Hello everyone. Here is my venture pitch for network, called CityConneX, to support a Vancouver-based sustainability project. Here is the elevator pitch for CityConneX Network. [kaltura-widget uiconfid=”534″ entryid=”0_bw048z18″ width=”308″ height=”292″ addpermission=”” editpermission=”” /] The venture pitch can be viewed at CityConneX Network.
Continue reading CityConneX Network Posted in: Week 13: Venture Forum
Here is my Elevator Pitch: You can access my Venture Pitch here
Continue reading Brenda’s A3 Posted in: Week 13: Venture Forum
Wow Brenda! What a beautiful presentation!
Your pitch we well crafted and included all of the information required for an effective pitch. The delivery is stunning, so kudos on building the pitch. If I were to suggest an enhancement for your pitch, I would suggest that you modify your language slightly; for example, instead of ‘let me build this…’, I might say more affirmatively ‘I WILL build…’, or ‘this concept has been designed…’– something that shows that the product/service exists and is ready to be purchased.
This is the first Animoto presentation that I have come across and it has absolutely been added to my toolbox.
Best,
Kristopher
Brenda,
Great idea! Nicely thought out and executed. I only wish if I had more time to read. The slides never provided me with adequate time to do so. However, it is a product I would give some attention to even though I would need to know more before investing.
Everton
Hi Brenda,
I really like your idea and I enjoyed watching your elevator pitch. I agree with Kristopher’s suggestion about modifying your language, I think it will make you sound more confident about your product.
thanks for your comments everyone! I agree, I should really change the language to show more confidence! I am a big fan of Animoto – I have created family videos using pictures of holidays and special events – I have quite a library of them already! I wasn’t sure if it was suitable for an Elevator Pitch, because it is not a face-to-face video (tried that and it was AWFUL!) and I didn’t have the ability to slow the slides down so that you could read all the text in time…so hoping that the longer venture pitch covers the details. Thanks again.
Brenda
Brenda
Breada,
Great venture! I love the idea. It strikes me that you are taking on the idea that Google had with running the cloud to cut costs and to create one big business that can do more than many small schools. With the advent of the Margaret Atwood and Doug Ford debate on libraries this would solve the problems that many people are having with theses spaces that are quickly becoming outdated.
Your elevator pitch was great and I liked the use of the animoto. The only problems I had were I had to stop the video a few times to finish reading the slides. I think you can devote more times to the text slides and less to the references and ending. Your full venture pitch is great and I think that the example you’ve added is a great addition. I had a few problems with the audio cutting out a bit near the end of the slide but it didn’t hinder my understanding of your project. Amazing idea!!
Tamara
P.S. My partner was sitting in the same room as me while I was watching your pitch and he was impressed by it too!! He commented on how much better it was than mine 😀
Hi Brenda,
I like your pitch, I think it touches on many aspects that an investor would want to know about. You give off a lot of confidence, which is a huge part of a pitch. I think I understand what it is you’re pitching, but at first I wasn’t clear on where I come into this as an investor: I had to replay the video and pause on the one crucial slide to learn about the portal. But the pitch was good enough to make me watch it again to find this out!
cheers
Doug
Elevator pitch assessment
B. Courey – Learning Commons
First Impression: no face or voice, only music & slides, moved too fast to read, had to watch many times and pause to read
CEO Credibility: The CEO does not appear at all – no voice, no image or appearance. I have nothing to judge CEO credibility on. I might take a negative inference based on the fact the CEO is unwilling to appear and be heard.
Management Team: No team is mentioned, so I have no way to judge. I might take a negative inference based on the fact the CEO is unwilling to talk about the team.
Venture Concept: “Join the movement to the learning commons”. Apparently the idea is kids working quietly in the library is bad and kids should instead be working collaboratively using a computer system. I don’t know what a learning commons is or what the benefits to kids are.
Opportunity Space: mentions 72 Ontario school boards and that only 5 are using Learning Commons. That implies a potential market of 77 although the pitch says 60 are available. No revenue is mentioned. Apparently the idea is to build a learning portal for schools to get what they need for a Learning Commons and to pay a subscription fee.
Market Readiness: Apparently only 5 out of 72 Ontario boards are using “Learning Commons” and the rest don’t because of a lack of staff to do it. Savings are implied by switching to this concept from existing license fees, however there’s no indication of sunk costs, switching costs, or likelihood of switching from established decisions and investments.
Competitive Edge: Implication that the new solution will be cheaper but there is no discussion of current costs vs. suggested fees, or what fees would be necessary to cover development and service costs. Not sure how to compare existing situation vs proposed situation.
Exit Strategy: No indication of projected sales, revenues or intended goals for market share.
Overall Investment Status: I don’t see the CEO or the team and I don’t really get the concept. It’s possible that schools may use a subscription service, but I the switching costs may be high, and they may need integration with existing systems. I don’t know the projected goal although I can guess that it’s signing up all Ontario boards. I consider this high risk and would not pursue.
Hi Brenda,
I think that the idea that you’re presenting in your EP is compelling, and the presentation is very beautiful. I know of the learning commons movement, but I don’t know much about it. I think that something that I’m wondering from your EP is whether there is a demand for learning commons. I imagine that most would nod approvingly at the idea, but I am wondering if school boards would buy this service when push comes to shove; are the benefits to students worth the investment?
I hit reply too soon! And so, let me add, I think that you can strengthen your EP really quickly and easily if you can address whether schools and school boards want to move to learning commons.
Hi Brenda,
I see from the comments above that you already got the message about the slides going by to fast to read so I’ll move on. I do like the first two comparison slides because they tell me exactly what your venture is going to be about. What I don’t have a sense of is what evidence there is that the learning commons is better than the traditional library from the kids perspective. I like the benefit statement of ‘one stop shopping’ and lower costs for the schools but I think a benefit statement from the kids perspective would make it a stronger sell.
Cheers,
Julie
Thanks for your comments Julie – I can see that I didn’t give enough background for people outside of Ontario – because here, learning commons is huge. Most schools are finding that the traditional library in schools is not meeting the learning needs of students and so we are exploring (and many have adopted) a new model – we based a lot of our research on the Calgary Board of Education model and the Ontario Librarian Association recommendations…perhaps I should have included that in my message – bad idea to forget the background knowledge of the audience!
Thanks again for your advice,
Brenda
Venture Pitch Review
Hi Brenda,
After my first viewing of your pitch for Inspiration Learning Commons (ILC), I had the distinct sense how passionate you feel about the need for learning commons (LC). Your vision of the role of LC in education is pretty clear, and I felt it would fit quite nicely within the arena of political activism to increase provincial support for LC’s. For the purposes of this course, I wonder if we can tighten up its life as a prospective venture? I think that all you need is a bit of editing, and bit more detail.
For me, there were two key pieces of information that you presented that really spoke to the possibilities for ILC as a *venture opportunity* – but these pieces felt a little buried. Maybe you can foreground them right at the beginning. One is something you mentioned in the comments: that the idea of LC is huge in Ontario, & that it is perceived within the ON education system as a real need. The other is how you describe, at around minute 3, how smaller boards in Ontario can’t afford to develop their own learning commons. They want to, but how? Enter ILC! A LC service for boards who can’t afford to develop their own!
As for a bit more detail, I feel that, if I were an investor – or a school board thinking of purchasing the product, I would want to know these things:
$ Why would school boards want to invest in learning commons if there is such shockingly declining support for libraries (around 1:00)? *6:09 I’m wondering what the licenses are that schools could stop using to free up $ for Inspiration? Are they well and truly expendable – or perceived as expendable?
*Return on Investment: what precisely are the skills that students might learn in the Learning Commons, as opposed to traditional libraries, that might ultimately help them contribute to Ontario’s economy as adults? What kind of difference might this make to the future economic life of (rural?) areas whose areas cannot currently afford to develop their own LC? (1:30)?
*Tech: Is the LC compatible with LMS? Could it be an add-on? Do the schools use LMS?
*Exactly which resources do students access through the learning commons (2:08)? I think that some of your work here might be strengthened by showing us what some of the best resources are, and how they can be used to effectively bolster education in needed ways.
With my best regards,
Allie
HI Brenda! I tried to get to your pitches. I am in China this week, and can’t access them. I just wanted to say that I really wanted to look them over because you have always given me such great feedback in this class. So I apologize that I can’t do the same. I will check them out next week in Canada though!!!
Thank you for being such a terrific participant!!!!
Verena:)
Hi all, Here’s my one-minute pitch, and my venture pitch. Thank you for your patience. Comments are welcome! carmen
Continue reading Hi all, Here’s my one-minute pitch, and… Posted in: Week 13: Venture Forum
Hi Carmen,
I viewed your elevator pitch but I don’t see any reference to your venture pitch. There’s an email address at the end of your pitch. Do I need to email you for access to the full venture pitch?
Hi Carmen,
Great energy in your pitch! I quite enjoyed the music and the humour (especially “Cool. I passed.”). I found that it took quite a while to get to what the venture is, and that once the explanation started it was almost complete. Perhaps you could spend a little more time describing the solution?
Cheers,
Kristopher
Thanks for you comments, Kristopher. I was focusing more on the problem partly because I wanted to get people’s attention on a problem that I think would get me really excited if there is a solution for it. On hind sight, you are right on that I probably should explain my solution more clearly in the pitch!
Carmen,
I must commend you for your effort. The energy is really palpable and I love the funny side. I actually wanted some more out of the explanation too as I am always interested in LMS. I definitely think one day I will invest in an LMS as there is no doubt that this is where the future of teaching and learning is headed. I hope you will make such an investment in the future too.
Everton
Thanks for your comments, Everton. With the development of social networking, cloud computing and analytic tools, I think the functionalities of LMS will be developing quickly in the near future. Fueled by the enthusiasm in DIY and the unstable economy, lots of people want to do something “on the side”, and teaching what one is interested in online seems to a good option. I definitely an increasing need for online LMS as it offers flexibility. 🙂
Carmen,
I think your pitch is catchy and the topic is intriguing. As well, you bring out enthusiasm and make me interested in finding out more about the venture. I would have liked to hear more about the market that you are entering – it felt like the pitch was more geared to a buyer than an investor. I think this is a really hard balance to achieve though, especially in one minute.
cheers
Doug
Thanks for your comments, Doug. This activity really made me realize one minute is very little time! I thought of the venture idea and kept exploring on how good it could be and the possibilities of creating such a tool… afterwards I read the assignment criteria and quickly realized that I have to pitch it to an investor. If I get the time to redo this venture pitch, I would definitely expand on that.
Hi Carmen, I loved your elevator pitch. The combination of text and music allows possible consumers to focus on the problem and the solution that this product offer. In your elevator pitch you provided detailed information about the market gap, the solution, the reason why someone would purchase the product, and the competency of the venture’s leaders. As Doug mentioned, it seemed that the pitch was more directed to a buyer than an investor. I would suggest you to provide more information about how much money is required to run the venture, and how much and how soon will an investor gain returns.
Cheers,
Angela.
Thanks for your comments, Angela. This is a great question and I have to admit that I need to do more research on the amount of money and time needed to invest on the product before it can become reality. To lower the cost, I might explore the option of creating “third party” solutions for an open source LMS like Moodle.
