As we come to an end of this course, I would say this course was definitely one of the courses I enjoyed taking. However, I would like to share that deep inside I was not very confident to take this course when I initially signed up for it. Infact, I have dropped this course once in the past due to lack of my confidence in technical writing.

I must say that this course has taught me a lot from writing assignments to peer reviewing and posting them online which I would have never learned otherwise. In the beginning, I found it challenging and even frustrating at times when I was required to post my work on my personal blog and I didn’t know how the web page worked.

This course has shaped my professional qualities which I thought were not as important. Updating my LinkedIn profile was one of the greatest achievement I feel I got. Writing with YOU attitude was one of the very important lesson I learned in this class. Similarly, other assignments in this course are also very practical to apply in daily writing and communication.

Hello! I would like to share my learning experience of creating a Web folio for ENGL 301 as my final assignment in unit 4. Creating a web folio gave me a unique opportunity to thoughtfully create a platform and display my work on the web. I would never otherwise take a chance to go back to my writing from the beginning of the course if it was not for creating this web folio.

I had an opportunity to look back at my previous assignments and reflect on how confident I have become over a course of a period. This allowed me revise my work and sharpen my writing.

Creating a web folio is not just about collecting all assignments from this course and uploading them on the web. I feel this is more like an art where I was challenging myself to display it in a reader friendly platform. There are technical steps involved which I had to learn online to help me create this platform. Moreover, instructor’s guideline and course textbook was very helpful and provided step by step instructions of what is required of us from this assignment.

This assignment definitely gave me a technical knowledge which I think is very helpful in this era of advanced technology.

To: Yury Zhuk

From: Priyanka Patel

Date: December 9, 2019

Subject: Peer review of Yury’s Formal Report Draft

 

Hi Yury,

 

I read your formal report draft of “Maximizing effectiveness of lecture capture systems in the statistics department at UBC”. Please see my feedback on the draft below.

Overall Document

• The topic chosen for this report is very realistic and applicable.
• Report clearly identifies and analyzes the problem, and recommends solution for it
• All parts of the report are relevant to the reader

 

Content

• Title page includes clear title, author name, date, and name and affiliation of the intended recipient
• Table of content helps visualize the structure of the report
• Background information is concise and identifies the problem
• Data collection method is included
• Purpose of the report and scope of inquiry is clear and leads to the body of the report
• In text information from outside sources are cited
• Data Provides balance through advantages and disadvantages of the proposal
• Conclusion Interpretation is clear, accurate and briefly reflects the whole report
• Good use of appendix to include surveys
• Remember to include abstract at the beginning of the report
• Consider using secondary research to support primary research
• Provide recommendations under conclusion
• Reference list and Appendix should start on a new page
• Bibliography should be in MLA style

 

Organization

• Draft is clear, easy to follow and visually appealing
• Content is effective through use of headings and subheadings and connecting to one another
• It’s good to include survey questions, but it might be okay to refer to appendix instead of stating them all under data section again.
• Writing is brief – not too chunky, and overall carries out an objective and positive tone
• No major grammar or spelling errors.

 

Design

• Great use of visuals to present and help compare the survey responses instantly
• Further discusses opportunities to balance disadvantages and provide realistic view
• Report draft is reader-friendly and visually appealing
• Survey charts should be labeled as figures to reference them easily in the body; also, it will be a good idea to include pages of these figures under table of content for quick reference

 

Comments and Recommendations

Overall the draft is clear and written parallel to the guidelines of the assignment. You seem to be on the right trach with your report and I hope my recommendations will help improve your report further:

• Include abstract
• Use figure numbers to label charts
• Consider secondary research
• Include recommendations under conclusion
• MLA style references

 

I had a pleasure reviewing your assignment. Thank you and please contact me if you have any questions.

Link to Yury’s assignment: https://blogs.ubc.ca/engl301-99a-2019wa/2019/12/04/formal-report-draft-lecture-capture-systems/

 

To: Tarandeep Atwal, ENGL301 Student

From: Priyanka Patel, ENGL301 Student

Date: December 16, 2019

Subject: Peer Review of Application Draft Package

Dear Tarandeep,

Thank you for sharing your application draft package with the team. I enjoyed reading through your draft and it was captivating to see your enthusiasm through your writing in the application package. Please see my feedback on your Application Draft Package.

