To: Geneviève Bolduc
From: Cody Gagnon
Date: June 10, 2020
Subject: Review of Unit 1:3 Assignment on Definitions
I have finished reading your proposal to produce a formal report on increasing resource availability in the Technical Interview Preparation (TIP) club. I think that improving the availability of a wide range of career resources to members of the TIP club is a great idea. Moreover, you seem well prepared for the task. I would like to offer a few suggestions. Please feel free to apply or disregard them as you see fit.
Audience: It may be worthwhile to explain the reputation or importance of FAANG companies. Although the audience of the formal report (members and leaders of the TIP club) will assuredly be familiar with FAANG, the prestige of these companies may be less familiar for the audience of the proposal (Professor Paterson).
Metaphorical Language: Metaphorical and/or figurative language is cultural and may confuse your reader, so I believe that it is best to avoid metaphors in business documents when possible. According to the Oxford English Dictionary, the verb, “tap,” means “to pierce (a vessel, tree, etc.) so as to draw off its liquid contents” (https://www.oed.com/view/Entry/197646?rskey=YttRb1&result=6&isAdvanced=false#eid). Instead of writing the phrase, “tapping into,” you might consider using more direct, literal language. Similarly, you may consider replacing the phrase, “jump into,” with more literal language. As this document is a proposal for a formal report, I believe that formal language is appropriate.
Formatting: According to MLA and APA guidelines, the titles of books should be italicized, so that readers can easily differentiate between book titles and the surrounding text. In addition, Glassdoor should be capitalized, because it is a proper noun.
Consistency: In the Introduction, you write a list including, “[…] analytical skills, coding skill, […].” Why is the first set of skills plural while the second set of skills is singular? In my opinion, I think that they should be both plural or both singular.
Commas: I recommend using the Oxford comma, because it helps to avoid ambiguity. However, I admit that its use is a stylistic choice. The Oxford English Dictionary defines the Oxford Comma as “a comma immediately preceding the conjunction in a list of items” (https://www.oed.com/view/Entry/135568?redirectedFrom=oxford+comma#eid32306909). I think that the below meme is a good illustration of how the Oxford comma helps to avoid ambiguity.
You could use the Oxford comma in the following sentences:
- “[…] analytical skills, coding skill, technical knowledge, experience and culture fit.”
- “[…] interviewing resources, company websites and industry professionals.”
In addition, I believe that the comma is unnecessary in the following sentence: “I am a fourth-year computer science student, nearing graduation as well as one of the organizers for the TIP club.” However, the sentence may read more clearly if a comma were added before the words, “as well as.” With that said, I might rewrite the sentence as “I am a fourth-year computer science student nearing graduation and I am an organizer for the TIP club.”
Word Choice: I think that your use of the word “unbalanced” is ambiguous in the following sentence: “Otherwise, it is likely that student and recent alumni jump into interviews with unbalanced skillsets and perform poorly in some aspects.” In this context, the word, “unbalanced,” could be interpreted to mean an imbalance between the skills of students and recent alumni. You might clarify the meaning of this sentence by choosing a different word or words. Similarly, in your Proposed Solution, I am unsure what is meant by a “unified” document. Perhaps you mean a comprehensive document? Also, in the Scope section of your proposal, I think that the use of “tenets” may be redundant or inappropriate. The Oxford English Dictionary defines “tenet” as “a doctrine, dogma, principle, or opinion, in religion, philosophy, politics, or the like, held by a school, sect, party, or person” (https://www.oed.com/view/Entry/199125?redirectedFrom=tenets#eid). Given this definition, it may be at odds with the sentence in which it is used.
Content: In addition to the skills tested in interviews that you have listed, you might consider adding resources to help TIP club members with answering behavioural and situational questions. Although these types of questions are often non-technical, I believe that they are still an important consideration in preparing for interviews in our industry.
I think that your proposal is a great idea and I look forward to reading it! If the TIP club accepts your recommendations, I may even look into becoming a member myself.
Geneviève Bolduc’s Formal Report Proposal: https://blogs.ubc.ca/engl301-98a-2020sa/2020/06/18/formal-report-proposal/
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