Depersonalization, on a clinical level, can be described as feeling disconnected or detached from one’s body. It’s often described as observing yourself from outside your body or feeling like you’re in a dream. And I can tell you with certainty that those descriptions are 100% correct. When you’re experiencing depersonalization, you don’t feel entirely there and it can be really frustrating. You know logically that you’re there talking and moving, but it’s a strange numbness that makes you feel disconnected from what’s happening. This is something that I’ve been experiencing for a while, but more strongly recently because I’m under more stress with school and in my personal life. It can be really frustrating because when you’re having an episode of depersonalization, it can be quite difficult to basically bring yourself “back to reality” and focus on the tasks you need to get done.
There are two reasons I wanted to write about this. Firstly, for anyone else who’s experiencing depersonalization like I am, communicate what you’re going through to close friends or family members who you trust. It’s important for people close to you to understand what you’re going through so they can help you when you’re having an episode. Going through it alone can make it difficult to get through an episode of depersonalization; in my experience, it helps to talk through what you’re feeling. Secondly, this is also for people who don’t know what depersonalization is or may be hearing it for the first time. It’s important to be aware of these issues that are not as widely talked about to reduce stigma surrounding them. If you only see depersonalization, or similarly dissociation, as a crazy person who switches personalities, you won’t understand the complexity and depth of these mental health issues and force those struggling with them into silence. Please be respectful, understanding, and patient with people who have problems with depersonalization.
Written by Shelby Rogers