Job Posting:

• Great idea to include job posting with details such as responsibilities and qualifications required
• Citation in MLA format is included

Cover Letter

• Cleary identifies the purpose of writing with self identification
• Related experience and qualifications included
• Positively expresses enthusiasm and confidence while writing with YOU-attitude
• Personal interest related to the job is mentioned

Resume

• Career objective adjusted to the job requirement
• Well organized with bold and bullet points
• Relevant work and volunteer experience included in detail
• Personal information such as awards, and skills emphasized

 

Reference Letters

• Well written and professionally communicated with YOU-attitude
• E-mail is brief and to the point

Organization: 

Application Package draft is professional and uses positive tone throughout the application.  There is great amount of detail in cover letter, resume and reference letters to get the message across. Content is clear, easy to follow and information is organized through bold subheadings and bullet points where applicable.

Grammar/ Spelling: 

There are not major grammar or spelling errors.

Concluding comments:

Overall, the application package is clear and written parallel to the guidelines of the assignment. I had a pleasure reviewing your assignment. Thank you and please contact me at ppatel45@alumni.ubc.ca if you have any questions.

Link to Tarandeep’s assignment: https://blogs.ubc.ca/engl301-99a-2019wa/2019/12/12/41-application-package-draft-2/

 

 

 

Letter #1 Complaint Letter

Priyanka Patel

150 Carringuve Manor

Calgary AB T4Q 0P2

November 26, 2019

 

Hyundai Country Hills

2307 Country Hills Blvd NE

Calgary, AB T3J 0R4

 

Dear manager,

Hyundai has been known as the most reliable car brand. I am a proud owner of Hyundai Veloster since last 5 years. I used to have great customer service until my last visit in search of a second car. It was my first time ever to have experienced rude customer service.

My husband and I came to see Hyundai Ioniq on November 15, 2019, and we both liked the car. We planned to finance this car through my husband’s business company. we were asked to pay $2500 deposit to hold the car until we get our financing approved through the bank.  However, after speaking with our business accountant and manager, we realized that financing a car this year was not possible.  My husband contacted your sales person next day within less then 15 hours to see if we can cancel this deal. He was told that he has already signed the deal with some deposit, so if he wanted to cancel this deal, he would not get his deposit back. During our verbal conversation with the financial representative, he had assured us to help us get our financing approved or in any case return our deposit if we couldn’t make a deal. Rather we were asked to buy any other car from them and apply our deposit there, but this option did not seem feasible for us at the time.

I would appreciate your time and attention in this matter and grant us a refund for our deposit. If we were told about the deposit as non-refundable, we would have thought of it carefully before paying for it. I will appreciate your help in this investigation and wait for your reply. Please contact me by email priya.patel3@hotmail.com.

 

Sincerely,

 

Priyanka Patel

 

 

 

Letter # 2 Bad News Letter

Jordon Smith

Hyundai Country Hills

2307 Country Hills Blvd NE

Calgary, AB T3J 0R4

November 27, 2019

 

 

Priyanka Patel

150 Carringuve Manor

Calgary AB T4Q 0P2

 

 

Dear Priyanka,

Thank you for your interest in doing business with us and I am sorry you had an unpleasant experience with one of our associates earlier this week. We value your feedback regarding our service. We try to make our customers’ experience enjoyable and stress free for car-shopping.

I have forwarded your complaint to the dealership manager as well as financial associate. I am sorry that you were not informed about our non-refundable deposit policy when you signed your papers for conditional purchase. We will do everything we can to serve you well and make sure this doesn’t happen again.

Once again Priyanka, I apologize for our failure to serve you well. Please email me at chhyundai@admin.ca if you don’t hear from us in next 48 hours. We will continue to do our best to speed up and improve our customer service.

