Good day 301;
Writing Tip: Avoid pronouns: me/ I/ you/ your/
Try to edit out as many pronouns as possible – this will increase the use of nouns (which is good because nouns ‘name’ and provide detail and improve conciseness).
Take a look at this example:
- What an effective writing team means to me…
Rewrite: Description of an effective writing team …
- My background and the value that I intend to bring to the team …
Rewrite: Previous experiences and academic values …
Note how replacing pronouns with nouns provides details.
- “What …. means to me” / becomes a “description”
- “I intend to bring” / becomes ‘academic values’
Writing Tip: Keep your eye on too many unnecessary words. For example:
“I am currently an undergraduate at the University of British Columbia majoring and pursuing a bachelor’s degree in Anthropology. Along with my major in Anthropology comes the strength of writing various research papers within the field (36 words).
Rewrite:
“I am currently an undergraduate at the University of British Columbia majoring in Anthropology, a degree which has considerably strengthened my skills with research writing (24 words).
Example:
“Throughout my undergraduate experience, I have been able to strength my writing skills and communication abilities. I often create presentations for classes involving many anthropology or archaeology topics, as well as I present at BC Ferries as a trainer to new hires. I run both new hire orientations, classroom days and update training. I have also taken courses within BC Ferries to refine my skills in adult higher education as presenting within a corporate level (75 words).”
Rewrite:
As a student of Anthropology, I have developed excellent writing and communication skills. As an employee, I have participated in adult higher education courses and I have trained new hires, running both orientation and updating sessions (38 words).
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