WRITING TIP:
Take out the people/ pronouns: “I” and “You”
Please study this example:
Note how concise and clear the passage without pronouns reads.
The first paragraph of this review is all about the author of the review. Take out the pro-noun “I” and the paragraph is all about the document under review; the tone is clear and to the point, as it should be!
EXAMPLE:
“I have taken the time to review your term definitions for Distributed systems and I wanted to acknowledge that it was a very concise and informative term that you chosen to write about. I have always been intrigued by certain terms in the computing sciences field, and you have definitely made it an enjoyable experience learning deeper about distributed systems, especially since I have very limited knowledge about it. Furthermore, in the growing world of technology, I believe it is beneficial to acquire more knowledge regarding information technology and computing sciences to advance both professionally and academically (96 words).
REWRITE without pronouns: “I” and “ you”
The term ‘Distributed Systems’ is a good choice for this assignment, the definitions are concise and informative. The field of Computing science is intriguing and acquiring new terms is an enjoyable and beneficial learning experience for the novice professional or academic (41 words)
Example: 169 words
After completing this assignment, the main skill that I obtained from this assignment is the ability to define a complex term. Prior to this assignment, I did not actually know that there are different ways to define a singular term. I had personally always used the sentence method when defining a term. This assignment then also gave me a lot of insight on how academic articles define technical terms and why their methods are extremely effective. One major takeaway from this assignment in regards of my own writing is how easily I assume that everyone will understand the technical terms I use in my writing. For example terms such as real numbers, natural numbers, and integers are all terms that are easy for me to understand due to my knowledge of mathematics, but are most likely difficult for people with no prior knowledge in the field of mathematics to understand. This assignment also will greatly improve my ability to explain mathematical terms to students when I am tutoring mathematics.
Rewrite: 64 words
The definition assignment demonstrates three ways to define a complex term for a novice reader. Researching academic articles provided insight on methods for defining terms. A major ‘take-away’ from the assignment is recognizing that complex technical terms such as ‘real numbers’ and ‘natural numbers’ and ‘integers’ need to be simplified for novice readers. This assignment will be useful for tutoring mathematics in the future.
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