 

Sincerely,

 

Jordon Smith

MEMORANDUM

To: Dr. Erika Paterson

From: Priyanka Patel

Date: November 16, 2019

Subject: Formal Report Progress Memo

Audience

The target audiences are dental hygienists working at Bedding Dental to reduce their risk of developing work-related MSD.

Purpose of report

The purpose of this report is to identify the various factors impacting the dental hygienists and ways to prevent cases of injuries and MSD.

Significance of report

There is an increase risk of work-related injuries in Dental Hygienists due to various factors effecting their work life. This report will further aim to identify these factors which can be improved, suggest recommendations to prevent further injuries and improve overall work life for dental hygienists.

Research plan 

• Determine the physical factors impacting the work of dental hygienists
• Determine the psychological factors
• Determine the social factors
• Survey the dental hygienists at Bedding Dental
• Research prevention ideas/ proposed solution for MSD

Writing schedule 

• Nov 18: Determine the physical factors impacting the work of dental hygienists
• Nov 20: Determine the psychological factors impacting the work of dental hygienists
• Nov 22: Determine the social factors impacting the work of dental hygienists
• No 25: Survey the dental hygienists at Bedding Dental
• Nov 27: Analyze the survey data
• Dec 30: Research prevention ideas/ proposed solution for MSD
• Dec 4: Complete formal report draft
• Dec 19: Submit formal report

Dental Hygiene Survey: https://forms.gle/YAA7YDtfcZThxTMK6

 

To: Erika Paterson, Instructor of ENGL 301

From: Priyanka Patel, Student of ENGL 301

Date: October 11, 2019

Subject: Proposal for preventing musculoskeletal disorder (MSD) in Dental Hygienists at Beddington Dental

 

Location of Study

The study is planned to happen at Beddington Dental in Calgary for Dental hygienists.

 

Introduction

Dental hygienists as well as other dental professionals are required to work with high attention and concentration which often requires working in awkward positions, putting stress on their neck and upper back, as well as keeping arms outstreched for prolonged periods and repeated movements. Dental professionals along with other health care professionals face variety of work-related hazards including musculoskeletal disorder (MSD), eye injuries, vibration induced neuropathy and psychological nature. Out of which MSD is considered as one of the significant diseases amongst many health professionals. This study will help evaluate the risk of MSD involved in dental hygienists working at Beddington dental.  This in turn will help learn about prevention factors which can be further used by all other dental hygienists.

 

Statement of Problem

According to world health organization (WHO), MSDs are considered work-related if they are induced by work related activities and exacerbation. (1) Work-related Musculoskeletal Disorders (WMSDs) has been reported as much as 48%, the most common work-related injury across the world. MSD injuries involve muscles, joints, cartilages, Nerves, ligaments and vertebral column.  MSDs in dental professionals are a result of uncomfortable working position with posture stress on head and back, prolonged procedures and psychological stress. Inappropriate working posture leads to increased fatigue, decreased work efficiency and high risk of musculoskeletal injuries. Perhaps improvement in ergonomic positions may help reduce MSD.

Proposed Solution

Workplace related interventions can help control MSD and reduce the stress in dental professionals.  Moreover, looking into increasing individual’s capacity to handle work related physical and psychological stress can help control symptoms of MSD. It has been reported that physical, social, and psychological environment ameliorate some of the occupational factors affecting the health of dental hygienists.

Increased emphasis on occupational health and prevention through ergonomics, improvement in work setting and work relations, alternate between sitting and standing, individual risk assessment, active life-style, yoga, wearing loupes, relieving trigger points, and social satisfaction may help dental hygienists balance some of these factors to prevent Musculoskeletal disorders (MSD).

 

Scope

It has been reported that physical, psychological and social environment ameliorate some of the occupational factors affecting the health of dental hygienists.

• Identify the type of physical factors affecting the health of dental hygienists.
  • Awkward work ergonomics:
• Is the operator chair user friendly with required range of adjustments to work?
• Is the operator room spacious to allow the operator to move freely and not in awkward position?
• Is there enough lighting/ visual ergonomics?
• Are dental instruments in good shape/sharpened regularly or replaced as needed?
• Identify the type of psychological factors
• How is the work environment?
• Is there control over client scheduling?
• Is there time pressure or lack of control?
• Is the dental hygienist working in multiple offices?
• Is there medical and other work benefit provided?
• Identify the type of social factors
• How is the job satisfaction?
• Is there enough work recognition?

