Peer Review of Adrienne Yap’s Application Package

To: Adrienne Yap

From: Usman Zahoor

Date: December, 16, 2019

Subject: Peer Review of Application Package

Hi Adrienne, 

I have reviewed your application package and included my notes below. Overall, it seems like a very strong application. It clearly demonstrates how well suited you would be for the role.  Your writing was concise and effective, and you letters (both cover and requests for reference) were well written. There were only minor things to recommend for improvement like formatting.  


Attachment of Advertisement


  • Ad is high quality, readable
  • Clearly from a job site
  • Includes reference with citation
Areas of Improvement:

  • For future reference, consider adding a bolded, centered heading to inform readers what section the attachment falls under

Cover Letter to Beyond Marketing


  • Very impressive that you found the specific name of the person reading the cover letter
  • Skills and abilities are laid out well in the body paragraphs
  • Cover letter demonstrates knowledge in the area of desired employment
  • Cover letter describes specific abilities with experiences, rather than buzzwords; demonstrating what the candidate can do, rather than just re-listing what was said on resume. 

Areas of Improvement:

  • Including a brief sentence about skills and abilities in the opening paragraph sets hiring managers up for further description of qualifications
  • No need to capitalize “A” in “a UBC service”
  • Hiring managers skim through cover letters, getting straight to the point maximizes time
  • Addressing relevant job experiences is fine, rather than have introductory paragraphs (specifically, the first two sentences in paragraph two)  

Tailored Resume


  • Formatting is unique, well-suited for a social-media/marketing role
  • Interesting way to showcase how specific courses shape skills/abilities
  • Including data for Vice adds to credibility (engagement numbers, % increase in event attendance and service use)
Areas of Improvement:

  • Not entirely sure if the formatting adheres to the textbook requirements
  • Formatting error under Coursework section (indent bullet)
  • Several extra spaces identified throughout the resume (ex: the address)

Letter of Request for Reference to Ashley Steele


  • Good blend of personal connection and formal voice

Areas of Improvement:

  • May be unnecessary to include the option to contact over social media

Letter of Request for Reference to Rachele Benjamin


  • Outlines why Rachele should provide a reference very well, by drawing on how you dealt with difficult situations

Areas of Improvement:

  • Formatting issue with extra spaces (last line of 2nd paragraph)
  • Merging 2nd and 3rd paragraph together makes more sense than separating them OR mering the 3rd and 4th paragraphs

Letter of Request for Reference to Tristan Wheeler


  • To the point and personal
  • Well written and warm 
  • Short, but effective

Areas of Improvement:

  • Minimizing blank space before the reference request begins creates a more seamless flow
  • Including more of how Tristan has helped shape your writing may help further persuade him to provide a reference
  • Seem to have two closing salutations


Very well done, I have no doubt you would be a strong candidate for the role. You did a great job highlighting how your experiences make you qualified and wrote very articulately. Your resume showcases your creation and writing skills, as well as the interesting and relevant courses you’ve taken. Your cover letter was sincere and passionate, detailing your experiences in a way that demonstrates how effective of a hire you would be. My only points of guidance are to consult the textbook for resume formatting, and include a few more headings to guide readers through the package. There were a few minor grammar errors, but I had to look twice for them. I enjoyed reading this application and it has surely inspired me to read over my own and consider adding some elements of yours. 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *