Peer Review of Application Package for Esteban

TO:                 Esteban Margaron, English 301 Student Writer                                                                                                                                      FROM:           Christina Hruby, English 301 Student Reviewer                                                                                                                                      DATE:             August 10, 2020                                                                                                                                                                              SUBJECT:     Review of  Application Package

Dear Esteban,

I hope this email finds you well and that you are advancing towards the assignment deadlines at a comfortable pace. Thank you for submitting the application package. It was an enjoyable read. Strengths of the document include good organization of information, attractive layout, extensive detail, and the presentation of a wide range of skills and experience. Revision of sentence structure, verification of tone for professional requests, and attention to content requirements would improve the final draft.  Please consider the following feedback during revision:

First Impressions: The package is well developed. A vast list of experience provides the reader with a substantial feel for the applicant’s capabilities. Details included for each project and experience showcase the writer’s insight and precision.

Organization:

• Each document of the package is clearly introduced.
• A brief background orients the reader effectively.
• Sections are well labeled and neatly organized.

Content:

1. Job Advertisement:
   • Suitable posting selected. Good match to applicant’s expertise.
   • Appropriate MLA referencing included.
2. Résumé:
   • Skills: Situating this section at the top of the résumé draws attention to the fact that the applicant meets the requirements of the position. Excellent starting point.
   • Personal Projects:
     • Avoiding the use of pronouns in the résumé is recommended to maintain a professional tone.
       • Example: 2D ‘Deep Sea’ Arcade Shooter section: Consolidated my understanding of OOP principles…
     • Highlighting that the applicant pursues projects in the field of computer development during personal time shows passion for the industry and self-motivation.
   • Academic Projects: Substantial detail provided explaining how query engine and database system are used. Defining whether the projects were to create or modify existing system may demonstrate range of abilities.
   • Work Experience:
     • Important skills such as communication and decisiveness are advantageously highlighted in McDonald’s position.
     • The abbreviation CS accompanies the teaching assistant position. If CS is an abbreviation for computer science, writing it in the longer form may draw more attention to the pertinence of the position.
     • Listing leadership, organization, and problem-solving as competencies refined in the teaching assistant position could notify employers of the applicants potential for advancement.
   • Education:
     • An impressive list of accomplishments.
     • Including the name of university where applicant is studying provides additional information to employers.
   • Missing Elements:
     • Objective
     • References
3. Requests for Letters of Reference:
   • Requesting the reader’s permission to be listed as a reference may cause confusion resulting in the reader simply waiting to be contacted by a human resources agent. Specifically requesting that the reader write a letter of reference, will clarify the need to produce a document.
   • Attaching a copy of the résumé to the email is helpful to the writer of the reference letter. It will refresh the writer’s memory regarding important dates and provide additional background information.
   • Requesting a completion date for the letter of reference will ensure that the applicant receives the document on time.
   • Specifying the address where the reference letter should be sent will avoid unfortunate mix-ups.

Layout/Visual:

• Good use of bolding and underlining in résumé to emphasize sections and topics.
• Bullets organize lists of details neatly.
• Applying consistent use of either capital or minuscule lettering will add uniformity. For example:
  • Skills section: Technologies/frameworks.
• Including an objective and a references section complies with résumé template instructions.
• Correct formatting style for functional résumé is applied.

Tone: The email messages are very casual, implying that the writer and reader have a relationship that is based on friendship as well as employment. If readers of the email requests hold supervisory positions, a slightly more professional tone may be required to express esteem. The cover letter has a friendly tone. Although the use of the pronoun “I” is acceptable in a cover letter, reducing the frequency of its application, especially at the beginning of a sentence, will add variety to the sentence structure, reduce the word count, and add a professional tone. The following are some examples and suggested alterations:

• I have since been able to enrich myself with a variety of experiences throughout my university courses and work as a software engineering teaching assistant, but also as a passionate self-learner and programming hobbyist
  • University course work, position as software engineer teaching assistant, programming hobbyisme, and a passion for self learning have enriched my expertise in the field.
• I have had a multitude of opportunities to exercise my abilities in SQL, C, C++, Java, and TypeScript/ JavaScript, as well as the communication skills required to collaborate effectively in a team environment, as most assignments and projects are partner or group based.
  • Frequently making use of SQL, C, C++, Java, and TypeScript/JavaScript abilities and communication skills, I provide support and collaborate effectively in team environments.

Grammar/Typos:

• Both present and past tense are used in the body of the résumé. Although phrasing in one tense can sometimes be tricky, it brings uniformity to the document. For example:
  •  Although a lot of the work is manual and quickly becomes second nature, clear and efficient communication was always a necessity, as I worked in the kitchen with 2-3 other coworkers, and we all heavily relied on each other’s actions.
• Editing for a few minor punctuation errors will bring polish to the document. The following is an example in which a colon was used instead of a period at the end of the first sentence:
  • I have developed a variety of personal projects: Last summer I implemented a responsive, full stack Node.js/Express web app that runs web scrapers to gather rental listings from various popular rent websites in Vancouver based on user query.
• Although bullet points allow for efficient listing of information, some phrases in the résumé are complete sentences requiring a period. The Rent Scraper Web App section is an example:
  • Developed a full-stack web app that uses multiple asynchronous web scrapers to gather Vancouver rental listings from popular websites for searching with customer user filters, in a single interface (period omitted)
• Using shorter sentences can emphasize important points more effectively and deliver concise messages to the reader. For example:
  • I have also worked as a computer science teaching assistant, and this is yet another job that tested my communication skills,
    although from a different angle – I had to analyze and discuss issues that students had with software construction/ OOP, dissect their bugs, lead labs, or assist lectures on a daily basis.
    • Suggestion: Working as a computer science teaching assistant tested my communication skills in a different manner. This position required lecturing, laboratory demonstrations, and troubleshooting discussions related to software construction/OOP and bug dissection.
• Typically, a space following a slash is only inserted when breaking up lines of a poem/song/play or to separate multi-word terms. Revising the text to remove the spaces would comply with typographical common practice.

Concluding Comments: The application package is an impressive document. The applicant is presented competently and professionally, emphasizing accomplishments that are pertinent to the job posting. With the following small adjustments, the application package will be even stronger:

• Including an objective and a references section to the résumé.
• Editing for minor punctuation and typographical errors.
• Adjusting of sentence structure to reduce word count and increase clarity.
• Revising text to ensure uniformity of tense (past or present) and reduce use of pronouns.

It was a pleasure reviewing this document. I hope the suggestions are helpful in completing the assignment. Please let me know if you have any questions or comments.

Thank you.