 

Methods

I will assess various factors through survey from dental hygienists working at the office. These factors will include questions on:

• Ergonomics
• Improvement in work setting and work relations
• Alternate between standing and sitting while working
• Individual risk assessment
• Active life style
• Wearing loupes
• Checking trigger points
• Yoga
• Social satisfaction

 

My Qualifications

I have been working in dental profession for over eight years and practicing as a registered dental hygienist for over five years. Over the years I have learned that dental profession especially dental hygiene can take a toll on the physical health over time. And I feel that risk of chronic injuries can be reduced with increase in awareness and proper care.

Conclusion

MSD in dental hygienists has been multi-factorial, hence it requires a solution which is multifactorial as well. With available resources, one can look at the problem from different angles and manage it effectively using a multifaceted approach. This report will focus on identifying key factors that can help prevent work related injuries in dental hygienists to avoid MSD. I look forward to doing further research with your approval.

 

References:

1. ZakerJafari H, YektaKooshali M. Work-Related Musculoskeletal Disorders in Iranian Dentists: A Systematic Review and Meta-analysis. Saf Health Work. 2018;9(1):1-9.

 

To: Yury Zhuk

From: Priyanka Patel

Date: September 27, 2019

Subject:  Peer Review of Definition – Machine Learning

I read your definition of machine learning posted on the team forum, and I thorougly enjoyed reading about it. Please see my feedback on the assignment below.

First Impressions:

I was not very familiar with the term until I read your definition. And your explanation under expanded definition seems clear and easy to follow. You have used your subheadings and visuals appropriately.

Organization: 

• The purpose of the definition is clear, and well organized through bold subheadings, and bullet points.
• There is a great amount of detail for readers to learn and understand.
• Expanded definition should have atleast four expansion strategies.
• Proper title is used under the graphic to understand the visual. However, it is missing citation.

Expression: 

• Your writing is done in a professional tone throughout your assignment.
• The purpose of the definition in Parenthetical definition is more like a fact than a meaning of the term.
  • “Machine Learning (a class of mathematical and computer algorithms) approaches have gained popularity in the last decade.”
• Elaborate about Arthur Samuel in your first sentence. Once again, not everyone knows Arthur Samuel’s role in computer and technology.
  • Perhaps, your first sentence can be, “The term…to Arthur Samuel, who was an American pioneer in the field or computer gaming and artificial intelligence (AI).
• In the first sentence where you mentioned about “IBM studying AI”. For a reader who is not familiar with the acronym AI, it would be best to include a full word with letters in the bracket the first time you use it in your writing. So, it is clear for the readers and knows exactly what the letters mean.

Content: 

• Your assignment has the following:
  • three forms of definition
  • a visual
• Your assignment requires work on:
  • a detailed introduction
  • four types of expansion instead of three
  • Atleast three works cited list instead of two

Visuals: 

• More explanation on the visual would help understand it better.

Work Cited List: 

• Sources are cited properly with dates.

Grammar and Typos: 

• I noticed you have used term “who’s” in a sentence, “attributed to Arthur Samuel, who’s team at IBM studied AI as an academic discipline.” You should use a full word here in formal writing. For example, use ‘who is’ or ‘whose’ as applicable.

Concluding comments:

Your assignment was interesting to read as I was not familiar to term at all. Overall it was informative, and organized for a reader to follow it easily. You seem to be on the right track for your writing and I hope my recommendations help you further improve your assignment.

Thank you and please do not hesitate to contact me if you have any questions. I had a pleasure reviewing your assignment.

 

 

 

To: Priyanka Patel

From: Yury Zhuk

Date: September 27, 2019

Subject:  Assignment 1:3 Definition of Machine Learning

I read your definition of machine learning posted on the team forum. I was not very familiar with the term until I read your definition. And your explanation under expanded definition seems clear and easy to follow.