Hi Carmen,
I agree with the others here that your elevator was really engaging and I thought it was really important that you focussed on the number 58% because it illustrated the problem simply and effectively than if you would have used say 78%. What I was looking for more clarity on in the venture pitch was what your product differentiator was. I think I understood it to be that you were going to develop a semantic anlaysis tool and combine it to get the comprehensive view of the student but I wasn’t really sure. The concept seems to make a lot of sense though.
Yes, Julie. The goal of my venture is use analytic tools as a solution to analyze students’ performance in different areas over time. Looking at the numbers at a report card tells us very little about the students. People working with the student would have an idea of his/her progress. However, in a school, it’s not possible to know student(unless in a private elementary/high school); 58% (or 78%) could mean improvement for a failing student, but could be disappointing for others.
This venture is providing a solution to help administrators and teachers learn about each student’s progress in more details, as it provides a record of how the student has been progressing (in the positive or negative direction) in the past. More importantly, these records are for students to reflect on their overall performance in different aspects, and set personal goals.
I thought having such a tool could provide more data for reflection, versus relying on memory and how stakeholders “felt” the student performed.
Thanks for your comments!
Elevator pitch assessment
Carmen – PROspectiveLMS
First Impression: no face, no voice, music over slides, way too fast to read, focuses on a very low percentage number but that number has nothing to do with the product or service, market, etc. too much text in a tiny strip at the bottom, hard to follow along quickly, don’t hit proposed solution until 55s out of 60 and goes over time limit
CEO Credibility: The CEO does not appear at all – no voice, no image or appearance. I have nothing to judge CEO credibility on. I might take a negative inference based on the fact the CEO is unwilling to appear and be heard.
Management Team: No team is mentioned, so I have no way to judge. I might take a negative inference based on the fact the CEO is unwilling to talk about the team.
Venture Concept: Apparently something to do with adding analytics to an LMS good idea about analytics but doesn’t really explain who uses it (are teachers and students supposed to change behavior based on the graphs? How do they know what to do). No discussion of how social analytics work or track record.
Opportunity Space: No discussion of the intended market or pricing or revenue.
Market Readiness: No discussion of what systems may currently be used by intended market or what the switching or implementing costs would be of this system.
Competitive Edge: No indication of how analytics make this solution different. Khan Academy has a video about integrating an analytics backend with graphing based on a question by question basis. Their video shows how it works and it may be offered for free, so this idea is out there.
Exit Strategy: No indication of their target market, its size, or how they will capture it.
Overall Investment Status: I don’t see the CEO or the team, I don’t know who the targeted market is. I don’t know the intended pricing. I don’t know how this will be marketed. I consider this high risk and would not pursue.
Thanks for your comments, David. You have laid out very clearly what is missing in my pitch, and made me reflect on my approach to this project. I was too absorbed in finding a solution to the problem that I want to solve and the possibilities of making it happen, rather than on selling the venture idea to potential investors. A lot of time was spent on convincing myself that this will actually work.
If I have the time to redo this pitch, I will elaborate on what it can do for teacher and administrators and how they can use the tool. I will definitely review these comments and our class notes to make it a better pitch.
Hi Carmen,
As Julie pointed out I found that you focusing on the number 58 throughout pitch was an effective method of emphasizing your point. I think the pitch could have been stronger had you moved into your idea for fixing the problem a little bit quicker. More focus on your solution rather than the problem.
The problem-solution was clearly identified in the venture pitch. While it may not have been evident in the elevator pitch, after reading your venture pitch I was able to understand that PROspective would be a tool used in helping educators and students understand areas that could be improved upon. The three cases also provided examples of the tool in use.
Before I would consider investing in this venture I would like to know a bit more about the market and the competitors. In particular I would need to know what sets you apart from the competitors. Do you offer something they do not?
One more concern I would have is how much time is required for teachers to submit data to be analyzed. I wasn’t clear in this (but perhaps I missed something). Evaluations are time consuming for teachers and the pitch argues that this will allow teachers to plan more effectively. I would want to know how data is input since this could become very time consuming for teachers to ensure continuous feedback.
Upon satisfying responses to the inquiries above I would likely consider investment into this venture.
Thanks for the interesting project.
Thanks for your feedback, Jay. This venture aims to analyze students’ academic, collaboration, critical thinking skill and work habit, using three analyic tools. It’s competitors only offers a single tool (ex. SNAPP provides information on student interactions, Signals identifies at risk students mainly by their grades). Combining these tools can provide a more complete picture of how each student is doing.
How much time is needed for the tool to provide data is a great question. So far as I have not experience SNAPP myself, I am assuming that something similar will be able to provide data at the end of every day/ week when the system take in the data collected and do a calculation? The ability of this type of program to provide timely data can greatly affect it’s potential use… I’ll need to look into this in more detail.
Thanks for the great questions. 🙂
Hi Carmen,
I too really enjoyed the combination of humour and percentages in your EP which led me to explore your VP. I think it’s important to provide students with more feedback throughout the year so that they have a better chance of knowing what and how to improve. I also think it’s a great idea to break up the student’s performance on soft skills and agree that it’s a great way for students to see their strengths and weaknesses. PROspective also seems to provide students with opportunities to set attainable goals for themselves and see immediate feedback, which I think would motivate them to improve in all areas.
Overall, I think you’ve done a great job. You seem to have a very strong team for the development of this product. The only constructive criticism I have for you, is that I would have liked to have read a little more about the marketing side of PROspective, in particular the market readiness. For instance, is it something that you are in the process of developing and how long do you think it will take for you to have it ready for users?
Again, great job!
Hi Ashley,
Thanks a lot for your comments. You are right on about the what PROspective has to offer, and have asked some very good questions.
Right now similar technologies (like SNAPP and Signal presented during the week of learning analytics presentation) is already in use, so it’s not impossible to develop such an LMS and to combine what they allow us to do. I truly believe that learning analytics will be more widely used in the future.
Hi Everyone, You can find my short, media-rich “elevator pitch” on Scienmalab, a social network at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MRuW8TFunF8 and a longer “venture pitch” at https://blogs.ubc.ca/scienmalab/scienmalab-venture-pitch/ . I hope you will enjoy both.
Continue reading Scienmalab, Social Network/Virtual lab Posted in: Week 13: Venture Forum
Hello,
I reviewed your venture pitch and very much appreciated that you began with the solution (Scienmalab); the venture has an obvious need, which became much more apparent as you worked through the pitch. I also liked that you had sample screens that helped me to see how the product would be used. To improve on this pitch, you could include specific reference as to how you plan to integrate this venture into school (although your market was quite clear).
Kristopher
Hi Kristopher,
Your critique is fear and I kindly note of your suggestion. Thank you for your feedback..
Hi,
I took a look at your pitch. I had a few suggestions for some ways to improve your elevator pitch. First, I think you idea is excellent but it is not distinct enough. There are already free web sites that provide science labs, virtual libraries and math manipulatives (e.g., http://nlvm.usu.edu/en/nav/vlibrary.html) There also also free educational social networks (e.g., http://www.edmodo.com/). I think you need to focus your idea on a core value that does not currently exist. If schools are going to pay for the use of your site, make sure you indicate what it is that is so valuable and that is not available elsewhere. Once you accomplish that, I think you will be set and ready to market your product!
Conroy,
Great concept! I am happy you actually took on a problem that needs immediate attention now. Our students are really having serious problems grasping science and math concepts and this is evident at all levels. Whenever, the results from our regional examinations are released, I am sad as I know our students can do better. I think we will have to be the element of change and come up with more ideas to reduce these problems. I am ready to invest bro.
Everton
Hi Conroy,
I think that you really make a compelling case for why Scienmalab is needed to improve student learning in Math and Science in the Caribbean. I’m just wondering what platform learners will access Scienmalab over? Given that there are issues with insufficient resources and space, I’m wondering whether schools purchasing the product will need to make a capital investment – such as more computers? I realize that this question may be answered in your VP, which I haven’t yet read.
You may be interested in the virtual frog dissection app by Emantras; back when we did our founders parade a couple of months ago, I chose them and was really impressed by their virtual learning applications. http://frogvirtualdissection.com/
best, Allie
Conroy,
I really liked your pitch. You made the venture seem important and almost indispensable. This is very important for investors. Investors can make all sorts of decisions based on data and numbers, but there are times when the investor simply has to rely on a gut feeling, and your pitch speaks to this part. I think I would have liked to hear a bit about the people behind the project, in order to give the venture more legitimacy, but overall I would say that it was a very good job done.
cheers
Doug
Conroy,
Great pitch. You really emphasize the need for this technology and I found myself wishing I’d had something like this while I was in school learning science and mathematics. You state that it is a social network similar to something like facebook but from your explanation it seems that something like blackboard might be your closest competitor? Also, like Allie I feel that you could address the problem about your implementation of this program as you state there is a problem with a lack of resources and space and will schools be able to obtain the resources to implement your ideas?
I think your idea is great and you really demonstrate it’s need, the only thing I feel you need to address is the implementation.
Tamara
Hi Conroy,
I thought I had posted this previously, but it seems to have gotten lost (today was a crazy day of too many interruptions):
Pain Point/Solution: You describe the pain point and solution very well. You describe the gap that your product is directly addressing.
Differentiation: You also describe how your product is different from the existing competition and why it is better. You also state that there is a big collaboration and interaction component to this product making it even more attractive. In addition, you also state how your product is different from existing social networks. I also like the fact that you were taking in the Non-English speaking countries too.
Marketing: This was not clearly laid out in your analysis and I did want to find out more on how this was going to be marketed in the schools. For instance, if this is going to be targeted as school administrators how were you going to get the word out to them and all the other teachers about your product.
Championship: I was curious about who were going to champion this venture. Even if you were not the CEO, but you were going to propose this product to your administrator, I wanted to know who was involved with creating it and running it. Also I wanted to know how they were making sure that the private conversations were being kept private.
Competition: You did a good job about talking about the different social networks that do exist out there. I was also thinking you could also include competing school sites, databases and other educational products that were out there. Most of these products require some sort of licensing or yearly fees and you could have further used that as your competitive edge.
The Ask/Return: I know that we are not required to discuss figures in this particular projects, but I was curious about how much it would cost to develop such a venture.
If you have any questions or comments about what was written, please let me know.
Juliana.
Hi Conroy,
I also wanted to let you know that I am going to be voting for your venture, but the pulse voting does not seem to be working for your post right now. I have forwarded the issue to our instructor who has forwarded to UBC IT. Hopefully they will have it fixed before the end of the class, but I just wanted to let you know that you will be getting a vote from me.
Juliana.
Hi Juliana,
Thank you. I am happy that you find my venture interesting.
Hi Conroy,
Your pitch made it clear the pain points that you are addressing. Sometimes the resources and time required to prepare lab materials cause a teacher to hesitate about doing labs. Sometimes virtual labs are even better than real ones not only because it lowers the cost and saves teacher’s prep time, but also allows students to repeat experiments as many times as they like to test their theories. I believe that having these virtual labs/ simulations are great tools to help student learn math and science.
I wonder how this is related to the library that you mentioned in your pitch. Sharing resources between teacher is great, but it seems to me that you could’ve separated the two into two different ventures.
carmen
Hi Carmen,
Thank you for your suggestions, they were fair. However, in my view I think a comprehensive system would add market value to my product.
Dear Conroy,
I really enjoyed the layout of your venture pitch: clear, concise, to the point with pertinent information. There is something to be said for a clean presentation – whether it be a multimedia or the old fashioned paper one. Thank you.
