Peer Review of Definition (Pit and Fissure Sealant)

To:  Priyanka Patel, Member of Team 4 Term writing team (Student ENGL 301)
From:  Yury Zhuk, Peer Reviewer (Student ENGL 301)
Date:  September 27, 2019
Subject:  Review of Definition (Pit and Fissure Sealant)
Link: https://blogs.ubc.ca/engl301-99a-2019wa/2019/09/24/pit-and-fissure-sealants/

Hi Priyanka, your definition of pit and fissure sealants was very insightful! My experience in the dental field is limited, and this helped me understand it better. The definition is very informative, and the following points outline how it can be improved further.

Sentence Structure and Wording
The style and choice of words in the definition is excellent, but there are a few key areas where this can improve.

• A few sentences can be modified to have better flow by rearranging the order of words and key thoughts.
  • For example, in the paragraph on candidates for sealants, you wrote, “Any teeth that has stained pits and fissures, but no evidence of cavities and all individuals who are at high risk of cavities can benefit from sealants.” I advise against grouping teeth and individuals together, and instead focusing on one subject: “Any tooth that has stained pits and fissures, but no evidence of cavities, can still benefit from sealants.”
  • There are a few more cases where adjusting the order improves the readability.

Content
The content, definitions, and structure is very good! The headings and descriptions are very logical and convey the information effectively. However:

• Under the Treatment and Care heading, this section can be expanded to specify the duties of the doctor, and what the procedure for administering this sealant is, as this knowledge may not be obvious to those outside the dental field.
• The heading Before and After of pit and fissure sealants can be moved underneath the image and made into a caption, or the heading can be kept with a separate caption underneath to have a more logic structure.

Grammar:
This definition is very clear and to the point, but a few minor errors could be eliminated to improve the readability and maintain a reader’s focus.

• For example, in both the parenthetical and sentence definition, “pit and fissure sealants … are plastic coating,” should say, “are plastic coatings.”
• A few more subject-verb agreements can be fixed to maintain grammatical correctness
• The subject/object referred to in a sentence can be clarified to maintain a reader’s focus.
  • For instance, in the sentence definition, the method that is “safe and painfree” could be specified.

Overall, I enjoyed reading your definition and I think it is very well done. I hope that the suggestions I have outlined will help improve this definition and your future writing as well. Please let me know if you have any questions or would like further clarification.

Yury