The purpose of the definition is clear, and you seemed to have covered great amount of detail. My only recommendation is to have atleast three references as per the guideline for this assignment.

I want you to pay more attention to some details in your writing. First point I wanted to mention is elaborating on Arthur Samuel in your first sentence. Once again, not everyone knows Arthur Samuel’s role in computer and technology. Perhaps, your first sentence can be, “The term…to Arthur Samuel, who was an American pioneer in the field or computer gaming and artificial intelligence (AI).

Next, I wanted to bring your attention to the first sentence where you mentioned about “IBM studying AI”. For a reader who is not familiar with the acronym AI, it would be best to include a full word with letters in the bracket the first time you use it in your writing. So, it is clear for the readers and knows exactly what the letters mean.

Overall you seem to be on the right track for your writing and I hope my recommendations help you further improve your assignment. Please do not hesitate to contact me if you have any questions.

 

 

 

Pit and Fissure Sealants Definitions

Parenthetical definition

Pit and fissure sealants are clear or tooth-coloured coating applied on a chewing surfaces of the teeth.

Sentence definition

Pit and fissure sealants are plastic coating applied to the biting surfaces of the back teeth, to protect the teeth from getting cavities. It is safe and painfree method, which acts as a barrier avoiding food and bacterial plaque to cause cavities in deep groves.

Expanded definition

The impact on Oral Health

Pit and fissures are normal process of teeth development which are often deeper and more prone to getting cavities than smooth surfaces of the teeth. Regular home care with proper brushing and flossing helps remove plaque from smooth surfaces, but toothbrush bristles don’t always reach the bottom of the deep grooves to remove any food or bacteria. Pits and fissures cavities account for 80% to 90% of the total cavities. Sealants help protect these teeth by sealing them.

Candidate for sealants

Sealants are recommended earlier in life as children and teenagers are at higher risk of getting pit and fissure cavities, but adults can also get them. Even primary molars (baby teeth) at high risk of cavities can get pit and fissure sealants. Newly erupted molars and premolars with sticky grooves and fissures can benefits from sealants.  Any teeth that has stained pits and fissures, but no evidence of cavities and all individuals who are at high risk of cavities can benefit from sealants.

Advantages

Doing a pit and fissure sealant is usually quick, safe and pain free procedures. There is no freezing or drilling required. When applied properly, it will effectively protect the teeth from getting a cavity. Sealants can be repaired or replaced anytime. Cost of sealant is much less compared to having cavity filled.

Treatment and care

Your dentist or dental hygienists will determine the need for pit and fissure sealants during your dental visit. They will assess for any deep pits and fissures high at risk for caries. Other risk factors include personal habits, general health status, medication, lack of fluoride in drinking water, previous history of tooth decay and dry mouth.

 

Before and After of pit and fissure sealants

 

References

1. The Pit & Fissure Sealant Procedure. (2019). Retrieved 24 September 2019, from https://www.dentalcare.com/en-us/professional-education/ce-courses/ce334/the-pit-fissure-sealant-procedure
2. Pit and fissure sealants. (2019). Retrieved 24 September 2019, from https://www.dentalhealth.org/pit-and-fissure-sealants
3. Sreedevi, A., & Mohamed, S. (2019). Sealants, Pit and Fissure. Retrieved 25 September 2019, from https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK448116/

Hello! Welcome to Priyanka’s Web Folio!

The purpose of this web folio is to reflect through my journey in ENGL 301 Technical Writing course taken at University of British Columbia. Writing is like an art which requires drawing out ideas and painting them to create a bigger picture.

This course is an online technical writing course designed to challenge students of technologies and globalized communication.  This will help students prepare themselves to various elements of writing in business, professional and technical context to further challenge different expertise, and collaborate to collective learning experience. In all, students will challenge themselves to reflect their own writing and develop self-editing skills through this course.

Through the course of a period, students work on three major writing assignments: the Formal Report, the Application Package on Linked-in and the Web Folio.

This web folio will show some reflection of my work during ENGL 301 through a blog page, resume, LinkedIn profile link, job application package and some of my best work through the course.  The above menu will guide you through different pages of the web folio.