Hello Sydney,
Thank you for submitting this memorandum to Evan Crisp with best email practices for review, please see a list of suggested edits below.
Subject:
The addition of a subject line effectively identifies the purpose of a memo. Including details in the subject line can help the writer and the recipient stay organized.
Original: “Advice on Email Best Practices”
Revised: “Response to Evan Crisp’s Best Practices Email Request”
Writing Style:
This memo uses the you-attitude well, thus is concise, clear, and reader-centered. Avoiding ‘you’ and ‘your’ in the body will keep the reader from feeling targeted negatively.
Original: “Selecting an appropriately formal yet friendly sign-off such as “Best” or “Sincerely” followed by your full name will help to maintain the professional tone of your email”
Revised: “Selecting an appropriately formal yet friendly sign-off such as “Best” or “Sincerely,” followed by a full name, can help maintain a professional tone in any email.”
Grammar:
This memo flows well and there are no glaring grammatical errors. Well done, removing imperative verb in the memo’s body, and keeping the tone professional and constructive. Consistency can be achieved by including periods at the end of each bullet point.
Organization:
Structured bullet-points maintain organization and keep the memo concise, and easy to read.
Detail:
Well done empathizing with the reader, and accounting for human nature in line two of the introduction. Consider expressing how the advice will gain the desired response from the Professor, by expanding on the points identified.
Final Comments:
Your memo is clear, concise, and well written. I hope these suggested edits will help improve the memo. Please contact me at meerapatel049@gmail.com if you have any questions.
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