To: Lisa Liang, Peanut Team Teammate
From: Cheryl Chao, Peanut Team Teammate
Date: September 26, 2019
Subject: Peer Review of your Radiotracer Definition
Hi Lisa, I have reviewed your definition of radiotracer. I did not have prior knowledge in the medical field and your definition had been very informative. My suggestions below are mostly regarding some extra details as you have done an excellent job at explaining the word radiotracer. My suggestions for you are:
Initial Impression: When I read your definition for the first time, it seems almost perfect as the content was clear and concise. This would be great for people that enjoy short readings. I was able to understand all three of your definitions. Your expanded definition was rather short but seems to have a good amount of information as you had four expanded strategies and each of the expanded strategies were written out in one to two sentences.
Purpose: The purpose is clearly stated in the first sentence of the post. I do not have suggestions regarding the purpose.
Audience: Although I do not have background knowledge on this term, as the reader, the information seems correct. The more I read into the post, the more in-depth my knowledge of the term becomes.
Suggestions: I think the parenthetical and sentence definitions are very straightforward and I am already able to understand the word just by reading those two definitions. For your expanded definition, I would suggest to lengthen your history expansion strategy. You have given the year as to when the radiotracer was used, but greater detail of the history to the radiotracer would be helpful. A suggestion would be to explain who developed this technology. Furthermore, I would suggest to put a sentence below the diagram to describe how the radiotracer is being used in this process. This is because the diagram involves processes that were not mentioned and this makes it a little confusing as to how the diagram is able to help readers to better understand the definition.
Jargon: For the most part, you have used appropriate terms and straightforward sentences. However, there was one sentence that I was unclear upon. This sentence explains “since cancer cells are known to uptake glucose at a much faster rate, deoxyglucose are commonly used as tracers in cancer patients”. You have used a few chemistry terms in one sentence and as a reader, it felt as though there were a few big ideas in a sentence. I understand that some of these terms cannot be explained in simpler terms, hence, I would suggest to consider using a different expansion strategy such as comparison and contrast or operating principle.
Organization / Flow: Your organization was great as there were distinct paragraphs and spaces that showed the three definitions with your introduction. I enjoyed the flow of your definitions as your introduction clearly forecasted the expansion strategies of etymology, required condition, history and visual. This allowed the reader to know what expansion strategies to expect. Furthermore, you had used linking sentences which ensured your readers that this is one cohesive explanation to a specific term. In addition, it was great that you have labeled your diagram and each part of the diagram was clearly labeled.
Final Impressions: Overall your definition was great! You had an effective organization, a smooth flow to your explanation and used appropriate strategies. When I read your explanation, even before I read your expanded definitions, I was able to understand the term you have chosen. In terms of improvement, I would recommend to add more detail to the history expansion strategy and to give further explanation or to use an expansion strategy to the sentence that involved a few jargon.
I hope my recommendations were helpful! If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to contact me.
Link to Lisa’s original definition: https://blogs.ubc.ca/engl301-99a-2019wa/2019/09/21/definitions-radiotracer/
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