Michelle
My venture is a resource for adult ESL teachers or tutors. It makes use of learning analytics and intuitive design. You can find my elevator pitch here: http://thetutorhelper.wordpress.com/2011/11/26/elevator-pitch/ And my venture pitch here: http://thetutorhelper.wordpress.com/
Continue reading A3 Venture Pitch Posted in: Week 13: Venture Forum
the tutor helper is a great idea. I like how you have laid out your venture pitch. The sections make it easy to understand the different components, and your sales strategy is simple, but makes sense. I know that the ESL market is big – I wonder how you will actively sell your product and make sure that it gets noticed. I also wonder how difficult it is to attract qualified teachers to work as tutors for you. You may hit a snag on that one. In my own research on tutoring, it seems that many of the online companies are looking – I wonder what the availability of teachers is like. Maybe target hiring to the East coast… There are a few ventures here looking to design one-stop-shopping for online ed – there is obviously something lacking in the current availability; based on what my research says, this is the most important determinant for success.
Emily
Thanks for the feedback! I hadn’t thought too much about hiring the teachers before but it seems to me that there is an overabundance of ESL teachers lately, at least in Toronto. I’ve worked at both private schools and colleges and many of my colleagues get laid off during the slow times. I also had the idea of putting my name on craigslist for tutoring and found that there are MANY teachers on craigslist looking for students to tutor. In Toronto I wasn’t too worried about getting tutors but I suppose elsewhere it might be a different story. Something that I’d have to look into. I was wondering if merely posting a job online would be sufficient. I know for myself I always am a little leery about applying to an online school -some of them don’t look legit. I think actually speaking with the teachers/tutors face-to-face might be a better option. Once I’ve head hunted a few teachers the word may spread? That was my plan to hire teachers.
Tamara
Hi, Tamara.
Your idea looks pretty good, and I appreciate the mock-ups of what it may look like – visuals for something new are a great help. The EAL market is pretty huge and should continue to grow – your useful-looking program may work nicely.
Your pitch had a few things I struggled with, though:
– much longer than the maximum time given – I wondered how strict I “should” be… if I should stop watching at 1:00
– errors in the words (one misspelling / typo and one or two words I thought should have been capitalized)
– audio was a bit hollow – could have a bit more energy
Hi Tamara,
You provide an innovative concept and it has a huge market. As Emily has mentioned, I wonder how will you attract qualified tutors to work as tutors for you. I also would like to know more information about money required and returns (how much and how long will an investor receive returns). this information would make easier to an EVA to assess if investing or not in the venture.
Cheers,
Angela
Elevator pitch assessment
Wongte – tutorhelper
First Impression: no face, voiceover slides, slides too fast to read and quite busy in places, voice lacks passion, many slides emphasize boredom
CEO Credibility: The CEO does not appear as an image or video although there is a voiceover all the way through. I have the voiceover to judge CEO credibility. The voice has no passion. I might take a negative inference based on the fact the CEO is unwilling to appear.
Management Team: No team is mentioned, so I have no way to judge. I might take a negative inference based on the fact the CEO is unwilling to talk about the team.
Venture Concept: Mentions “teachers” but not what type. Apparently something about a web resource for activities for teachers teaching English but also mentions tutors. Mentions learning analytics but doesn’t explain how they are used. Mentions learning management system but appears more like a database of resources.
Opportunity Space: Apparently aimed at English teachers or tutors? Does not describe the market, proposed market share or revenue.
Market Readiness: No description of how this will be marketed or distributed, how to enter the market or how to grow presence.
Competitive Edge: Does not explain how this is better than existing web-based resources or how it will compete with LMSs. Not sure if this is a real LMS or not.
Exit Strategy: No indication of their target market, its size, or how they will capture it. No indication of what investment is wanted or how it will be repaid.
Overall Investment Status: I don’t see the CEO or the team, I don’t know who the targeted market is. I don’t know how my investment will be repaid. I don’t know how this will be marketed. I consider this high risk and would not pursue.
Hi Tamara,
Your pitch resonated with me as I was an EFL teacher for four years in Canada and Japan. It is very time consuming trolling through websites to find resources and I think you target a pain point for teachers and students. I also like that you advocate for a learner-centered allowing learners to choose what they feel is relevant for them.
Your screen shots are a nice addition to your picth and are helpful in visualizing what the Tutor Helper would look like.
The market is big but there would also be a lot of competition with regards to tutoring and other sites that provide resources for fees although you set yourself apart from others by personalizing lessons and allowing for quick selection of specific lessons through analytics.
Interesting pitch.
Jay
Hello Tamara,
You’re so right when you say there are lots of resources out there but none that consistently deliver. I was also an ESL teacher for a few years, and would spend hours trying to find the perfect news articles to use, or a game that practiced something specific. I would have loved a tool like this!
One question I have is about how students use the LMS. You mentioned that the students will interact with it, but is this still within the context of one-on-one tutoring or something included in their hourly fee? I really like your idea and would like to know more about how students would interact with the system.
Andrea
Hi Tamara,
What a great idea!
Your venture is very similar to mine, though mine is for Math.
My venture idea also came from my experience. I had difficult time finding RIGHT resources and questions for my lessons and for students. Although there are resources available at school, many of them are outdated and there are not enough resources to support teaching. I didn’t even have a textbook last year when I worked at a different school from this year!
Your venture will support teachers and create a better work condition for teachers who are struggling to find English resources.
Great work!
Deb
Hi Tamara,
Your idea is a good one. I can imagine that other ESL teachers would welcome it. Is this your primary market? How expansive do you think it would be?
I imagine you could also target English teachers as well and promote authentic learning opportunities.
See below for my extended EVA.
Elevator Pitch: Your voice was pleasant and I liked the use of the graphics. Some of the text was hard to see. But the availability of voice and the timing of the voice and text addressed this. Interestingly, I do not have a problem not seeing the faces of CEOs. However, your pitch did not give an idea of your management team, even though you provided a further link, I think a mention of this is essential in your elevator pitch. I read somewhere that you should try to put your essential elements first because persons get switched off. At about 52 seconds in I felt myself switching off. By then you had gotten through many of your essentials but perhaps you could revisit to end with a bang within your 1 minute. I sat through the rest but I imagine that as an investor I would have probably been done at 1 minute, given that they get so many pitches.
Team: CEO and Management Team are mentioned on the site. Pictures would add to presenting faces to names. Strenghts for content and learning technology development are displayed. However, the financial and business aspects need strengthening. If Robert Wong is busy, would he be too busy to feed into the business? This is a potential red flag for investors. Also, there are no mentions of track record or ability or credibility of financial and business administration strength and capability.
Venture: Problem and product/service solution are clearly delineated and involves the use of a website hosting learning resources for ESL and tutors with offers for subscription, licenses, opportunities for private online tutoring and the use of learning analytics to identify and recommend resources. I like the focus on learning theories, particularly authentic learning. But I have questions on if one can access these services already (see further under competitive advantage).
Market: Target market, pricing and revenue are discussed. $80 per year for tutors and $10 per student are reasonable prices and worth taking away the stress of searching for a wide variety of new and fresh resources that are varied according to such diverse user needs. Expanding information on this process/activity would give investors valuable information on the ventures approach and viability. However, how confident are you of attracting your target market? Would users be willing to pay for such services? (see further under exit strategy)
Market Readiness: LMS mention. Which will you use? How will it work? Also which learning analytic tools and how will they work?
Competitive Advantage: This needs to be zeroed on some more. I read it as using learning analytics to find resources to personalize learning. But can’t a tutor do this for themselves? What are you offering that is different?
Exit Strategy: Needs further information on the size of your target market and how you will access it.
Kerry-Ann
Hello Tamara,
I like the way your elevator pitch used the same image/symbol when discussing investors, etc., which helped to spell out how I could be involved. I also liked the your site with page tabs that can direct you to exactly the areas you want to learn about. What I felt was missing was a personal touch, ie photos or videos, of the people behind the product. In addition, as someone commented on my web based ET product, it’s hard to convince people to embrace your product for a fee when they can also get similar for free. Many people are willing to run around if they get to save a buck.
Hello ETEC522, Below you will find my venture links for the Socrative smart student response system: Elevator Pitch Venture Pitch Enjoy!
Continue reading A3 Venture Pitch Posted in: Week 13: Venture Forum
Hi Andrew,
Your elevator pitch and venture pitch were quite interesting to watch. I assume you have decided to take on the role of being at the helm of this venture (correct me if I am wrong). As such, I would be a venture capitalist looking at your company as an asset in which to invest. In your elevator pitch, you note that 40,000 people have signed up for a free subscription. What I wanted to know from the elevator pitch was how you intend to monetize the product.
Of course, you answer these questions and more in your Venture Pitch. The only thing I worry about is that people almost expect free apps now… unless the product has some added value that REALLY cannot be found anywhere else, it will be difficult to monetize it. You do mention that data enhanced version which would add this value.
I am considering your venture pitch as one of the three I will review in more detail but have not decided yet…
Thanks for your feedback Jim,
I’ll admit that I felt a little uncomfortable acting as if I was a part of the Socrative team, who knows what they would think if the found out. So instead I tried to come off as a Socrative supporter. I also understand that I do lack a financial incentive for investors in my elevator pitch, but I guess I felt the time squeeze and focused more on problem and solution.
As for free apps, I also agree. I myself always look around for a quality free version before I give money away. As for the enhanced version, I searched all over the web and couldn’t find anymore information than what I included in the venture pitch. It would have been nice to include some tangible YOU + STRATEGY + MONEY = MORE MONEY, but alas….
Hi Andrew,
Your presence in the venture pitch was very calm and your voice was very clear. I also liked how you compared this venture to similar ventures such as iClickers and poll everywhere. It was clear from your pitches that you have done a lot of research on the product. You also did a good job at looking at the people heading up Socrative and selling them.
I was confused about one thing. I was not sure who you were aiming this proposal to. Are you aiming it to administrators? Are you acting as the venture’s CEO? Also, as this was a venture that relied on mobile devices, what would you do for a student who didn’t have one? Can schools can realistically maintain and provide mobile devices to those students who didn’t have any and do all schools have their own wireless networks? (This last question is for my own interest…most of my work experience has been in a University environment and I was curious about the public school system)
Juliana.
• Pain Point: digital native students not getting their learning needs met
• Solution: smart student response – interactive learning
• Differentiation: defines itself from clickers. Used on any web based device.
• Marketing; Identifies demand. Comprehensive marketing strategy – 40 000 people within 24 countries. No marketing efforts identified at present. Clearly identifies future markets.
• Championship; great championship and team membership
• Competition: clickers
• The Ask: Don’t remember there being any official ‘Ask’ from the investor
• The Return: investigating revenue options
The Message
• CEO Credibility: appears credible•
• Management Team: very educated and knowledgeable team members
• Venture Concept: market demand present. Clear and concise business plan with knowledgeable researched background
• Opportunity Space: turnkey product
• Market Readiness: very plausible and feasible. Identifies that students are ready for this type of interactive learning.
• Competitive Edge: looks at global market strategy
• Exit Strategy: None identified
• Overall Investment Status: turnkey product with lots of future potential. Loved your elevator pitch that was really accentuated with the graphics that you chose – which program did you use to develop this video?
• Overall very believable, researched and well-presented venture. Great job!
Hello Deb,
Thanks for your feedback. I just used iMovie to make the video.
