TO: Jie Su, ENGL 301 Student
FROM: Kathryn Simone, ENGL 301 Student
DATE: June 9, 2020
SUBJECT: Review of your Database Management System Definition Assignment
I have reviewed the first draft of your definitions assignment. Thank you for your hard work in your contribution to the exercise. My initial impression is that your work is clear, concise, and gives the reader an informative glimpse into database management systems.
Allow me to offer you the following suggestions:
Purpose & Audience: Although you did note that the purpose of this blog post is to “give people with no computer background a better understanding via the defining of the DBMS”, the instructions for this assignment included “defining a reading situation”, such as defining a concrete example of an audience along with their interests and their field of study. I suggest adding a concrete example, such as a high school programming class, or a group of software interns who will be working with a database management system.
Comprehensibility: Since this should allow people with no computer background to understand a database management system, I recommend using less technical language and more concrete examples (i.e a highly straightforward, simplified analogy of a database — perhaps a phone book that contains individuals’ names and phone numbers, whereby you can look up their name when you have a phone number, and look up their phone number when you have their name). I recognize that databases are highly complex and have many components, but a simple example and analogy allows the reader to picture more clearly what a database is and how it can be used.
Visuals: This visual allowed me to visualize and comprehend databases more clearly. However, visuals should be well labeled (i.e Figure 1 Description of a simple Database Management System), and this figure is a bit blurry and hard to read (perhaps replace it with a similar image that has clearer/larger text).
Works Cited: Your works cited section has some minor issues, including grammatical issues (spelling of April, missing spaces, missing period). Further, the instructions for the assignment say no less than 3 citations. Try to follow the suggested MLA principles exemplified here.
For example, your citation:
Arsenault, Cody, “The Pros and Cons of 8 Popular Databases” Keycdn.com KeyCDN,20 Arpil2017, https://www.keycdn.com/blog/popular-databases
should read:
Arsenault, Cody. “The Pros and Cons of 8 Popular Databases”. KeyCDN, 28 April 2017, https://www.keycdn.com/blog/popular-databases. Accessed 31 May 2020.
Overall, your assignment provides a strong picture of database management systems. I hope you have found my recommendations helpful in your completion in the remainder of this assignment. Please do not hesitate to contact me should have any questions regarding my review, or if you need any further guidance to complete this assignment.
(Link to original assignment: https://blogs.ubc.ca/engl301-98a-2020sa/2020/06/05/technical-definition-database-management-system/)
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