To: Cynthia Li, ENGL 301 Student
From: Joanna Yu, ENGL 301 Student
Date: August 9, 2020
Subject: Peer Review of Formal Report Draft
Hello Cynthia,
Your formal report draft, Studying and Increasing Information and Support Surrounding Homelessness in Communities such as The Calgary Drop-In & Rehab Centre (CDIRCS), has been reviewed. You have done an excellent job at analyzing and presenting information on strategies that can increase information and support surrounding homelessness. Below are overall impressions and comments for each section of your assignment.
Title Page and Table of Contents
The title page includes all necessary information and is easy to read. Formatting and indexing the table of contents can help readers quickly scan and identify each category of the report. The word “In” in the title of the report need not be capitalized.
Abstract
This section is not available. Completing this would provide prospective readers the opportunity to judge the relevance of the longer work of the project.
Introduction
Background Information & Statement of the Problem
This background section is articulate and clear. Since the Statement of the Problem is covered in subsection B, omitting the same description in subsection A would make this section more on point.
Statement of Problem
The Statement of the Problem subsection is very thorough. Including a clear problem statement would convey a more effective message from this section to the reader. Additionally, rephrasing the statements in a more positive way to describe what can be achieved by improving what type of support needed will allow the audience to see how they can benefit from this report.
Purpose of the Report
The statement of purpose is clear. Changing the word “The” in the heading of the subsection to lowercase will make the headings more consistent. Additionally, the last sentence of the paragraph can be improved by omitting some of the “and” which make it sound repetitive.
Methods and Scope
The Methods and Scope section is concise. For the first and second sentences, a suggestion would be to join them together, “An interview with Kala, part of the Public Relations & Media department, was conducted to ask important questions and clarify information.”.
Data section
Changes Implemented at the Centre in Response to COVID-19
This section provides clear information regarding the changes the centre has implemented with the use of bullet points. Changing the words “At” and “The” in the heading of the subsection to lowercase will make the headings more consistent.
Summary of Changes and Their Effectiveness
This section provides some great justifications for your report by stating the significance and effectiveness of the changes that were implemented by the centre. For the first sentence, omitting the word “unknown” and changing “it’s” to “its” would improve the flow of the sentence. “The sudden global pandemic has been challenging to adapt to, especially concerning the many unknowns brought by COVID-19 and its infection rate.”.
Consistency of Strategic Priorities & Challenges During COVID-19
The subsection clearly presents the strategic priorities and challenges during Covid-19 for the centre. For the first sentence, omitting “and continue to be” will still signify that the action has started in the past and still has some influence in the present and future. “Many operations in the centre have been altered to ensure the safety of clients and staff.”. Additionally, the last sentence of the final paragraph can be omitted as the title already implies the points mentioned are the main challenges and focus of the centre.
Survey Results
The survey results and graph are not visible in the word document while only the chart legends are in the PDF file. Completing these would help with the visual presentation of the report and convey important numbers in easy to understand visuals.
Conclusion
Analysis of Findings and Summary of Findings
Both these subsections were left blank. Completing these sections would help justify the recommendations in the following section.
Recommendations
The sequence of actions recommended are reasonable but cannot be confirmed if it follows the findings and summary sections of the report. Both social media and education are excellent ways to promote awareness. Further detailing the type of education that would help bring awareness to homelessness in communities would help make the report stronger and more coherent overall.
References
The references are all relevant, includes appropriate in-text citations and in proper MLA style. Using “Works Cited” instead of “References” would make the citations consistent with the MLA format.
Content
• Overall, the content of the report is clear and informative.
• Adding some information about the main audience of the report will help readers understand who the report is addressed to.
• The most informative part of the draft is the Data section. Not only does this section provide insight to reasons on regarding the changes the centre has implemented but also justifications involving the significance and effectiveness of the changes.
• The part of the draft needing more than a minor revision is the Conclusion section. Incorporating both an Analysis of Findings and Summary of Findings are important to validate the appropriateness of the recommendations to the reader.
• Additionally, discussing the possible challenges in implementing the recommendations or preferences of the survey participants will help convey a more realistic situation.
Organization
This draft has a clear organizational structure, with contents categorized under appropriate headings and subheadings. Indexing the table of contents can improve ease of scanning. Additionally, including an explanation on how all the individual findings tie together in the Analysis and Summary of Findings subsections can help make the report more persuasive to the reader.
Style
This report is objective, concise, uses a positive tone, and employs the You-attitude with a minor deviation. Taking out the I pronoun in the Introduction section, “I researched questions..” will help demonstrate a better You-attitude.
Design
Pie charts were used to illustrate different information. However, the pie charts were not visible in the word document while the chart in the PDF version were all in blue, which missed illustrating the different intended proportions of the data. Editing these would help make a stronger visual presentation regarding some of the data to the reader.
Overall Final Impressions:
Your formal report draft on the Studying and Increasing Information and Support Surrounding Homelessness in Communities such as The Calgary Drop-In & Rehab Centre (CDIRCS) is well thought out. Apart from minor grammatical errors, below are a few suggestions which can improve the effectiveness of the formal report:
• Explaining how all the individual findings tie together in a relevant way would help interpret the paper’s findings and make the report more coherent.
• Discussing the possible challenges in implementing the recommendations or preferences of the survey participants will help paint a more realistic picture of the situation to the reader.
• Omitting the “I” pronoun to better demonstrate a You-attitude perspective.
Thank you for your thorough and thoughtful assignment. If you have any questions, please email me at joannayu9710@gmailcom.
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