HI Andrew…You have an interesting venture – an alternative to the much pricier Clicker response systems we see in many schools and if a school does not already use this technology, your solution many work for them. You also acknowledge the benefits of immediate feedback and the need for a quicker way for teachers to do assessments. I agree with others though, that I am not sure who your target audience might be- and customers who start with something free are not always going to start paying later – not sure if there is data out there that proves I am off base on that or not. I was a bit confused about the Edu Tech take offs part of your presentation – did that mean that you have more competition, or that you hope to be bought out some day by larger players? I also found the cost to be quite high…but then again, I may be forgetting how convenient this service would be. For now, our schools have several sets of the clickers, so we would have a hard time selling this product.
Brenda
Hi Andrew,
Very good elevator pitch. Your target market was evident at the onset – educators, parent, students or administrators. The concept presented is very interesting since I am an educator that face some of the problems you mentioned and would love to solve these sooner than later using activites that engage learners. As a result, I would want to learn more about the product. Also, it seems like it is a good product since over 40000 users have signed up for it since it entered the market in February of this year.
Keisha
Hi Andrew,
I like the product.
Since it is web based, I would assume that it is accessible via mobile devices , laptops , or desktop computers.
There are few things that are not clear to me …
a) does the teacher create the questions? if yes, how?
b) is it applicable to other courses such as math, chemistry, physics, etc ?
c) how is it different from existing LMS? Some, if not all, of the open source LMS are SCORM compliant
which can do something similar to what you are proposing. I am just not sure if the analytic part has been integrated.
Steve
Hi Andrew,
I really like the product! I think your elevator pitch was intriguing and included a lot of good information. You clearly stated your product, the market, problems and solution. I think the questions at the beginning helped prepare me for what the pitch was about.
I am very interested in this product and am looking forward to reading your venture more in depth!!
Jenaca
Hi Andrew,
I really enjoy your pitches as your ideas are clear, and you appear confident and calm. Also, your presentation is well paced with helpful visuals. You explained the advantages of using Socrative over Clicker and Poll Everywhere, which really convinced me that there is huge potential in this product. I have a few questions about the revenue options after watching your venture pitch:
1. I wonder what the data enhanced version offer and how it will be different from what it is now.
2. So far, Socrative is an online application that doesn’t require any installation. However, one of the revenue options mentioned in the venture was to preinstall Socrative in tablets… I wonder what the company has in store for it’s next step!
Overall, I really enjoyed your pitch! I will definitely explore this tool some more. 🙂
carmen
Dear Andrew,
Giving you condensed version eva as time is running out and many great things have been mentioned already 🙂
Elevator pitch: found it extremely engaging immediately and enjoyed the to the point of it.
Venture Pitch: Introduction well done to capture audience: especially enjoyed the university students “listening” to lecture and the comment about high schoolers and phones. I appreciated your clear speaking style.
Problem/Solution: pointed out very clearly. I like the appeal of this app. I like that is it is geared towards mobile devices as you mention later that schools are definietly on that stream of thought.
Marketing: free is great . . . but would like more info on the revenue options but understand that it is in the makings.
Competition: good use of these to actually showcase socrative, I thought. Although the other companies offer similar products, I think yours may have an edge, especially when thinking about marketing to school groups and cost.
Good work on the CEO and team management and numbers for the product.
Only part I was confused about was I thought you were acting as CEO at first but then realized you weren’t but it was all good.
Enjoyed your presentation. Thanks.
Michelle
Hi everyone, My venture focuses on improving communication for learning between parents and teachers to foster an atmosphere that is positive, practical and personal (PPP). Lots of money to be made in private tutoring; lots to be made in the DIY market. Combining them only makes sense. Enjoy! PPP Learning Elevator Pitch To see the […]
Continue reading A3 PPP Learning Posted in: Uncategorized, Week 13: Venture Forum
Hi Emily,
Excellent idea! There is a huge market that can be cracked into in large chunks (at a minimum entire classrooms instead of individuals). I very much like the idea. While I had some challenges with quality of video (pretty sure it is my system), I was curious about your decision to use Prezi. I am a huge fan of Prezi, but opted out of it because I didn’t want the viewer to have to click through. I quite liked your balance of a self-playing video, with additional information available through the prezi format.
Kristopher
Thanks for the feedback. I wasn’t going to use prezi, and had made it in powerpoint, but then realized that you can’t (or I can’t) export powerpoint with animation. What’s up with that? Anyway, I had to re-think how to do it, and prezi seemed like a good idea. I wanted to have the video playing throughout with images and words coming through at the right times (but still able to see video). I never found a satisfactory tool to do it. Crazy.
Hi Emily,
I really like your idea of a kind of managed, value-added tutoring service… once that provides that tutoring itself but also the coordination of that service. Having been a tutor myself during the off hours of the first ten years of my teaching career, I was curious to know how this would look in your elevator pitch. I think one way you could strengthen your elevator pitch would be to highlight clearly by concisely why your service is unique. That might involve explaining the three Ps – positive, practical and personal… how does your service accomplished this better than traditional tutoring services? Why, as a prospective parent, would I be willing to pay a little more for your value-added tutoring service than a run-of-the-mill tutor?
Hi Jim,
Thanks for the feedback. I found it very difficult to select what to highlight in the elevator pitch. I wanted to give a quick idea of why this is needed, what it is, where the market is, and how it could make money. A lot to fit in. I spent a lot of time cutting back on product description, thinking that the goal was to draw in an investor to take a look at the venture pitch, where the product would more fully be described.
Emily
Jarvise,
I like your line of thinking as you didn’t take on the obvious. To include those critical stakeholders and improve communication is paramount in today’s learning environment. However, I just wanted to know more about the mode of delivery and any added value the service will have. We are in a competitive environment so I know you will be innovative in what you have planned to capture a share of the market and maintain it.
Everton
Hi Emily,
Your venture really opened my eyes. I knew that there was a tutoring market, but I would have never thought of cracking it in the way that you suggested. I also liked how you laid out the ask, the marketing and the return. I think these are all important parts of the pitch and they can help to sway an investor. I also liked how in your venture you decided to personalize things not only for the student, but also the parent.
I like in your presentaiton how you made everything look like a chalkboard, but I thought the panning was a little distracting. Also in your elevator pitch I thought you spoke a little fast. Although I can understand why…you only have a minute and you need to get everything in. I will admit how you were able to say everything that you wanted to say in one continuous take. When I was doing my narrations, I was stumbling over my words constantly (along with hacking and coughing), so it took me a while to put everything together.
Juliana.
Hi Juliana,
Thanks for the feedback. Narrating the video was very difficult. I have many, many takes. It got easier as time went on and I got more comfortable in front of the camera. I’m very shy, so I had to pretend that I was an actor playing the part of an empassioned entrepreneur. If I approached it as myself, I was too uncomfortable. I think my acting was OK. Funny, eh? I also realized after a number of takes that you can crop your video from either end, so I didn’t have to sit posed waiting to push the start button. I just acted normal, pushed start, then got myself composed while taping. This assignment took a ridiculous amount of time. Thanks for the positive response!
Emily
Hi Emily,
I can totally understand how you felt about the narration. It can be especially difficult if you are a shy person. Kudos to you for doing a good job! I never got the sense you were shy at all. In fact you exuded a confident presence.
I do remember reading somewhere that if you are going to present or give a talk somewhere, what you need to do is get into the mindset that you are a host and your audience are a bunch of people coming to your house for a dinner party or get-together. By putting yourself in the mind frame of the host, you take on the role of being a caretaker of your audience and it is supposed to alleviate any pressure or nerves you feel and allow you to give a better speech that allows you to connect to the audience.
I thought that was an interesting way to do a presentation. I think I will try it the next time I have to speak in front of a group of people. I couldn’t do this for this project because I felt so sick I just wanted to get through it without hacking up a lung 😉
Juliana.
“In fact you exuded a confident presence.”
I totally agree with juliana!
Hi Emily,
I am familiar with the concept of tutoring. My partners and I franchised Enopi (similar to Kumon). This is why I was curious about your project.
I reviewed both the elevator and venture pitch. I want to make sure I don’t miss any good stuff.
There were few questions in my head while reviewing the pitches …
a) How do you intend to implement this?
b) What would make your product different from a tech savvy tutor who might use blogs, Moodle, or any other open source platforms?
c) I believe most ideas are unique only for a moment. Once the idea goes public, others would imitate. So, what would be your next step once you get the funding? how do you keep the business alive?
Overall, I love the presentation and the concept.
cheers,
Stephen
Hi Stephen,
thanks for the comments. I think that what sets this business apart from other tutoring services is that there is no tutor, per se. The idea is basically that we are providing support to parents to do the work with the kids themselves. One of the key ideas I came across in research is that parents who seek tutoring continue to spend more time on homework with their kids than others (generally). So by providing focus to the time they are already spending, they can save money and time.
As far as implementation, the plan is a completely online business, so basically once a parent hires the company, we would go about initiating contact with the teacher, etc. One weakness I have thought on extensively is what to do when a teacher is unresponsive. One possible way around this is to have a parent send in a copy of the most recent report card, since this should be itemized by outcome anyway. Part of getting teachers on board is to warm them up in an initial contact describing our service as an extension of their efforts to help their students, and to position them as the ‘experts’ – we are just providing some extra work based on their recommendations. I know I would have welcomed this as a teacher; but there are definitely those out there who would be threatened by it.
Emily
Hi Emily,
I think this is a really intriguing concept, and nicely presented too. I had no idea that tutors were so prevalent – why do 20% of parents who want tutors not get them? Is it a $ thing? Just from your EP I was thinking three things. I think that the video is maybe a little too jampacked. Maybe the opener about parents wanting to spend time with kids and changing modes of assessment could be taken out to save time? I wasn’t sure how they fit into the overall concept. I was also wondering what the tech would look like and how it would work. if schools would be subscribing to this service, I’m wondering about the relationship between schools and tutors; is it a positive one? I’m just thinking, if institutionally subscribe to a private tutoring service to facilitate communication with parents, does that turn (public) schooling into more of a public private partnership (the other ppp…), with tutors having a greater role in pedagogical concerns? The question I have as an EVA is about whether the broader community would be warm to that. In BC, there’s a lot of concern about moving public services to P3s – especially when it comes to essential services.
Hi Allie,
Thanks for the comments. The idea is not for school subscriptions (I don’t think it would fly, since essentially we are extending into what would traditionally be considered teacher’s duties; unfortunately, the reality is that teachers don’t have enough time to create personalized extra work for every student based on what that student and their parents prefer…). The idea was to have parents subscribing to the service. I don’t think that most traditional schools would be open to paying for this. The idea was to target parents, who have already shown a willingness to pay extra for education.
The whole ‘parents want more time with their kids, and don’t understand the school system’ part was to position the product as something that is marketing to parents based on these needs. The second (alienation from the school system) has been an impetus behind seeking tutuoring. The first, though, is basically what differentiates our service; through having the parents working directly with their kids on the material, they are getting more time engaged with their kids, and are not spending additional time taking them to external tutoring services.
… I thought of the ppp connection too… 😉
Emily
Emily,
Great concept! I’m not very familiar with working with children but from my limited experiences with this market, your idea seems valuable. Your pitch was very well researched and persuasive. I had no idea that the tutoring market was so large! I also liked your use of the prezi as your elevator pitch. It enhanced your you tube clip well. Your venture pitch was great and the use of the chalkboard theme is clever. While I was watching your pitch I kept thinking of questions and as soon as I thought of one it was answered. It was just -in- time information for me! The only question I was left with was how do you plan on getting the teachers on board?
