To: Morgan Brandt, English Writing Team Member
From: Ranjit Dhaliwal, English Writing Team Member
Date: December 17, 2019
Subject: Peer Review of Application Package
Dear Morgan,
Thank you for sharing your application package with me for review. Please see my peer review and feedback below. Overall, I really enjoyed going through your package and learning more about you and your previous experiences and education.
Job Posting
The job posting was well organized and easy to read. It provided a detailed explanation of the job position and the qualifications required of any potential applicant. It also provided a description of the work conditions and details on the pay and benefits. The citation that was provided was also correct
Cover Letter
- Clear statement of purpose and intent along with identification of what would be most beneficial for employer
- Great detailed explanation of previous experience throughout high school and # of hours worked professionally
- Closing statement was well written with an emphasis on what qualities would suit employer the most
- The only thing I would change in the cover letter is where you state the term “passion” as your biggest asset in the opening statement and also in the last statement. Based on previous experience I have had employers state that “passion” is an overly used word which just describes a state of feeling and it can “come and go”. Maybe you can describe another more tangible quality
- Employers want to see qualities or strengths in a person that demonstrate your ability to do the job and be a great asset
Resume
- Your resume was quite unique, I have never seen a resume format like that!
- All relevant information is provided including objective, skills, work experience and personal information
- The use of white and purple color was eye catching in the beginning but it’s also became a distraction
- It seems the objective mentions a different employer which should be changed to the employer in the current job posting
- Another recommendation would be to remove the references for experience, this information is usually provided separately upon request
Request for Reference Letters
- Contained relevant and required information about the job posting and the employer
- Was concise and described the reason why the person would be a good reference
- At the beginning of the letter I would start the conversation in a personal way by asking how the person how they’re doing etc., otherwise the letter can come across as a demand instead of a request
Organization
The overall package had great organization and provided all the required information in a neat and concise manner
Grammar
There were no other grammar mistakes noted
Overall, I think you did a great job in putting together a professional application package. The documents in the package provided all the required information needed for an employer to determine if you are a potential candidate. I hope you find my feedback useful, if you have questions please feel free to contact at ranj.dhaliwal@ubc.ca
Link to Morgan’s Application Package: https://blogs.ubc.ca/engl301-99a-2019wa/2019/12/13/4-1-morgan-brandt-application-package-draft/
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