eight weeks down, seven to go

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Upon realizing that my adventure is more than halfway over, I’ve been having lots of feelings these past few weeks! Good feelings, mostly, but it’s always nice to channel weird, all-over-the-place thoughts. My poetry skills are rusty – be nice ūüôā

—-

world traveller, you spread your wings and fly
up, up, away
finally making it out of your chrysalis

before: safety, assurance, comfort, then sudden not-knowing
here: first new, now familiar,
thoughts of tomorrow swirling,
questions of “now what,”
already feeling the tears on your cheeks, marking silvery trails down your face,
they look like the roots of a tree
happy sadness, sad happiness, rooting your tree here, too

“talk to you soon” a promise so often forgotten
every person you meet along the way a trail marker,
every experience a new fork in the road,
learning to take the “road less travelled,”
learning to “fly by the seat of your pants” (although you¬†hate that)

sometimes feeling small, insignificant, unable,
other times feeling capable, proud, deserving,
feeling, feeling, feeling, so many damn feelings all over the place
you knew you had a lot of feelings, but
you¬†didn’t know you¬†had this many

then love, seeping out of your heart and filling your bloodstream, permeating your entire body,
(you would say you have never been in love, but now you know you are in love with this place)
love for the small things and the big things,
love for the places you’ve seen,
love for every person who’s changed your path without even knowing it,

a whirlwind of places and faces and good times and not-so-good times,
moments you wished you could just walk away,
others you wished could last forever, suspended in time

but time, like so many things, is out of our control
we yield to its power
we have to work with what we get in life,¬†use the time, don’t waste it.

once, you packed your bags and flew away, so unsure
now you are¬†here, now the idea of ‘home’ seems alien to you,
because you thought it was one place,
but now you know it can be two, three, ten
as long as you feel like you belong,
‘home’ can be anywhere

once, you packed your bags and flew away, and you will do it again,
fly away, away, back ‘home’
bringing with you so much that’s invisible, contained within you
you will fly away, tentative, unsure (once more)
afraid of something you can’t define,
full of love and full of that happy sadness, sad happiness,
“they’re happy tears, I swear” you say,
but a tear’s a tear, my dear, and you have cried a river of them, will cry a river more

young and bold, wise and old,
wanting to be brimming with unrealized potential,
just learning how to steady yourself on your own two feet,
it’s a process, it has no end until you’re gone,
forever learning
every experience another step in your magical, wonderful life,
loving each minute and drinking in the time
until you have to say goodbye.

—-

To everyone I’ve left in Vancouver, to everyone I know across the world, to everyone I’ve met in Edinburgh,¬†thank you for helping shape my life.¬†‚ô•

“So much of me is made of what I learned from you,
You’ll be with me like a handprint on my heart.” (Wicked,¬†For Good)