To: Ranjit Dhaliwal, ENGL 301 course student
From: Taras Shyp, ENGL 301 course student
Date: November 24, 2019
Subject: Peer Review of Ranjit Dhaliwal`s Writing with YOU Attitude Memo
Dear Ranjit,
Thank you for submitting the memorandum, please see below a peer-review on your memo with some suggestions.
First impression
You provided great guidelines for improving students-professors correspondence, reading which would be beneficial for the undergraduate.
Organization
The memo contains the main parts of official documents and consistent with professional reader-centered writing style. The introduction is concise and states the problem of the memo. The suggestions formed in a bullet list in the body section has short explanations for the reader. The ending emphasizes the role of professional correspondence and contains the writer`s email address for further contact.
Writing style
All parts of the memo written with YOU attitude style and formed in polite to the reader tone. However, the below-followed list has some suggestions to add the memorandum regarding YOU attitude style:
- Decreasing the number of pronouns in the last sentence of introduction will keep the memo out of wordy style
- Replacing imperative verbs in a body section with –ing verbs will help refine the tone of the suggestions and provides informational character of the memo
- Substituting negative emphasis points the reader what can be done and keep the writer in positive emphasis writing style (e.g., `Don’t provide any unnecessary details about your extracurricular activities`, can be rephrased by `Avoiding unnecessary details about extracurricular activities`)
- Using synonyms instead of often used words (e.g, professionalism=qualification, expertise)
Grammar
The memo created in a conversational language and is easy-to-read. However, there are some accidental typos in the memo:
- In the heading:
To: Evan Crisp. (,) UBC Student
- In the body section:
Always proofread you (your) email
Addressing your email recipient by their tile (title) and
Conclusion
Overall, it was pleasant to read your memo on writing with YOU attitude. It provides a thoughtful list of recommendations for the student. If you have any questions, please reach me at tshyp@alumni.ubc.ca.
Ranjit Dhaliwal’s memo link: https://blogs.ubc.ca/engl301-99a-2019wa/2019/11/22/3-1-memo-to-evan-crisp-3/
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