Peer Review of Andree Coschizza’s Application Package


Date:       December 16, 2019

TO:          Andree Coschizza, Team BEAD member of ENGL 301

FROM:    Emily Leung, Team BEAD member of ENGL 301

Subject:   Peer Review of Andree Coschizza’s Application Package


Dear Andree,

Thank you for the opportunity to review your application package for the position of Theoretical Physics Research Summer Internship at the Perimeter Institute for Theoretical Physics. Your application is well-supported by the various work, volunteering and academic experiences, and demonstrates your rich understanding in theoretical physics. Overall, your application is outstanding in terms of professionalism and clear organization. It can further benefit from emphasizing the relevance of your experience to the internship requirement. The following are some comments and suggestions for improving the application package:



Job advertisement

  • A suitable, current, and career-relevant job advertisement is referenced
  • Includes an MLA documentation showing the source of the advertisement
  • The job advertisement is appropriate for this assignment.
  • Adding the date of accessing the site can complete the MLA citation.

Cover letter

  • Includes name and contact information with a professional email address
  • Contains an appropriate date and is left-aligned
  • Consists of the correct contact information and name of the employer
  • Includes a subject line (“Re:” line) with the position title
  • Includes a closing line, signature (digital or in ink), and printed name
  • The font is appropriate, and text is well balanced on the page
  • Appropriate date and correct contact information are included.
  • The font is appropriate and easy to read. Great job!
  • The “UBC Science Co-op” header is used in the cover letter but not in other documents. Standardizing them can enhance consistency throughout the package.
  • Including a subject line can remind the hiring manager of which position the application is for.
  • Adding a signature is required for a formal cover letter.
  •    Names the job and where it was advertised
  • Articulates interest in and knowledge of the organization
  • Summaries 2-3 relevant skills and strengths that are developed in the body paragraphs
  • The position for which the cover letter is for and the interest in the position are clearly stated. Great job!
  • Introducing the skills and work experiences relevant to the job in the introduction can capture the reader’s attention and encourage them to proceed reading.
Body paragraphs
  • Includes the most relevant skills/experience
  • Uses the STARR formula (situation, task, action, result, relevance) when elaborating an experience
  • Provides detailed examples to illustrate each skill
  • Explains the results and uses numbers when appropriate
  • Relates skills and experiences back to job descriptions
  • Arranges sentences in paragraphs logically
  • Excellent details regarding your experiences in theoretical physics. All of the selected experiences speak to the research internship projects listed in the advertisement.
  • Numbers are used to strengthening your accomplishment statement.
  • Establishing a clear connection between your experience and the internship requirement can further demonstrate your suitability for the job. This can be done by using the exact wordings in the posting. For example, revising “My ability to communicate ideas effectively to large groups, and to listen to feedback will allow me to excel in group research projects during the two-week summer school.”
  • Stating the course name for PHYS 210 can give the readers an idea of what that course is about, in case they are not familiar with it.
Closing paragraph
  • Thanks the employer for their time
  • Emphasizes interest in the position
  • Your skills and personal traits are nicely summarized to reiterate your ability to excel in the position. Well done.
  • A thank you statement to the employer is included.


Format and organization
  • Includes an appropriate amount of white space on the edges and between each write-up.
  • Provides correct contact information, including a professional email address
  • Includes all parts of a resume as identified in the Textbook (i.e. contact information, career objectives, education, work experience, personal data and interest, references)
  • Varies parts or organized either chronologically or functionally
  • Tailors to the specific job
  • The resume is completed with all essential information listed chronologically. It is easy to follow and clear.
  • The format of the resume mostly follows the examples in the textbook, with efforts made to personalize it. It looks clean and eye-catching overall speaking.
  • Adding a “career objectives” statement at the beginning of the resume can show your understanding of the type of work the company does and the position needs to be filled.


Contact information
  • Includes address, professional email address, and phone number
  • The same header as the cover letter is used for consistency. Great job.
  • Information is complete, with the addition of a link to the LinkedIn portfolio.
  • Using a professional email address (e.g. UBC alumni email) is preferable for a formal job application.
  • Education is presented in reverse chronological order (if applicable).
  • Includes the name of the school, degree completed, year completed, and your major and minor
  • Includes courses that are relevant to the job
  • Includes class rank or grade point average if favourable
  • Information regarding education is complete.
  • Including a brief narrative for each relevant course that states your grade if favourable, projects you worked on, and skills you gain can reinforce your suitability for the position.
Skills and qualification
  • Lists skills/qualifications indicated in the job description
  • Skills/qualifications are connected to a particular job, volunteering, or academic experience


