TO: Kathryn Simone, ENGL 301 Student
FROM: Jie Su, ENGL 301 Student
Date: June 10, 2020
Subject: Peer Review of Technical Definition – Algorithm
Hi Kathryn, thank you for choosing a great term to explain. I think this term is a bit vague for many people. At the same time, the overall structure of your article is evident, especially the pictures and examples you give, which makes this vague term immediately clear and understandable. Thank you for your work. Based on my understanding of these three forms of definitions, I give some suggestions in terms of the aspects of organization and content, hoping to provide you with some inspiration and recommendation. We can discuss and improve together.
Format and Organization
1.General
When we are doing technical writing, we should eliminate contractions. I see that you have written “it’s” and “let’s” in many places. If you can avoid contractions, it will be more formal.
2.Grammar
- The sentence from your definition: “For this assignment I will be using the word “algorithm”, and will define the term through the use of parenthetical, sentence and expanded definitions.”
Firstly, I think “for this assignment” is an adverbial modifier, we should include a comma. Secondly, there are two verbs to be together; we should make “and” to connect them without a comma symbol. In case my explanation is not that clear, I make another version based on my description as below.
For this assignment, I will be using the word “algorithm” and will define the term through the use of the parenthetical, sentence, and expanded definitions.
- The sentence from your definition: “For every temperature reading, print “below freezing”, if the temperature is below 32, and print “above freezing”, if the temperature is above 32.”
This sentence is easy to understand, but it lacks a subject noun if we strictly test it from the aspect of technical writing.
- The sentence from your definition: “Algorithms are a critical part of our world today, and is simply a concrete set of steps for accomplishing a task.”
Since the sentences before and after “and” share the same subject, we can use “and” to connect them without using the comma symbol.
3.Citation
- It looks like your format is APA. So I will give my suggestions based on the APA format. Because your reference is a website reference, you should add a specific time and date, because according to the information I found, if there is a post date on the website, APA requires that you add a particular date. I searched for some examples online, and hope to give you some specific concepts.
Mukherjee, S. (2016, November 17). How far can we push the limits of human life? Scientists explore the edges of our morality. Retrieved from https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/wdj7qz/how- far-can-we-push-the-limits-of-human-life.
- In-text citation: You lack some in-text citation. I found that I also had made the same mistake and did not do in-text citations as well. It is good to catch them during peer review.
Content
1. Parenthetical Definitions
According to the requirements in the textbook, parenthetical definitions is just a word or a phrase. Your phrase chosen for the parenthetical definition is well explained, but the content of the follow-up sentence is too much. Because parenthetic definitions refer to the content enclosed in parentheses, if our text is too much, it will be very lengthy.
2.Sentence Definitions
As shown in the textbook, it requires parenthetic definitions as a beginning, then followed by the features that distinguish it from other terms in that general class, called as distinguishing features. I see that you use an example as a follow-up, which can indeed show the nature of this class to some extend but adding a summary sentence to indicate that its nature feature will better meet this requirement and make the audience to distinguish it from other classes clearly.
3.Expended Definitions
- Algorithm’s Global View
Because your historical interpretation is mainly for the description of algorithms in the mathematical sense, but your target group is students with interest in programming. My understanding is that you want to explain to them algorithms in the field of computer science. If you can give some algorithm development history in computer science algorithms, it will be closer to this topic and more in line with the needs of the target audience.
- The Transition between History and the Condition
There is no connection between a mathematical algorithm history and the computer science algorithm’s conditions. If the whole topic can carry out around this computer algorithm, then the transition is not required because the topic is the same, but now the history I see is an algorithm in the field of mathematics, and readers may have doubts. This time it would be better if there was a good transition.
- Important Algorithm
In my understanding, the algorithms in the computer field are specific to different problems and have one or several ways to solve the problem. One of the most prominent characteristics of computer algorithms is that there are some fixed algorithm structures for specific issues. For example, the DP algorithm is for solving the problem of repeated calculation of sub-problems. I think if it is for school students’ definition of some terms, giving some cases and supporting some specific algorithm structure area to solve, which will make them more interested.
Conclusion
Your definitions are simple and clear to explain what is an algorithm, which is an excellent explanation based on your audience. I hope my suggestion can provide you with some inspiration, especially in the grammar part, because my understanding of grammar may just found on the requirements of the subject, predicate, and object learn from the textbook. I hope to communicate with you to discuss our understanding so that I can improve myself as well.
Link to the original assignment:https://blogs.ubc.ca/engl301-98a-2020sa/2020/06/05/unit-13-technical-definitions-2/
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