Date: Dec 18, 2019
Peer Reviewer: Yury Zhuk, (ENGL 301 Student)
Author: Priyanka Patel, (ENGL 301 Student)
Review of Application Package Draft
Attachment: 301 Priyanka Patel_Application Package Draft
Hello Priyanka,
Thank you for submitting your Application Package Draft for review. It was a pleasure to read, excellently composed, clean, and professional. Below are a few suggestions on how it could potentially be improved.
First Impressions
The first impressions were extremely positive. Every document in the package is composed with attention to detail and care, and follows the recommended formats outlined in the Technical Writing textbook.
Cover Letter
The cover letter does an excellent job in communicating your skills, motivations for employment, and experience very clear. The introduction immediately makes the intent clear, the body contains a wealth of information, and the conclusion nicely summarizes the writing. The call to action properly requests a response from the reader. The following tips may improve the cover letter even further:
- “To Whom it May Concern” may be replaced with a more modern and personal alternative, such as “Dear Hiring Manager at Solera Dental Care.” One step further could be to find out the name of the hiring manager or main practicing dentist.
- “Linkdin.com” could be stylized as “linkdin.com” to match the url or “LinkdIn.com” to match the LinkedIn brand style
Resume
The resume is excellently made. The chosen format makes the document easy to read, the sections are clearly outlined and easily navigable, and the experiences are listed in chronological order. Furthermore, the extensive experience displayed is very impressive. One potential improvement could be:
- Since many of the job positions listed under the experience section share a lot in common, making unique keywords of skills and tools bold will assist the agent assigned to reviewing your resume in finding the keywords. For example, writing “cavitron, piezo and prophy jet” bold as such will help these words stand out in the text.
Request for References
The requests for references are succinct and make the request clear. To further enhance them, a personal touch could be added to the introductory paragraph. There is also a minor typo near the end, and “any other information form me” should read as “any other information from me”
Conclusion
This application package is composed extremely well. The cover letter, resume, and requests for references show very strong professionalism and provide relevant information in a way that is easy to find. I thoroughly enjoyed reviewing your application package draft and I hope you can benefit from these suggestions. Please email me if you have any questions.
Thank you,
Yury
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