I liked the way you approached the making of your venture pitch. I too struggled with making mine. I didn’t think of trying to act, it is a great solution. You sound confident – like you know what you are doing and I didn’t get any feeling that you were a shy person! The only problems I had where your talking was a little fast and with a cold in my head I had some difficulties keeping up.
Hi Tamara,
Getting teachers on board has been an ongoing concern of mine as well while thinking this one through. I think that by initiating contact with a message that basically posits them as the ‘experts’ who are overworked, we send the message that they are a valued part of the process, and that basically we are just looking for a few seconds to click off which outcomes need more work. We will then support their efforts in the classroom through supplemental targeted exercises out of the classroom.
I was thinking that for those who are resistant, there is always the route of asking a parent to send in the last report card, which would have itemized outcomes on it anyway. In addition, students standardized assessments (and any other assessments) should be available to parents from the school if they ask. This is another possibility. It would, however, add time to the process.
Emily
Emerging Venture Analysis: PPP
In order to analyze the potential of the PPP venture, we will consider both the internal and external positives and potential negatives.
Strengths
The PPP venture is a clear product which is flexible to the needs of the varied relationships and types of students; it brings together already existing relationships that are typically segregated due to time constraints. It facilitates the conversion of good intention of the parents and teacher to action. This venture has clear goals for the future which enhance the pitch substantially. In addition to these strengths, it also maintains the learning experience throughout the summer.
Weaknesses
This venture relies on the existing players (parents, teachers, and tutors) taking on additional tasks in order for it to be successful. This inherent reliance on others may increase engagement of those players, but it is still additional task, meaning that the success of the service itself lies in the uptake of the users—a large variable.
Opportunities
This venture fills in a need that exists in all parent/teacher relationship. As parents wish to become more engaged in their child’s education, it is important that that channel be facilitated; an obvious application of modern learning technologies. As well, as tutoring grows (5% per year in the United States), there is a huge market that is currently untapped. By making that engagement process between teachers/tutors/parents easier, this venture is able to tap into that market.
Threats
This venture relies additionally on the growth of private tutoring; according to the pitch, there are many other private tutors appearing with strong client based (Kumon, Sylvain, etc.). The tutors already have established processes, so will be in direct competition.
Based on the changing nature of parent engagement and increasing connectivity, I would recommend this venture for investment.
Dress Rehearsal is a gesture-based sewing instruction application for Apple and Android mobile devices. In the Dress Rehearsal application, beginning sewists will develop and rehearse foundational sewing and dressmaking skills and techniques on a virtual sewing machine before ever setting needle to fabric. In this rich, simulated sewing studio, learners will use the tactile affordances […]
Continue reading Dress Rehearsal: A Gesture-based Sewing Instruction Application Posted in: Week 13: Venture Forum
Hi Allie,
Good job of making the market clear in terms of size of market and type of user – tech savvy yet traditional. You continued to make the market super clear in your venture pitch. I started out quite skeptical of the concept but after reading your report it made a lot of sense. Good luck with this if you are really going to pursue it. Sounds exciting.
– Julie
Thanks very much for your feedback, Julie! I’m particularly happy to read that my idea was compelling and clearly laid out enough to win over a skeptic! (I was also happy to receive your comment; i was quite apprehensive after seeing my post go up in a sea of very academically oriented learning tech ventures that people would look at it and say… sewing!? really!?)
Hi Allie
KUDOS! you are the only person in the ten pitches I watched who actually made an elevator pitch… meaning an in-person, face-to-face pitch in your own voice. As one of our shy members (your post about pseudonyms)
I have to emphasize how amazing this is! I’ve actually helped create three pitches for real entrepreneurs and watched them pitch to real investors. I can’t tell you how important it is that investors see and hear the founder and determine whether they like the person, can work with the person, and trust the person.
Thank-you for doing this! I will definitely review your venture pitch.
danke schoen! The EPs I reviewed early in term were all sweaty-palmed entrepreneurs in front of a camera, and so I didn’t think to do anything else! I appreciate your comments about the importance of affect in these EPs, and thanks for reviewing my VP!.
Hello Allie,
Congrats on a strong elevator pitch and venture pitch. As Julie noted, you did a great job illustrating the size of the market both in people and dollars. I also liked your clear characterization of your potential buyer as “traditional yet tech-savvy.” Well done!
Andrea
Thanks Andrea! It’s funny how we often think of traditional and tech-savvy as being somehow opposed; throughout the course, I kept reflecting about how totally integrated technology is within sewing and crafting communities; with nearly every emerging market we discussed, I found I could see the intersections with lifelong learning so much more clearly than with academic anthropology and art history (what I formally teach). I designed Dress Rehearsal to respond to my own key frustrations with learning to sew (I’m entirely self-taught, and learned through online resources over the last 1.5 years).
Cheers, Allie
Hi Allie,
Great job! Your elevator and venture pitch offer an innovative and attractive product. I am sure that there is a market gap for Dress Rehearsal. As it has been mentioned before, you provided a detailed venture pitch with strong information about the size of the market (speaking of population and money required). I missed information about the competency of the venture’s leaders and advisors (championship). Could you provide information about the members of this venture and how they have become experts on this field?
Congrats on developing a strong and innovative concept.
Angela.
Hi Angela,
Thanks so much for your kind comments! I admit that when I wrote the VP, I didn’t go back to our 2.7 materials on “anatomy of a pitch;” I simply looked at the course requirements page. And am kicking myself a little! I don’t yet have a management team in place, although I think that my *needs* would be someone with good knowledge of web development, and someone with good knowledge about the market in learning applications, and someone with great knowledge of and connections within the overall sewing/crafting market. I’m pretty sure that through my network I have two of those three covered – I know a fantastic web developer, and a fashion designer who teaches garment design and construction at a few of the local fashion schools.
As for my own expertise as venture leader, I’m an educator (doing this MET program, but also having developed and taught post-secondary courses for 8 years) and a sewist. I’m I only began to learn how to sew a year and a half ago, and am entirely self-taught, off of online resources. Turns out that’s how most crafters today learn (Torrey et all 2009). I came up with the idea for Dress Rehearsal when I was working through a technique I learned online – and for the first time wasn’t going back and forth from my computer to the sewing machine, awkwardly trying to piece the two pieces of fabrics together. It was finally a fluid process, and I thought – how about I design a learning program for sewing that’s portable and small enough to be held at the sewing table (i.e. mobile device), and that helps sewists learn by doing – not by reading or showing.
best, Allie
Hi Allie,
Thanks for the information that you provided. I am really messy at sewing, but maybe, by having the experience of Dress Rehearsal, I could be able to learn (I am always enthusiastic about gaming and simulated environments for learning). I think that your idea is really innovative. I watch at my niece having such a good taste on combining colors. She plays with web 2.0 apps to make dresses but have never sewed. I think that she would learn a lot from your product.
Angela.
Elevator pitch assessment
Allie – Dress rehearsal
First Impression: Shows the CEO speaking directly to us, reading is distracting, clever product name
CEO Credibility: Seems confident in her concept and smiles at the end and appears to be an example of her own target market
Management Team: No team is mentioned, but the CEO appears and seems to be her own subject-matter expert for the sewing and m-learning aspect, at least at a high level.
Venture Concept: Gesture-based sewing learning using m-learning devices, including feedback and troubleshooting. Not sure how this would work. Is the sewing with a machine or by hand? Intriguing enough to read more.
Opportunity Space: Young, female, traditional but tech savvy. Addressing $29 billion crafting industry and 12 million 18-34 US women using m-learning devices. Not clear how many young women are sewing… would be a good number to have. No indication of pricing or revenues.
Market Readiness: No description of how this will be marketed or distributed, how to enter the market or how to grow presence.
Competitive Edge: Claimed advantage is m-learning gesture-based advice and troubleshooting.
Exit Strategy: No indication of their target market, its size, or how they will capture it. No indication of what investment is wanted or how it will be repaid.
Overall Investment Status: CEO seems earnest about the concept and defines a broad market. Concept appears lower risk as it’s an m-learning app, however there is likely very little upside for an investor—how many will buy this app and how long will it take to repay me? I don’t know how much cash is asked. Would be interested to read more to see how the crafting market and m-learning market intersect in an m-learning sewing market.
Many thanks for your detailed review of my EP, David. You offer many good points to consider, and if I am to revise my EP, I certainly will take them into account. It’s a new genre for me.
– I was a little disappointed too that i was reading off script more than I would like. Especially because I pride myself on my lecturing/public speaking skills. Given my own time constraints – having well and truly knocked myself out over that Social Analytics presentation the week before – and my and my partner-producer’s difficulties working iMovie that weekend, it was the best I could do (I wanted to do some splicing, and demonstration, but it just wasn’t happening 🙁 ). I realize one could raise one’s finger and object “but in the real world!” My real world is that I had both assignments worth the same % back to back. Not saying that your point isn’t well taken.
– interesting that you wonder if it would be hand or machine sewing. I’ll have to find a way to make it clearer that it would be machine sewing. hand sewing tends to be the province of couture (= really advanced).
– it’s true – it’s difficult to gauge the number of sewists out there, especially in my demographic. IN the VP, I do mention the demographics and numbers of members and monthly unique hits for the two main english-language websites for 18-34 beginner sewists. Perhaps I could really do some sleuthing and find out the sales figures for beginner sewing books. i don’t know if that would be heavily guarded or relatively accessible. Have you any ideas?
– pricing I mention in the VP (4.99, based on other educ virtual apps). It’s true that while I provided numbers of potential users (750,000 Burdastyle members, starting from 0 in 2007)), I didn’t project numbers for how many more members will register with Burdastyle over the next couple years, nor what % might want to buy Dress Rehearsal. I guess… I’m a little in the dark as to how many I could reasonably expect to use Dress Rehearsal. 5%? 10%? Do you have any idea how I might go about working that out?
(Burdastyle is the massively popular sewing website for 18-34 year olds whose open source patterns would be taught on Dress Rehearsal.)
– you ask for some things, that I think are totally reasonable, to include in the EP. Like most, I struggle with doing it in the most succinct possible way. If you have any suggestions for how I might very succinctly include any of these within my pitch, I’m all ears.
Hi Allie,
When I first saw “Sewing” in your title, I got really excited because I love making things too. Although I’m a huge fan of knitting, sewing is another area that I’d like to dig in. I’ve dreamt of making my own clothes but haven’t tried yet because it’s hard to teach myself without help either from a book (traditional way) or from technology (your venture fits perfectly!).
I was a little curious at the beginning (before reading your venture pitch) how Dress Rehearsal was going to compete against other sewing apps or videos (e.g. YouTube) available online, but your clear venture pitch answered this question.
Great work overall!
Deb
Hi Deb,
I know! I learned from books/online resources – am *still* learning a lot! – and it’s really hard.
But go sew! If I can do it, anyone can! Sewing one’s own clothes is awesome. And send me any sewing questions anytime – there are some awesome online resources that I’m more than happy to share!
Allie
Allie Dress Rehearsal – Venture Pitch assessment
CEO Credibility: Founder does not provide description of herself, background, or qualifications.
Management Team: Founder does not describe people involved or existing resources.
