Peer Review 3.1 Memo Taras Shyp
To: Taras Shyp
From: Morgan Brandt
Date: November 24, 2019
Subject: Peer Review of Your Memo to Eric Crisp
Hello Taras,
Thank you for submitting your assignment for peer review. Reading it over, the memo was informative, clear, and well structured. Below are some suggestions for improvement for clarity, jargon, and punctuation.
Format and Headings
- The format is well organized and easy to follow.
Clarity and Concision
- The general message is clear.
- The concision of bullets could be improved through word choice.
- The conclusion is wordy, simplify the phrases with smaller words for ease of reading.
Jargon and Tone
- The tone is very academic and professional
- Some word choice is jargon for an informational memo
- Ex) Laconic and factoid
Grammar and Punctuation
- Capitalize all bullet points.
- Rephrase the 3rd bullet point under “Professional and polite tone and style” as there is a word missing in the second sentence.
- “avoiding usage of imperatives and personal pronouns. It will bring to e-mails reader-centered writing and emphasize the reader role in solving the request”
Overall the memo demonstrates excellent use of writing with YOU attitude with minimal use of pronouns and imperative verbs. Your skill for formatting created a well organized, informational memo that can be used by most readers. To improve reader accessibility, reconsidering word choice and simplifying phrases would make a positive difference. Please contact me with any questions you have regarding these edits at m.brandt@alumni.ubc.ca.
Sincerely,
Morgan Brandt
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