Peer Review of “Writing with You- Attitude Memorandum” for Emily Krisnamurti

To: Emily Krisnamurti, teammate on Pencil Pack

From: Meagan Rosenberg, teammate of Pencil Pack

Date: November 17, 2019

Subject: Peer Review of “Writing with You- Attitude Memorandum”

Hey Emily! I had a chance to review your e-mail memo to Evan Crisp, and have completed your peer review. Please see below for details, thanks!

First Impressions

After reading over your document for the first time I thought it was very well written and straight to the point. I like how you introduced yourself and stated what the e-mail was about in the introduction section. There was a great amount of content for the tips suggested to Evan and a strong conclusion.

Organization

The memo is very well organized. The “To, From, Date and Subject are clear and cause no confusion. There is a clear introduction (again well written and straight to the point), next the content for tips is properly organized with a subtitle and in point form format, this makes it easy for the reader to follow along. The conclusion is strong and lets Evan Crisp know that you are open to discussing any questions or comments he has about the list of suggested tips provided.

Content

As mentioned above, there was a great amount of content in the body of the document. It was noticed that examples were given, which should be very helpful to Evan. The one thing I have noted with the list of tips is that there are a lot of ‘you’s’ in this section. For example, the tip “Make sure that your sentences are all full and complete sentences. Try to re-read what you wrote to see if there are some unclear sentences.” Could be changed to “Sentences should be complete and full, try avoiding unclear sentences.” It is recommended to go through the document and try to decrease the amount of ‘you’s that are in the list of tips provided to Evan.

Tone and Writing Style

The overall tone and style for this e-mail memo was friendly. It was nice how it was mentioned in the introduction that you are a fellow student and wished to help him with your suggested tips. The content part was uplifting and did not sound degrading to Evan at all. The conclusion was well written as you are hoping the best for Evan and guaranteed that if he takes the advice suggested in the tips section that he should have more luck with the professors. Also appears friendly as there is a chance for him to connect with you if he wishes as there was an e-mail address provided at the bottom.

Grammar and Sentence Structure

Overall the document is very well written and only one minor grammar infraction was noted. In the section of tips for Evan, the 6^th bullet point down states “Make sure to address and talk to your professor politely. Understand that you are writing an email because you need his help on something, and therefore, needs to show a sense of gratitude, respect and understand that you should be the one that cater to his availability.” This tip is long and wordy and has a ‘you’ in the second sentence. It seems like there is an added ‘s’ to need in the second sentence and an ‘s’ should be added to cater in this same sentence. It is suggested to read through this tip suggested and think about editing it.

Conclusion

In conclusion it was a pleasure to see peer review your document. You are great at writing and have some awesome suggestions for Evan. Please feel free to consider the recommendations as suggested above:

• Editing out the ‘you’s’ in the tips section of memo
• Fixing the grammar and sentence structure of bullet point 6 in tips section of memo

I hope these suggestions make sense and provide you with some guidance for editing your document. This was a great read and I believe after editing the elements above your document will be top notch! Thank you for letting me review your work, and please don’t hesitate to reach out if you have any questions.

Link to Emily’s Memo: blogs.ubc.ca/engl301-99a-2019wa/2019/11/16/writing-with-you-attitude-memorandum/