TO: Christina Hruby, ENGL 301 Student
FROM: Michaela Basciano, ENGL 301 Student, Reviewer
DATE: August 5th 2020
SUBJECT: Peer Review of Causal Analysis of Gathering in Common Areas at Clinique Parodontologie CTH
Thank you for submitting the draft of your formal report: Causal Analysis of Gathering in Common Areas at Clinique Parodontologie CTH. It was an informative read looking into the problems some services are facing due to the global pandemic. Strengths of the report include a strong insight to the issue, the execution of proper research with a detailed presentation of the data, great recommendations for a solution, and completeness of the assignment.
Adjusting the design of some figures, adjusting the draft’s layout, and making a few organizational fixes would nearly perfect the final draft. Please consider the following feedback during revision:
First Impressions:
The presented issue has been well researched with all key areas of investigation explained thoroughly. The report is very comprehensive while remaining easy to read. Recommendations appear to be beneficial to all involved and the author seems confident in their feasibility.
Organization:
- Both tables of contents are well divided and illustrated.
- There is a logical flow and transition between the various components of the report.
- Formatting of page numbering conforms to provided guidelines. However, some of the page numbers are not within the same margin. Ensuring the alignment of all page numbers will provide more neatness to the document.
- Adjusting the running head on the title page and adding all subsequent running heads into the header will produce a fully completed document layout.
- The running head on the title page should read “Running Head: CAUSAL ANALYSIS”, with subsequent pages having only “CAUSAL ANALYSIS”.
- Paragraph/subsection headings are easily legible and well-spaced.
Content:
- The report falls within the target page count.
- There are no sections missing. No overly large chunks of text.
- Detailed here are some highlights from the three main sections of the draft:
- Introduction:
- The Introduction is very direct and straight to the point. It provides important background detail to the issue and proposes a viable potential solution.
- Some of the information provided in the introduction would be better suited in the Abstract of this document; concluding findings of a study are not often presented in the introduction.
- A reference to your appendices/surveys within the methods description would be valuable.
- Data Section:
- Appropriate spacing is seen between figures and explanations.
- Expanding some explanations would be constructive. For example, Figure 4 could state “Proposed one-way travel cycle at ….”, to encompass more of what is explained prior to the graphic.
- Subheadings are clear.
- The bulleted list under “Sources of Congestion” is not properly introduced. It currently seems as if it could be discussed without bullets. Disassembling the list or introducing the list to clarify what is being discussed may improve readability in this section, especially because of the points being located after a graph.
- Conclusion:
- The conclusion is extremely detailed. Overall, well done.
- Summary of Findings:
- A detailed summary outlining problematic areas is provided.
- Some information outlined might be beneficial in the introduction in order to emphasize the issue (e.g. cancellation of appointments).
- Interpretation of Findings:
- Rewording the phrasing of the last sentence of this section might be advantageous in this section, making it a more digestible read. Consider rewording to, “The major sources of bottlenecking and excessive gathering at Parodontologie CTH are…”.
- Recommendations:
- Recommendations are succinct – they are strategically planned, achievable, and crucial to ensure everyone’s safety during this time.
- Summary of Findings:
- The conclusion is extremely detailed. Overall, well done.
- Introduction:
Visuals/Figures:
- Overall, the tables and figures are neat and clear, increasing the comprehensiveness of the data.
- The chosen colours are not uniform amongst all the given charts. Matching chart colour schemes will make the report more professional in nature.
- For example, the style of Figure 2 could be made similar to that of Figure 3 by choosing one uniform colour to present the data, as no legend is needed. Or, vice versa could be achieved by changing the background colour to transparent/white to match Figure 2.
References: Correct and complete referencing style was used. Excellent job.
Style/Tone:
- “You” attitude is properly employed throughout.
- Full elimination of personal pronouns.
- Report tone is hopeful and positive.
- Language is direct and to the point with no unnecessary or overly repetitive statements.
Grammar/Typos:
- Document is well edited for spelling and grammar errors.
- Maintaining consistency in how the coronavirus is referred to within this report is important in order to avoid confusion. For example, “Covid-19” is used the most throughout the document, including the abstract, but “SARS-CoV-2 virus” is used within the opening paragraph of the introduction shortly after. Changing this to “Covid-19” or adding a set of parentheses would be beneficial in making the distinction that they are the same.
Concluding Statements:
This report meticulously investigates how the global pandemic is affecting Clinique Parodontologie CTH and presents ways in which both its employees and patients can ensure the safety of one another. It deserves the attention of its intended audience and could also even be beneficial to other services in the area facing similar struggles. With the following suggestions, this report would be even greater. I have summed them up for your leisure below:
- Readjusting page number margins.
- Moving the running head to the appropriate location.
- Maintaining consistent referral language to COVID-19.
- Adjusting appearance of visuals to be more uniform.
- Moving some statements to the correct, or more appropriate, subheading.
- Adjusting the flow of bulleted lists and some larger statements.
- Expanding on visual explanations.
It was a pleasure to review this draft. I hope you find the discussed suggestions helpful in finalizing the document. Please let me know if you have any questions.
Thank you.
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