Venture Concept: Gesture-based application on Android smartphones teaching women 18-44 how to sew using freely-available patterns. Gestures meant to guide learners through physical actions for handling fabric and sewing by hand and machine. App teaches basic skills missing from online instruction and helps use plentiful but poorly worded patterns
Opportunity Space: Online sewing community over 500,000 members, average household income $70,000. Crafting growing, driven by beginning sewists. Majority self-taught relying on web, challenged to translate instruction into actions. Founder not describe target market share or revenue. Founder assumes “tech savviness” (needs definition) in sewists translates to purchasing smartphones.
Market Readiness: Venture relies on existing technology (mobiles, gesture-interface software, apps) and existing content (sewing patterns, techniques). Touch-gesture input may require significant complex development and pilot-testing. “Vast majority” of users of sewing websites have sewing machine. Why they would practice with mobile rather than their machine? How well does learning on smartphone translate into intricate hand motions for handling fabrics and making stitches? Potential partnerships with pattern designers and websites mentioned but not described. Price of $4.99 high for mobile users and subject to 30% app market cut.
Competitive Edge: Uses touch-gesture technology, potential significant development for application to sewing. Innovation may have high barrier to entry but unclear how well translates into transferrable sewing skills.
Exit Strategy: Founder does not describe initial target market or how to grow, amount of investment, projected revenues, or timelines for return of investment.
Overall Investment Status: Smartphone app relying on individual purchases. Highest selling apps tend to be games. Given app market fee, taxes, cost of goods, etc. how many need to be sold over how many years to recoup a $100k investment with a better return than the stock market? Not clear how founder will leverage partnerships to improve sales. Without demo or scientific backup to connect touch gestures to actual sewing learning, consider this investment high risk and would not pursue it.
Hi Allie,
You have an interesting idea and I particularily like your idea on learning by doing as it touches on some of the educational theory I have been reading and the importance of not removing the learning from context. You describe the idea clearly in your elevator pitch and I found your venture pitch addressed key aspects such as the market and competition.
One comment I have: While your target market is likely females, I would be careful in gendering your pitch as this might imply that men do not like to sew. I don’t doubt that there are more women occupy this market but I am just advocating for inclusion of men into such a pitch and caution gendering that may lead to exclusion. Just a thought on your great idea.
Cheers,
Jay
Hi Jay,
Thanks for your review! I was also thinking a lot about how I targeted women specifically… especially since I’ve studied a lot of feminist theory in graduate school. And because a couple of the powerbloggers are really quite interested in the gendering associated with fashion and sewing – and the huge popularity of retro and vintage 50s patterns. And since one of my favourite sewing bloggers is a man (peter lappin, who writes “male pattern boldness”), and one of the topics that emerges every so often in the online sewingsphere is… do men sew? why do or don’t they?
I was genuinely surprised to find out that women make up 95% of the market share (and that’s the lowest number I found; the other I found was 97%!); craft magazine’s ‘brother’ is Maker (of MakerFaire) magazine has similar numbers of male readers. If this weren’t a business oriented class and venture, I probably would have taken a somewhat more sensitive approach to gender, but given the assignment and audience, I took women to be the norm.
Do you sew?
Allie
Thanks for you response and glad to see your awareness and sensitivity to the matter. I think that even though it is a business context it is important to consider these issues to move past them, even in business. Thanks for presenting the numbers of male readers of a similar magazine.
With regards to sewing, i do not sew myself mainly for lack of time to learn but hopefully in the future that changes. I would be interested in learning (mainly for practical purposes, not “sew” much as a hobby. It would be quite “handy” since I currently have a button that needs to be fastened to my winter coat!
(Sorry for all the plays on words. Been a long day)
Cheers!
Jay
Cheers.
Jay
Allie! Absolutely love it…..Since I am in your target market…it doesn’t surprise me…(well done pointing that out). I couldn’t access your video (I’m in China) but I did read over your venture. I could “read” your enthusisam throughout the paper….and that’s what will sell this App!!!
I think it’s a great idea…and if it happens- pls send me the link. $4.99 is a great price for such a great learning tool. Well done!
Verena:)
Hi Allie,
I think you have a very interesting product. Reading through your VP you seem well researched and it was clear right away what this product was selling and how it would work. I also like the idea of tactile learning how to sew on a tablet or mobile device before moving over to the machine. I have to be honest, I love the idea and concept of sewing but unfortunately I was not provided with the sewing gene. I’m a little sewing inept even with a machine, so the idea of practicing before actually wasting fabric sounds wonderful to me. 🙂
I have a few suggestions for improving your VP. Although you seem really knowledgeable regarding this field I would have liked to know a little more about your background and how you fit into Dress Rehearsal. Also, will you be personally designing the gesture-based interface of your product or how will it actually be developed? The only other addition I might suggest for a future VP is providing any challenges or weaknesses you’re working to overcome. Maybe it’s finding the right person to build the product? Regardless I think you have a great product and best of luck with it! Is this something that you are planning to develop?
Cheers,
Ashley
Hi, Allie. You’re in my top three! I liked your elevator pitch and how unique (yet lucrative) your market was. I was drawn to delve deeper (having a very crafty wife probably helped me visualize some things… especially potential revenue!). Here are some thoughts I had on your idea:
Despite your 18-34 focus, I think there could be significant opportunity in the intermediate / high school market, too. You kept mentioning girls / women as your market, but what better way to increase boys’ interest in sewing (or knitting… more are doing it again now, after decades of not) than to put it on a mobile device. Maybe even make a serious game out of it – rewarding precision and correctness with points / trophies, etc. Home Economics might get a boost in enrolment and fun / attitude towards the course. That being said, I wonder how hard it would be to make your program look real and act realistically (animations / different fabrics, etc.).
Another potential market that I think would be quite large is the cultural one. Imagine preserving craft-based traditions (thinking First Nations especially), so that youth could maintain their culture? I could easily see this also going into Parks Canada programming for classes / visitors.
I thought your pricepoint was very reasonable. Simple games on something like a PS3 often market for $15 – $20, and may have no updates. If your program can be made as good as it sounds, I think you could easily up your price (your market’s pretty affluent, too, after all).
I like the name, you made great points on scaffolding and practice, and I thought you put together a great variety of supportive research.
I’m in!
Stephen
Hello All, My elevator pitch can be found at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nob5EQ3mXbE and the venture pitch at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iWp6KX7OWtk Cheers, Keisha
Continue reading A3 Posted in: Uncategorized, Week 13: Venture Forum
Hi Keisha,
I’m just starting my reviews and your venture captured my interest. It looks like you are proposing a solution that is similar to something we have in the business world called ‘busines intelligence’. I think that you’ve explained your concept very well and have demonstrated the credentials of your team are what is needed to be successful. The pricing model looks reasonable for starting up but I’m wondering if you thought about future upgrades or enhancement potential? I’m also wondering if there is any possibility of partnering with any of the vendors that you identified as competitors e.g. the LMS vendors?
Also, from a risk perspective, I’m wondering if there are any concerns that you need to consider with respect to privacy regulations with respect to any of the data that you will be integrating?
Overall I found your pitch thorough and convincing.
– Julie
Hi Keisha,
Thanks for the pitch! It is very clear what your intended market and venture will achieve. I appreciated your voiceover in that it helped to make a connection with the pitch-er, but perhaps more visual on the screen to match the quality of the narrative could help engage the viewer.
Cheers,
Kristopher
Hello Keisha!
I had a look at your pitches and I must admit that your proposal would solve many problems that exist in schools. I think your elevator pitch is clear and I only had to watch it once to know your idea. My only concern would be from school systems who might say “we already use a SMS and an LMS. Switching to your system would take even more time and effort than we correctly do trying to make our systems talk to each other.” Also, I am aware of plugs that are offered by SMS and LMS companies so that SMS and LMS can talk to each other. This provides the greatest flexibility for school systems because they can choose the SMS they like the best and the LMS they like the best. How would your product be flexible?
Sorry – meant to say “plug-ins” not plugs 🙂
[For some reason, the ‘edit’ button on comments is not available on this blog. So I can’t go back and change it myself…]
Keisha,
Loving the concept! This seems like serious money and such a system would work well with our system. The pitch is clear and to the point and workable. This LMS would be a good investment as it is only a matter of time before education systems globally are revolutionized through learning technologies and online learning. Making one’s name early in the market is always crucial and I hope you will follow up on this initiative.
Everton
Hi Keisha,
Your elevator pitch was very clear, you explained your product well and you placed yourself in a position where you appeared very confident and knowledgeable about the market. From a perspective of an EVA that doesn’t know much about all the features of different LMS & SMS products, I would have liked to have seen at least one example of what these “best features are” that you are referring to in the elevator pitch. Overall Great job. 🙂
Hi Keisha,
I think that your EP is very intriguing and engaging, and I’m keen to learn more. It seems like a really original idea! Like Ashley, I’m wondering if you could maybe provide the tiniest bit more detail about what the ‘best features’ are (and I say tiniest bit of detail because I felt that your EP had a really good level of information). I’m also wondering what the gap is between SMS and LMS that you speak of early on (true confession: have never used an SMS), and whether you could suggest what the benefits would be for end users?
best, Allie
Hi Keisha,
I’ve chosen your presentation to do a detailed review.
I think you really have something strong here and the credentials of your team give me the confidence that your company would be able to succeed. However, I would want to see some issues addressed before I would invest.
I think the pitch to replace two systems with one new and improved system is a hard sell. The preferred, cheaper method, in my experience is to have interfaces built between the systems and/or to build a data warehouse that pulls data from the source and develops unified views of information, typically accessible through a web browser.
This is not to say your new system isn’t a good idea but I wouldn’t see companies that have already invested in two systems as being in the market for a third even if it is much better; at least not without a very convincing argument.
However, it sounds like you have a market of 70% of schools who have not invested in an SMS. I don’t recall seeing an associated statistic for the LMS. So I think there may be a market you just need to focus in to the right one.
Note on presentation format: I think there is a generally accepted rule out there against reading PowerPoint slides to your audience. You could add some compelling images and make your points much stronger. The benefits section is a good example. I needed more convincing about the value to the customer. Maybe you could make a mock-up of an illustration of a unified view of information that the student, teacher or administrator would value.
Good luck with your venture!
Julie
Hi again Keisha,
I wanted to delve deeper into your Venture Pitch and provide some feedback in the form of a brief EVA analysis. As a potential investor, I am looking in your venture pitch for a variety of information:
Entrepreneur confidence?
I was very much impressed with the clarity of both your voice and the organization of your ideas in your video venture pitch. I was beginning to wonder if there was any information about the CEO or other management team people but you did include that near the end of your venture pitch video. It gives me more confidence to know that you are a teacher and a software developer, and that you have experience. I would also like to be made aware of the people in the management team who have business backgrounds and who could lead the financial and business administration aspects of a growing company.
Is it a good product that will be in demand?
You spent a fair amount of time in your venture pitch describing exactly what your product is, the problems it solves, the features, and the advantages to teachers and students and administrators. However, I do have some difficulty envisioning how this database/Admin/LMS hybrid would have Facebook like look and feel. I can see the LMS system doing that okay, but not really the admin part of it. Perhaps an area that you could improve would be to elaborate on your Facebook-like affordances that differentiate your product from the many other similar products in the market.
How big is the potential client base?
In terms of your potential market, I think you are wise to initially target institutions that currently manage this information manually. Your potential client base is vast given that your system could be translated into many languages. However, I would assume that most educational organizations already use digital student and learning management systems. In order for these organizations to even consider switching away from their current product, you will need to demonstrate that your product is a vast improvement, cheaper, easier to maintain, and has no cost or effort to switch over to. That is a fairly tall order. If you can do it, then I think you might have a successful product.
