To: Tarandeep Atwal (Member of ENGL301 Writing Team)
From: Chae Rin Yang (Peer Reviewer)
Date: September 27, 2019
Subject: Peer Review of Definition – Bruxism
Link: https://blogs.ubc.ca/engl301-99a-2019wa/2019/09/24/assignment-13-definitions-of-bruxism/
Hi Tarandeep,
Thank you for your knowledgable definition of a field that I have no background of. Your post was very concise and easy to read, and I really appreciate that you’ve highlighted the main questions that people from outside the field would ask. There are only a few minor things that I would suggest to organise:
Purpose/Audience
Extremely easy to approach for non-professionals, clearly unravels a seemingly complicated term.
Gramar
Minor yet bizarre double-spaces which I believe are typing mistakes. For example “other than an”, “fracturing , loosening”, et cetera. These are very minor mistakes but it would not seem as legitimate if a reader notices such.
Moreover, in terms of smoothness, “The more painful part is that […]” would be more engaging if you had phrased it as “the most”.
Overall, I very much enjoyed reading about a phenomenon that I would not have thought of otherwise, and I have only noticed minor mistakes that you may not have realised. I believe that apart from that, the organisation of the article is impeccable – alongside with image descriptions – and readers will be further captivated if you could amend the mistakes that I have outlined.
Best,
Chae
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