To: Morgan Brandt
From: Ranjit Dhaliwal
Date: November 24, 2019
Subject: Peer Review of Memo on Writing with YOU Attitude
Dear Morgan,
Please see below my peer review and feedback on your memo regarding writing effective communications to professors.
First Impressions
Your memo to Evan Crisp was well written and contained a great amount of detail and useful tips. Overall it was an excellent memo!
Organization
I liked how your memo was concise in organization with a brief introduction followed up by a bulleted list of tips and helpful hints which was then completed with a brief closing statement. This type of structure is less overwhelming and was easy to read.
Introduction
The opening statement was well thought out and provided a good explanation on the importance of writing effective emails to professors. However, I noticed that you started off by referencing professors in the plural form and then you switched to singular for the remainder of the paragraph. Either method works but consistency throughout would be better. I also noticed the frequent use of the term “discourse” which is a more technical definition for written communication. Although its ok to use this term I think it might cause more confusion than necessary given who will be the intended reader.
Writing Style
The list of tips was well thought out and contained great information. I was confused with the tip on “limiting imperatives”. The word “imperatives” might also be too technical given the purpose of the memo and it essentially asks for the writer to allow the reader to determine the level of urgency which is understandable but it then contradicts the following tip on “asking for action” and the tip on “summarizing requests”.
The closing statement was also well written but I had a hard time understanding the first sentence. You mention that mastering professional communication is essential for undergraduate work and the statement then ends by referencing “all places or work”. I had to re-read the sentence a couple of times before I understood what you were trying to say. I would replace the terms “undergraduate work” with “undergraduate studies” which makes it more concise that developing the necessary writing skills throughout your academic studies is essential in the readers professional career later on.
The overall writing style was concise but it contained a lot more technical wording than needed. Given the fact that the reader is Evan Crisp, I believe it would cause more confusion than necessary.
Grammar
There were no other grammar mistakes noted
Overall, I think you did a great job in providing valuable and concise information to the reader in regards to writing effective emails. I hope you find my feedback useful, if you have questions please feel free to contact at ranj.dhaliwal@ubc.ca
Morgan Brandt’s Memo : https://blogs.ubc.ca/engl301-99a-2019wa/2019/11/22/65211/
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