there was more detail. For example, how would the community events be executed and what kind of social media would be used?
Scope:
The scope is realistic and focuses on the main issues. One issue may be the lack of resources held by these organizations as they may not have the time or ability to implement these changes.
Methods:
Methods are clear and are a great way to collect initial data. One issue may be finding time to interview these individuals as due to the lack of funding they tend to be stretched pretty thin.
Grammatical:
No grammatical errors were found. Only suggestion is improving sentence structure which is outlined above.
Overall, it looks like you have very well thought out and impressive proposal. This report could be beneficial for small-scale humane societies and could help thousands of animals every year. I hope my suggestions were beneficial and I look forward to reading the final report.
Please reach out to me if you have any questions or concerns.
Link to Connor’s Proposal: https://blogs.ubc.ca/engl301-99a-2019wa/2019/10/11/report-proposal-for-increasing-awareness-of-small-humane-societies/
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