Peer Review of Sydney Dunn’s Formal Proposal

To: Sydney Dunn

From: Zachary Goldman

Date: June 27th, 2020

Subject: Review of Formal Report Proposal


First Impressions:

I have reviewed your Formal Report Proposal as outlined under Unit 2:1 in the course schedule. The idea behind this proposal is sound and I look forward to reading the results of the project. However, there are a significant number of issues which I’ve outlined below, please review them before going forward.


The project proposal is well organized in a systematic manner. I appreciated the bold font for each section.


The introduction is effective in describing the location and framing the idea behind the project. However, there some minor edits which need to be addressed before delving into some larger questions.

  • The phrase “more and more”  should be removed because it’s redundant.
  • The phrase “like most businesses” is presumptuous. Alternatively, being more specific about the kind of business would help alleviate this issue. Changing the word “businesses” to “coffee shops”, would be more specific.

Here are some larger questions with respect to the introduction:

  • What is the role of Instagram in business/customer relationships? A sentence which refers to prior research on this issue would be helpful.
  • What kinds of content does the Great Dane Instagram currently update followers on? A sentence which draws a connection between what is currently being posted versus what should be being posted would make the introduction clearer.

Statement of Problem

The statement of the problem does a good job explaining that Great Dane’s engagement with social media has been inconsistent, but needs to be discussed in more detail with regards to why that is a problem. Questions and suggestions are outlined below.

  • What need will consistent engagement with social media fulfill for Great Dane? There needs to be more explanation of what consistent engagement will mean for Great Dane.
  • Explain the purpose of social media is business relationships with customers. This suggestions hearkens back to the introduction. There needs to be a primer about the the impact of social media on business so that the problem outlined can be fully understood.
  • What role does the location of the shop play in facilitating business? I suggest this as part of the statement of problem because I know where Great Dane is (having lived in Walter Gage previously). If the goal of this project is to increase the outreach of the shop, the out-of-the-way location should be addressed.

Proposed Solution

Without a clear understanding of relationship between business and social media, it is difficult to ascertain what a solution to the problem of inconsistent engagement could like it. Please review the prior sections before returning to this section. Edits for this section are bulleted below:

  • Outline in greater detail what greater consistency looks like. In the statement of problem section it was stated that part of the inconsistency was due to multiple people having control over the media account. Describe in this section how this project intends to deal with that issue in particular.
  • Go into further detail regarding the solutions proposed. The rate of posting, content, and quality of posts are important issues which the project addresses, but more detail is needed describing how each issue impacts the problem outlined.


The scope of the project is sufficient and many of the suggestions in this review fall within its scope. No further edits to the scope of the project are necessary.


The methodology for this project needs to be more concrete and should not be limited to only direct engagement with the social media account. A number of suggestions to alleviate this issue are listed below.

  • Find peer reviewed research regarding the relationship between social media and business/customer relations
    • What does consistent social media engagement produce for the businesses that engage in it?
  • Interview fellow employees & customers. Here are some sample questions:
    • Do employees notice increased foot traffic in the shop after posting?
    • How do employees and managers feel about the role of social media in business?
      • Do they think it’s effective?
      • How much time do employees invest into posting on social media?
    • How many customers actively follow the Great Dane Instagram?
      • How often do those customers frequent the shop?
  • Surveys. Questions that customers and/or employees can fill out which track engagement with social media
  • Participatory-Observation. This will be particularly easy since it was outlined in the qualifications section that you work at the shop. Taking notes of who comes to shop, how frequently, and during which times of the day, in conjunction with some of the other methods suggested, will produce far better results than just those methods on their own.


Your qualifications as an employee of the shop place you in the perfect position to conduct this project, and this is explained coherently. No suggested edits for this section.


Contrary to the conclusion presented it does not appear that this project will solely require minor adjustments, nor should it be framed as such.  Consider rewriting this conclusion in conjunction with the other suggestions made under this review.

Link to original work:

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