Peer Review of Usman’s Memo for Writing with YOU Attitude

To:              Usman Zahoor 
From:         Joyce Wu
Date:           November 24, 2019
Subject:     Peer Review of Memorandum Demonstrating YOU Attitude

 
Hi Usman, 

Thank you for submitting this memo with useful tips and tricks for attaining desired email responses. Please see the following for comments and some suggested edits. 

First impression: The memo is well written with You-Attitude displayed throughout the memo. 

Introduction: The introduction is polite and concise. Well done. 

List of tips and tricks: The tips and tricks are listed in bullet points and examples are listed with indented bullet points. This format makes the suggested tips and tricks easy to read. The provided tips address directly at areas for improvement and are detailed with specific examples. Pronouns are tactfully eluded and imperative verbs are replaced with ‘ing’ verbs. Well done.

Conclusion: The conclusion is friendly and to the point. 

Writing style: The memo displays a professional tone throughout. Respect for the reader’s intelligence is also displayed with the use of conversational speech. The pronoun “you” appears only in the introduction and conclusion to make a positive impression.  

Grammar: Overall, the memo shows correct grammar usage. 

Comments and suggested edits: 

1. A minor edit to the 2nd bullet point is suggested. By moving the example to an indented bullet point can enhance the established format.  
   • “Maintaining email etiquette
     • such as a concise subject line (with course number and intended topic of discussion), using a student email, and signing off with a full name and student number”
2. Reinforcing the You-Attitude by emphasizing the positive. 
   • “If you have any questions, please contact me at…”

Overall impression: This memo is very well done. Each section is clearly spaced out, so readers can still easily digest the memo without subheadings. You-Attitude is demonstrated throughout the memo, and the suggested email correspondence tips for Evan clearly address areas for improvement. I hope these suggestions are helpful. If you have any questions, please contact me at joyce.wu@ubc.ca. 

Link to Usman’s memo: Memorandum Demonstrating YOU Attitude