Lesson 4.1 – Peer Review of Amy’s Application Draft

To: Amy Vergouwen, ENGL 301 Student

From: Jobina Tamminga, ENGL 301 Student

Date: December 7, 2019

Subject: Peer Review of Application Draft

 

Good morning Amy,

Your Application has been reviewed as per lesson 4.1, and the feedback is below. You seem very qualified for the job and are clearly passionate about this program. With a few minor layout changes and adding a few more details, your application should be ready. Overall, great start to the application.

First Impressions:

At a first glance, your application appears organized and visually pleasing. Your cover letter is limited to one page, and the spacing on your resume is even and not too cluttered. Your reference request letters are also kept brief but polite which is also really nice.

Position Posting:

The program description that you posted highlights the application process very well, though does not actually explain what the requirements are for the program. Consider including whether the program requires a bachelor’s degree, or what average they are looking for. The MLA citation is done correctly, great work.

Cover Letter:

Your cover letter is a great length, professional and it is evident that you are motivated to apply for this program. It may be a good idea to talk about who you are in the first paragraph, since someone reading the letter may not read past the first paragraph. If possible, also consider adding any positive changes that you made to the long-term care facility while you have volunteered there on top of listing all of the skills that you learned there. Adding on to that, you cover letter may benefit from adding some of the skills you have as a student, since you are applying for an undergraduate program. Great work so far!

Resume:

Your resume includes a lot of great information that really shows your qualification for the program. You have a lot of great experience that relates to the program you are applying for. Your name and contact information does not seem totally centered on the page. Consider also including a long-term goal in your objective, such as becoming a Certified Therapeutic Recreation Specialist. I also think that there may be some unnecessary information that is not relevant to the program that you are applying to such as your high school diploma. Consider breaking your sections into bullet form, as this may make your resume more scannable. Your resume looks very professional and adheres to the template in Technical Communications, great job!

Reference Letters:

You have done a really great job making the reference letter personal to each person. You have really great introductions and transitions into why you are writing to them. Your letters are professional, yet friendly which is great. Consider including your name, contact information and a date on the top of your letters. Other than that, your reference letters look really great.

Grammar and Typos:

Overall, your application was well written, though had a few minor grammatical fixes. Here are some suggested grammatical improvements:

  • Making sure that the postal codes in your cover letter and resume have all upper-case letters
  • Changing “after degree” in your reference request letters to “postgraduate”

Conclusion:

Overall, you have a really strong application. Your application is professional throughout and emphasizes your skills and qualities that would make you a great candidate for the program. By including requirements for the program, adding more personal information to the introduction of your cover letter, and putting your resume into bullet form, your application will be even stronger. The program looks really interesting! If you have any questions, feel free to send me an email at jobina.tamminga@alumni.ubc.ca. Great work!

 

 

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