Can the product compete successfully on the market?
It looks like you have examined a variety of other products on the market and one in particular intrigues me: that is the Sycamore product. I had a look at the Sycamore product on their web site and you are right it does sound very similar. In fact, on November 1, 2011, Sycamore announced that they were adding an LMS to their SMS (http://www.prlog.org/11712976-sycamore-education-adds-learning-management-system-to-their-comprehensive-online-school-administration.html). You do mention that your product will have a facebook look and feel but I am still wondering if that would work with the school administration aspect. Also, there are already Facebook type social learning networks available for free to teachers and schools such as Edmodo. I also did a little search online and I found some other similar products that you might want to look at such as eduswift (http://www.eduswift.com/), Caloris Planitia Technologies E-School Management System (http://www.calorisplanitia.com/e-school-management-system.aspx), SharePoint LMS (http://www.sharepointlms.com/), and there were a number of others… I hope that you understand that the point I am making is that your product would need to be paradigm shifting in order to grab clients and potential customers away from these other products that already seem to be effectively in use in many institutions.
Are you honest about challenges?
I was glad to see you openly discuss the challenges to your product near the end of your Venture Pitch video. I agree with all of the challenges you mention but I think that competition is a huge factor in your pitch as well as institutions that already are using software to manage these data. Your product would have to offer a significant difference in cost, ease of use, scalability, support, and capacity that would motivate educational institutions to change from what they are currently using.
Investment risk?
Until I can get a better sense of how this product is radically different from the many other products that do the same or similar functions in the market, I would characterize this as an investment risk and the venture in need of further refinement. I do see potential in your idea but I think perhaps a greater focus on specific markets or organizations might help with competition and marketing; or focus on creating a product that is fundamentally different and infinitely more usable or friendly that is currently in the market.
The elevator pitch for School Manager grabbed my attention and struck me as a product that could be poised to offer a new venture into an existing market. After viewing the venture pitch, I now have a better understanding and appreciation of the venture, along with some concerns.
School Manager, as a product, appears to be very comprehensive and I believe it is worthwhile to merge the realms of a LMS and a SIS. From an administrative perspective this would seem to make sense. However, I’m a bit concerned about the level of adoption that teachers will take. It is vitally important that teachers and students embrace this product. There is some comfort in knowing that the developers recognize the need for familiarity with the end users.
I would have liked to hear more about the initial market where the product will first be sold. I am unfamiliar with the Caribbean in terms of education and sales, and this makes it difficult for me to appropriately gauge the potential for success. Furthermore, while I have confidence in the developers of School Manager, I am wary of the branding that may occur from a made in the Caribbean product. Consumer prejudice, while not supported or rationalized, is nevertheless a reality that I have to consider.
I believe that with some appropriate marketing and branding, School Manager has the potential for success. The financials are very modest, making this a somewhat low-risk, low-reward venture. Combined with my lack of knowledge of the Caribbean market, I cannot approve investment into your venture at this time. I wish you success, and hope that we can speak again when you are looking to expand into Canada or the USA.
Like the Elizabethan impresario Philip Henslowe (performed by Geoffrey Rush in 1998’s Shakespeare in Love) was wont to say: “It will all work out in the end… It’s a mystery”, bringing the Virtual Globe 3.0 project to the ETEC 522 was a thrilling, somewhat dramatic, event – so much fun, I had to upload the project […]
Continue reading The Virtual Globe 3.0 Posted in: Week 13: Venture Forum
Hi Kyle,
Wow! You really caught my attention and had me engaged during the entire pitch! I think it’s great that you included a catchy start and included so many different videos. However I am confused about your pitch and am not exactly sure what your product is? I was also a little thrown off from the music and because some of the words were very small I had a hard time understanding what you were pitching.
Jenaca
Great feedback, Jenaca,
Happy to hear that I caught your attention, and now I’ve got to make clear what it is I am pitching. Good news with this class blog is that I can upload an updated version of the elevator pitch, with less text, more messages that get to point of selling the virtual place I want to design, and also turn down the background music a few notches – this last feature came as a surprise to me, as it is built in with the “Make a Trailer” feature of iMovie ’11, but I am sure that the volume can be adjusted.
Thanks for you input,
Kyle
The elevator pitch doesn’t really give an idea about the market or money to be made by the product. It gives an idea of what the product is and who is making it, but I’m not sure whether there is any money to be made here (or if there is a demand).
Emily
Good point, Emily,
I seem to be marketing myself more than the program I want to design, and have not aimed at any specific investors: just the video game/web & app designers who are looking to expand their resources to include educational content. While I am still a bit in the dark as to where the money will come from, the Associate Dean of Arts & Social Sciences at a local university assures me that there is education money out there, The main reason I am taking this course is to find out for myself from where the money will come.
As for selling “Shakespeare”, perhaps one of the most recognizable names in literature, there have been roughly four centuries of interest, and definite peaks and troughs within the field of education. My main point of the pitch, which I will continue to tinker with until I can make my message more clear, is that with the right digital tools and ingenuity for the way students engage with Shakespeare, the demand will come from the younger audiences to experience the plays as performance, rather than works of confusing text. Please continue to comment as my pitch evolves, and hopefully addresses yours and others’ concerns.
Thank you,
Kyle
Interesting elevator pitch Kyle – loved the dramatic pictures and music – very creative! I did have to go into the Venture Pitch to see what you were selling. Virtual players is an interesting concept and one that may assist in classroom education. You developed some really great graphics with accompanied music. Once I saw a virtual exhibit which included some famous chairs – you could sit down in Marie Antoinette’s chair and look out the window and see exactly what she would have seen back then. Your venture concept made me think of that.
Thanks Deb,
It is really exciting to see where virtual and augmented can take learners, including Marie Antoinette’s chair or amongst the groundlings at the Globe Theatre. I’m really surprised that no one has yet marketed a virtual Globe outside of Second Life. One German company, Welt der Wunder, seems to be moving in the right direction with their augmented theatre, seen in this YouTube clip but I am more interested in promoting the plays, rather than just the building itself.
Thank you for the feedback,
Kyle
Hi Kyle,
I enjoyed your elevator and venture pitch. Certainly your venture has a market gap and the product is innovative. The dramatic tone of both pitches makes the product more attractive. I missed more detailed information about the competency of the venture’s leaders, their competitors, the amount of money required for investing in this project, the way in which the venture will receive incomes, and the time-lapse expected to receive them.
Cheers,
Angela.
Hello Angela,
One of the reasons that detailed information (about leaders, competitors and returns on investment) is missing from the pitches is, quite frankly, they were not there. Globe 3.0 is truly a start-up business, and while someone with more financial savvy could make predictions about where this venture will go, I am testing the waters with these pitches, and pleased to see a few positive reaction. While most reslies seem to like the style of presentation, I also understand that both are lacking the convincing content to sell my idea. I appreciate everyone for posting thoughtful comments, and I am currently working on updates for the pitches, which I will post presently.
Thanks for sharing,
Kyle
Hi, Kyle.
The production values of your pitch were great. It was entertaining, so I was hooked. I was shocked to notice at the end that it (unfortunately) was 30% longer than the maximum length allowed, though. Too bad… I liked the music, images, fonts, clips… they fit nicely together. Perhaps if you took out of some of the textless clips (that sometimes seemed unrelated), you could have been closer to sixty seconds.
I was curious as to why – for an online Shakespearean venture – you chose the styles of things you did. The B-movie / alien / cold war vibe, I think, detracts from viewers understanding what you’re pitching. Some of your voiceless scenes didn’t, I think, suit the real essence of what you were trying to say. They came across more suited to the style of clip you created.
In the end, I was emotionally won over. I was entertained. Unfortunately, I felt a little confused / misled, though, and didn’t have enough to make an informed decision on what I might or might not invest in.
Cheers,
Stephen
Woo hoo, emotionally won over, you say?
Thank you for the feedback, and I was really happy when I found out that iMovie ’11 had trailer templates, and while it would have been tempting to pitch the project as a romantic comedy or James Bond movie, I like that “film noir” had thrilling music as well as enough text to get the message across. Thanks to yours and other comments, I have retooled the teaser trailer – but am still not able to get it down to a minute – and provided a clearer message for potential investors. Hope that the link to this blog entry makes it clear that they can find out more facts after being entertained and won over as well.
All the best,
Kyle
Hi Kyle,
You caught my attention as well. You did a great job on both the elevator and venture pitch. I especially loved your “teaser trailor” version of the elevator pitch.
One thing I wasn’t quite sure is what your venture is exactly about. However, I was able to figure it out after watching your venture pitch twice and reading the coursemates’ comments. It’s a very interesting venture to me even though Shakespear is not the topic in my area of teaching. You did a good job on adding graphics, images, news clips, and videos to the venture pitch.
How is your product unique? How is it different from your competitors?
Deb
Thanks Deb, glad you asked!
Most of the Internet presentation of Shakespeare’s plays have either been through YouTube or SecondLife, and generally not the same as watching the play performed live. The clip that I included of Ben Crystal reciting the opening chorus of Henry V (both in Received Pronunciation and the Original Pronunciation) gives the Virtual Globe 3.0 the advantage of getting the words right. The whole project should seem like a Panoramic Ball Cam had been sent back in time to capture the performances (as well as the audience reactions) at the old Globe Theatre of Shakespeare’s London during one of his plays. Difficult? yes. Expensive? very! Possible? let’s see if any investors are interested.
I appreciate your thoughts on this project,
Kyle
Kstooshnov,
Your pitch was quite appealing and exciting. It captured my attention from the beginning to the end. The sound track and sequencing of ideas were good. Virtual player is good venture that could attract many users. I think it will bring flexibilities and interest to the teaching and learning of literature or English. However, I think your pitch lacked some key elements such as market target group, investment returns and competitors.
Hello Kyle,
These were interesting pieces to watch, in part because you’ve woven together so many visual resources. Your elevator pitch piqued my curiosity, but left me a bit confused about your venture. I agree with Stephen’s comments on some of the scenes; I thought a shorter version would have served just as well.
Your venture pitch was a small theatrical work (or should I call it ‘play’?). If I were investing in a venture like this, I would want to know that you had the dramatic chops to pull it off – and also preview your presentation and theatrical style – and you’ve given us a window into that. The clips from CNN succinctly illustrated the continuing relevance of Shakespeare, and the clip of Mary Hartman of Bard on the Beach really drove home the idea that Shakespeare should be fun, and that youth are generating new language just as Shakespeare and his contemporaries were. Ms. Hartman was very engaging and convincing, obviously brings a wealth of experience to the venture, and she inspired a lot of confidence in this would-be investor.
It wasn’t until about 6 minutes in that I understood what your venture is, and providing that context earlier would have helped me to more fully appreciate some of the ‘support’ you presented for your viewpoint. I appreciate the artful presentation of your pitch, and you have convinced me of your passion for Shakespeare, but I wasn’t sure how you were actually going to pass that along or foster that with students. Are the students the virtual players, or are they the audience? What technologies and media would be involved – for example, is it mostly audio, or video, or text-based?
This is a really interesting and engaging concept, and I’d be interested to see this it in action.