  • All of the skills listed are relevant for conducting research in the field of theoretical physics and completing projects during the summer school program. Well done.
  • Detailed explanations and specific examples for each skill are provided to demonstrate the understanding of theoretical physics. The use of technical terms is useful in this section.
  • Elaborating on the general skills can create a stronger statement for your abilities. For example, what experience demonstrates that you can work both independently and in group settings?
  • Explicitly narrating how those skills are obtained, for example, “constructing AC/DC circuits through a lab project for XXX class,” can provide the readers with some context for your capabilities.
Work experience
  • Includes a job title, name and city of the employer, and employment period
  • Describes the exact duties for each job
  • Uses accomplishment statements to explain skills developed through each task and job


  • Adding the location for each employer can showcase the wide-ranged and international experience you have had.
  • Rather than merely stating the job duties, rephrasing the bullets for each experience to accomplishment statements can highlight your strengths and differentiate you from other potential competitors.  An accomplishment statement follows the following formula: verb + task = result.
  • Using the right tenses for experiences gained at different periods; past tense for experiences gained previously and present tense for current experiences.
Volunteer experience
  • Includes the title, name and city of organization, and volunteering period
  • Describes the exact duties for each volunteering
  • Uses accomplishment statements to explain skills developed through each task and volunteering experience.
  • Information regarding volunteering experience is complete.
  • Explaining the relevance of the volunteering experiences at the Center for Children’s Health to the job posting can further showcase your capability for the position.
  • Lists extracurricular activities relevant to the given position
  • Explains why the extracurricular activities are relevant
  • Detailed information about each extracurricular activity is included.


Award and achievements
  • Lists awards relevant to the given position
  • ·Explain why the awards are relevant
  • Impressive achievements listed on the resume!
Hobbies and interests
  • Lists interests and hobbies relevant to the given position
  • Explain why the hobbies and interest are relevant
  • Great description of hobbies and interests for the reader to connect on a personal level.
  • Relevance to the job description (e.g. lessons on hard work and discipline) is established throughout this section.
References request
  • Lists three to five people who have agreed to serve as a reference OR substituted with an “available on request” statement if a separate list included
  •  Adding a comment regarding reference can demonstrate professionalism in the application.

Reference request

Format and organization
  • Follows the formatting of formal letter outlined in the textbook
  • Provides correct contact information, including a professional email address
  • Varies sections of the letter are organized logically
  • Choices for references are appropriate (e.g. from a former supervisor)
  • The header presents contact information clearly and consistently, as with the cover letter and resume.
  • The flow of the letters is smooth and logical.
  • Great choice of potential references that includes previous employer and supervisors who can speak to your skillset and work ethics.
  • Including the position of the recipient is preferable.
  • Adding a clear subject line to provide recipients with an overview of the letter. For example, “Andree Coschizza – reference request.”
  • Adding the postal code in the sender’s address and inside address.
  • Ending with a signed name to the signature block to complete all parts of a formal letter.
  • Keeping one idea to one paragraph can better convey the messages and make the letter easier to read.


  • Introduction: explains to the recipients the need for a reference
  • Includes a polite ask for a positive reference
  • Provides a brief reminder to the recipients of the details of connection (e.g. the dates of employment, the nature of the job, and any unique or outstanding contributions)
  • Includes the deadline to submit references
  • Thanks for the recipients’ assistance in serving as a reference
  • Consists of a copy of the job position, resume/cover letter


  • The purpose of the reference request letters is clearly stated. Further emphasizing the request is for a ‘positive’ reference can ensure the potential response is helpful for the application.
  • Attaching the job description and resume to the letters can provide context to the recipients.
  • Elaborating on the connections with the recipients, for example, what you have learned and accomplished from the experience, allows them to provide a more personal reference.
  • Providing recipients with the deadline for the reference helps them plan their schedule for the phone call/email reference checks accordingly.


Writing Style

  • Uses a clear, concise, and persuasive writing style
  • Uses professional and formal language
  • Uses a positive tone
  • Applies grammar and punctuation conventions consistently and accurately
  • The use of language in all the documents demonstrates professionalism and politeness towards the readers.
  • Applying a positive tone can increase the chance of receiving a response from either a potential reference or the hiring manager. For example, revising “while this is rather unrelated to the position I held at Bridges, I am hoping that you will be able to testify to my work ethics and responsibility in positions of leadership.” (reference request letter)
  • Scanning the entire report with greater attention to grammatical and spelling errors could raise the overall quality of the report. For example,
    • “I believe I have the skills to not only take advantage of such a learning environment, but to also contribute to a research setting.” (cover letter)
    • use of hyphenation in the resume, such as “STEM-focused” and “engineering-based.”

Closing remarks

Overall, it is a strong application package well-supported by a range of experiences. To summarize for you, here is a list of suggested edits:

  • Relating the skills and experience to the requirements and projects in the posting
  • Reviewing the format of the letters with reference to textbook p.340.
  • Using a positive tone throughout the report, especially in the reference request letters

If you have any questions, please feel free to reach me at

Link to Andree’s application package:

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *