Peer Review for Cathy

Name of the Reviewer: Aran Chang

Author’s Name: Cathy Liu

Title of the Expanded Definition: Assignment 1-3 Definitions

Link to Cathy’s Definition

Three Questions:

1. Is deindividuation a form of mob mentality, and would it be a suitable synonym for the term?
2. Is deindividuation a concept (such as a study of a subject: Biology, psychology, geography, etc.) or a description of a behavior.
3. Can deindividuation occur in an online setting, such as commenting on a post anonymously online. Such actions reduce the responsibility of the individual, can be easily influenced by other members of the online community, and can result in serious and dangerous acts that lead to negative outcomes.

 

Initial Impressions

In general, the definition was solid, providing an adequate amount of examples to visualize and contextualize the definition. However, I found the definition lacking in various departments of the definition. The parenthetical definition showcased the brief description of the definition adequately, in the instance it was used. However, I found myself tripping over the definition in the sentence definition. It is confusing to see whether the term is a concept studied in psychology or a description of a behavior. For example, the rock cycle is a concept of the geomorphological processes that can explain the appearance of porous rock or obsidian. However, the rock cycle is a concept, and not a description of what a porous rock is. Likewise, I am curious whether deindividualization is a concept or a description. It would be beneficial to specify and clarify the nature of the definition so that the reader is able to more effectively understand the definition.

 

Comments about Purpose

The document not does stray from its intended purpose. The definitions and explanations do not veer onto tangents far from the initial subject and maintains a uniform purpose throughout the text.

 

Comments about Audience

In my third question, I stated that the definition lacks clarity in definition the definition of “group setting.” In this context, which a psychologist is providing an explanation to participant about their behavior, it would be the appropriate to describe as much as possible so that the individual does not misinterpret or over extrapolates the definition. Additionally, the overall document would have benefitted from a more solidified description of the situation. From my interpretation of the proposed situation, it is possible that a psychologist is in reference to an individual who practices in psychological therapy, colloquially often called a shrink. In this situation, it be more appropriate to provide the most accurate and detailed definition, as it would aid in the process of helping the individual. However, because the document uses the term “participant,” a psychologist could also refer to a researcher. In this case, the definition is not required to be lengthy or overly precise, as participants are less often to inquire, to an in-depth degree, about the experiment. Such cases often follow participants who sign up to studies as to fulfill a requirement or earn payment. As such, it is important to clarify the situation more precisely so that the purpose is more well-defined.

 

Briefly describe any changes you would suggest.

In the introduction (para. 1, sent. 1,2), it would be beneficial to specify the way in which your assignment is being assessed and the objective of your document. For example, you may state that the document intends to define the term deindividuation utilizing three methods of definition. Following, you would specify the criteria for the assessment such as clarity of text, effectiveness of examples, quality of sources, etc.

In the situation (para. 2, sent. 1), as I have described above, it would greatly benefit to rethink your situation more clearly, taking into account the words used to describe the situation. In the case of a practitioner of psychology, it would be more appropriate to describe the ‘participant’ as a patient or client. However, in the setting of a study, it would be beneficial to clarify that the psychologist is a researcher.

In the sentence definition (para. 4, sent. 1,2), it would be recommended to clarify whether the term is a concept, a description, or both. Such clarifications aid in the user, being more able to correctly and effectively understand and utilize the definition. In addition, in para. 4, sent. 1, it would be beneficial to clarify the definition of a group setting. As stated in question 3, is a group setting limited to only a physical situation, or can an online environment count towards a group setting? Depending how the study/experiment was carried out, it may be paramount to describe this fact.

 

 

Is there any use of jargon in the definition?

In para. 6, sent. 1, I am unable to interpret the definition of ‘heightened physiological arousal.’ For readers who are not familiar with psychology and its terms, it would be beneficial to clarify the definition of this within the document, as it may contain a different definition from the direct interpretation of the phrase.

 

Comments about Organization

The expansion methods used are history, required condition, example, and visual. Each expansion method provides appropriate, additional material, beneficial to the understanding of the definition, with the exception of the visual method. The sporadic placements of the flow lines in the flow chart leads to a less visually compelling expansion method. To improve this, the flower chart should be organized vertically, grouping boxes of the same tier together. For example, group presence leads to social arousal or physical anonymity. The boxes should be aligned beside each other to ensure a clearer visual. Aside from the visual expanded definition, the remaining sections of the definition performs its intended task with the exception of the introduction and situation. Issues and suggestions for these sections have been discussed in the “Briefly describe any changes you would suggest” section.

 

 

Overall Final Impressions

The overall document is solid, but lacks a firm introduction and situation. If the situation was more clearly defined, the following definition and expanded definitions would have been more precise, clear and effective. The most effective element is the history expanded definition, which explored the origin of the definition. The use of foregrounding provided sufficient information to effectively comprehend the definition clearer than the other methods of expansion.

 

Additional Comments

I greatly enjoyed the document as a whole, however, I found that it lacked a clear focus in the beginning. A majority of the issues listed would have been resolved if the initial situation was more clearly defined. Additionally, there is a lack of in-text citation. It is important to utilize in-text citation to assure that the information used is being appropriate acknowledged.