Andrea
Hello Kyle,
As others have already mentioned, your pitch was very engaging. The music was very dramatic and reflected your dramatic content; I like this concept of using the theme of your product within your pitch, even though I am not sure if from a business perspective it would impress ‘the suits’ :-).
However, I also agree that I did not get an idea of your problem and solution (exact product) or what I as an investor would be investing in or if I want to invest for that matter. Perhaps using some text with blitz of such information would be useful and/or a shot clip of you highlighting the key elements, in keeping with your dramatic theme of course.
I got more of an idea of your product from your venture pitch and was very interested, particularly with the visuals at the end looking at the potential of global online creation and immersion with persons across the globe. Therefore, it is essential that you define your target group because you could have so many. It could even go commercial and a potentially great social network activity. Also, I did not really get an idea of how the product will actually work: how users would access your product, your market, market share, key players and experience, competence to deliver and sustain/innovate your product and how I as an investor could make money.
I hope you do continue on this. Would love to see the final version and your launch 😉
Kerry-Ann
Hey Kyle,
I must say that I saw a great deal of potential in the visual and theatrical elements of of your pitch. I enjoyed the initial narrative you began with the site of the original Globe theatre on Gmaps and then traveling to Vancouver. From this point on I felt you could’ve built on Shakespeare’s worldly appeal and today’s technology to state the benefit from your product. But, I’m afraid, like others, I was unsure what the product was and how I could be involved.
I like your above comment about the web providing an organic environment for changing posts and content and I would very much like to see a later version that truly details what your product is about.
Andrew
Before you publish your posting, please make sure that you select a category (eg. Introductions) as well as assign some meaningful tags (keywords).
mcquaid 6:48 pm on November 27, 2011 Permalink | Log in to Reply
To those coming here after me, I had to download the file attached to the first link to see the elevator pitch.
Jay 10:56 am on November 28, 2011 Permalink | Log in to Reply
Sorry about that. I have changed it. Thanks for letting me know.
Deb Giesbrecht 4:47 pm on November 29, 2011 Permalink | Log in to Reply
Hey Jay,
Loved your elevator pitch – looks very professional- especially for someone who says he is not so tech-savvy! The green economy is certainly an expanding market and one that holds a lot of potential and sustainability. Great idea about collaboration and network sharing. It appears to be a well thought out venture with great market potential – not sure from your pitch if it is a for-profit organization or more of a social platform – either way I would still invest in it!
Jay 8:27 pm on November 29, 2011 Permalink | Log in to Reply
Thanks Deb. I should have made it clearer in theelevator pitch and venture proposal. pitch is a social platform bringing social and organizational value to groups/institutions that invest and would not benefit financially. So I tried to allude to it being a social venture but should have been clearer about this. Thanks for the comments.
bcourey 5:28 pm on November 29, 2011 Permalink | Log in to Reply
Hi Jay,
I was intrigued to see a venture about a municipality instead of a school board! Nice change. You are proposing an interesting concept – the merging of minds from quite a wide range of stakeholders – from students to city planners all with the same purpose in mind – meeting the city’s goals of sustainability. Too often the students are omitted. Networking is always a great strategy. As a manager of a city department, that is often very entrenched in their “silos” of bureaucracy, I wonder if you would get buy in from all stakeholders to participate in this venture. It would be wonderful if they would! I also worry about the politicization of city management…you could be just one election away from closure…but maybe Vancouver is much better at long-term visioning!
Brenda
Jay 8:34 pm on November 29, 2011 Permalink | Log in to Reply
It may very well be the case that the not all stakeholders choose to participate. The City may choose to not invest directly, but would be invested indirectly through CityStudio, which is a project that while receives funding from the local government, is not run by them. I believe if post-secondary institutions also invested and contributed partner courses to the program this help maintain a balance and minimize risk of politicization by city staff. The election issue is a weakness, however if stakeholders and the venture took advantage of the re-election and used the next three years to build and obtain non-government investment (universities, businesses, community) the project could become large enough and invested in by too many different groups too be simply dismantled by a new politcal party. But you do point out a weakness of this venture and the narrow, unstable market it attempts to enter. Thanks for the comments.
Keisha Edwards-Hamilton 8:04 pm on November 29, 2011 Permalink | Log in to Reply
Jay,
I love the green concept presented in the elevator pitch. Problems and solutions were easily identified and it looks very professional. However, I think your pitch was too long considering that it should be a presentation lasting for no more than one minute maximum. I think the transitions could be speed up as you were talking very slowly throughout the presentation. Otherwise, it’s a great concept that I would pursue.
Keisha
Jay 8:43 pm on November 29, 2011 Permalink | Log in to Reply
Hi Keisha,
Thanks for the comments. The elevator pitch was one of the weaknesses of my assignment and I wasn’t overly satisfied with how it turned out. You are right that its too long and your suggestion to speed up transitions and speak faster would help decrease the length. I was worried about speaking too fast and people not being able to understand what it was about. Thanks for your critique.
hall 2:13 am on November 30, 2011 Permalink | Log in to Reply
Jay,
I think cityConnex is a good idea. The concept of connecting all components would definitely maximize efficiently and as a result provide more revenue for Canada. I like the sequence and graphic of your pitch, they were good. However, I think you could condense the materials and reduce the time of display for each slide (12 seconds to 5 seconds or 6 seconds). Some of slides were not synchronize with your slides. Overall it is a good venture, well done.
Jay 3:58 pm on November 30, 2011 Permalink | Log in to Reply
I had a little difficulty with getting everything synchronized and video and media is not my strong point unfortanetly. Thanks for comments and I will take them into consideration for future work.
jenaca 3:17 am on November 30, 2011 Permalink | Log in to Reply
Hi Jay,
I really enjoyed your pitch and loved the green concept you presented. I think you effectively portrayed the problems and solutions as well as statistics that caught my eye. I like how your product targets a global economy and not just one specific group. My only suggestion would be to shorten your pitch, however, I completely understand how difficult this is when trying to include necessary information!!
Great Job,
Jenaca
Jay 3:57 pm on November 30, 2011 Permalink | Log in to Reply
Thanks for the comments. The pitch was too long I agree. The market is actually very narrow as the venture is for a network connecting an existing project here in Vancouver called CityStudio (see http://citystudiovancouver.blogspot.com/ if interested). I added the global market in the beginning to show the existing market for green economy but I am attempting to enter a local market through providing a service I think would benefit this project.
Thanks for the comments.
Jay
carmen 1:37 pm on November 30, 2011 Permalink | Log in to Reply
Hi Jay,
Great job on the pitch – the graphics are very effective. I’m convinced by your pitch that having a centralized “studio” in the virtual space in addition to the existing physical space can really help collaboration between all partners. I wonder what would be the affordances of this of CMS), and what might be the cost of building and maintaining one.
carmen
Jay 2:11 pm on November 30, 2011 Permalink | Log in to Reply
Hi Carmen,
You raise good questions about my venture and one of its weaknesses. I specifically avoided financials because they were not a requirement and I have little background in areas such as investment return, cost-benefit analysis, or other financial considerations however admit this would have strengthened the venture considerably and would likely be required should this idea be taken seriously.
I know little about the costs of implementing or starting up networks. I suppose I could have done more research into this. I suggested that these could be minimized by having CityStudio recruit IT or communications students to help with design and logistics. But I am unsure of costs but would be curious to find out and will look into it further once I have a little more time. Thanks for the comments.
Jay 4:05 pm on November 30, 2011 Permalink | Log in to Reply
A note on my venture:
I think I have confused my audience with my elevator pitch. CityConneX (my proposed venture) is not attempting to enter a global market, although this would be possible but would be dependent on many factors so unlikely. Rather it is a centralized network for an existing inter-institutional Vancouver-based project called CityStudio (see http://citystudiovancouver.blogspot.com/ if interested). I was unsure how to get this across in the limited time and instead I think I focused on the features of the system rather than focusing on what it is and the market it targets. I appreciate all your comments as they have made me aware of this error.
Thanks
Jay
I hope this might clear things up for any future reviewers.
schiong 8:37 pm on November 30, 2011 Permalink | Log in to Reply
Hi Jay,
I like the project.
Yes, the funding could come from the government (directly or indirectly).
Since different Universities are involved, is it possible to get funding from them ?
Actually, there are several CMS open source software. Are you planning to use any of those ?
Jay 10:13 am on December 1, 2011 Permalink | Log in to Reply
Hi Steve,
Thanks for the comments and questions. With regards to universities, participating institutions would be approached for funding and the amount would be dependent on whether the institution is participating through partner courses, network courses (or both).
With regards to CMS this is where my tech weaknesses are revealed. I thought about this after completion and realized that I should have provided discussion around this. The original thought was to that software be created so it could be tailored to fit the needs of the project and all stakeholders involved. However reflecting upon this, this might be an expensive route to go and it may be better to research and use existing software that would be flexible enough to incorporate needs and wants of this very hetergenous group. This would be much less expensive, I would think, as it there would be no costs associated with development. Thus minimizing investment required at start-up. Thanks for the thought provoking question. Something I also was struggling with.
Jay
khenry 9:05 am on December 3, 2011 Permalink | Log in to Reply
Hi Jay,
Thank you for this addition to the fold. It is a well needed venture not just for this instance but in other instances connecting business, schools, projects and lessons learnt. Check out this site http://www.idea.org/blog/ presenting a network for connecting persons on projects where they share ideas and develop together.
See below for my extended EVA.
Elevator Pitch: I figured out that you were doing a not for profit venture and welcomed the opportunity for an alternative analysis. I agree that more clarity is needed as to the nature of the venture (profit vs. not for profit) and where/how investors would be positioned.
Interestingly, I do not mind not see CEO et al in elevator pitches but funnily enough because your venture is about people I felt like seeing people incorporated or perhaps some visuals of who or what you are connecting. I liked your tone, very neutral and engaging. Very good timing with your voice and visuals but yes as you already said it is a bit too long.
In both your elevator pitch and your venture pitch I think you should start with the problem earlier and from there you flow into your solution and then background.
Venture Pitch
Team: More discussion of the team and their competence to lead the project would add weight to your pitch.
Venture: The problem and solution are clearly stated but as I said above think the problem could be stated at the start more succinctly and then move from there. The venture is an attractive one in connecting stakeholders, a collaboration space and ideas and lessons sharing within a specific project setting.
Market: The target market is clearly defined, stakeholders within the Vancouver City studio project on multiple levels: schools, business and community organizations.
Market Readiness: A step by step process of the project implementation is given. The use of online content management systems and networks within a blogging sphere is ideally chosen for the nature of the venture.
Competitive Advantage: Information regarding benefits is presented. However, competitive advantage is not clearly articulated or capitalized on. Benefits to investors are mentioned but even though you are proposing a not for profit venture I believe that you could organise information for investors who would like to partner could see exactly how they could contribute and/or benefit. For example identification of needs and communicating and operating set up costs et al., where persons might contribute monetarily et al. and benefits such as corporate responsibility in community development etc., cutting green costs, and publicity (there was some mention of the latter two).
Exit Strategy: Information on strategies to attract investors and users is needed.
Good job overall. I hope it goes well!
Kerry-Ann
themusicwoman 9:54 pm on December 3, 2011 Permalink | Log in to Reply
Dear Jay,
Won’t go over again what people have already said but will say I found your project to be very professionally laid out and organized. Kinda interesting to be late on this review as I find the comments and your post to pull the picture together for me very nicely. Again, always nice to have all the info after, right? lol.
Thanks for the post.
Michelle