2:2 LinkedIn Peer Review for Sydney Storie —Jie Su

To: Sydney Storie, Student of ENGL 301
From: Jie Su, Student of ENGL 301
Date: July 7, 2020
Subject: Peer Review for Sydney Storie’s Linkedin Profile with a headline “Pharmacy Assistant at Boundary Pharmacy”
LinkedIn URL: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sydney-storie-9198a0158/

Hi Sydney! Your profile page is comprehensive and completed. The content is carefully listed with emphasis, and the layout is clear. Please see the suggestions below:

First Impression

Your profile page is well-organized. Many sections of your profile page are all about your career goal related to animal welfare, such as your summary statement and your skills sections, which is excellent for the recruiter to know your specific interest and the job position you would like to achieve.

Profile Photo

The picture you uploaded looks very clear, friendly and professional, and the portrait ratio to the size of the photo is also very appropriate.

Headline

Making good use of your headlines is to show your main job right now, which is good for the recruiter to find you by using the job title to search. The selected headline keyword is great, but it is a bit inconsistent with the summary.

Your summary mainly talking about the interests and skills in animal welfare is not 100% consistent with your headline’s job title, which may lead to the result that the recruiter is not able to know precisely about your career goals and needs. My suggestion is to use a headline like “Past Veterinary Assistant at Clinica Veterinaria Prevence, looking for jobs related to animal welfare” to show a clear indication of your professional needs.

Summary

Your summary is highly detailed and narrative. A brief combination of your past learning experience, personal hobbies, and certificates indicates a firm overview of your love for animal welfare and animal care. It gives readers a detailed understanding of your personality and interests. Also, you use first-person narration to make it more personable. These are all great parts. However, trimming paragraphs to make it more extracted and itemizing your skills with certificates will make your summary more attractive.

Work Experience

Each job is displayed according to the chronological order, and you accurately describe your job responsibilities and roles in the workplace. You are putting Pharmacy Assistant, the longest-working job, at the top, which is in line with your career plan. However, it can be further improved with the following changes:
• • Working as a pharmacist is the most important one of all your jobs because it is the longest one. Adding some specific job responsibilities like what has been done and what has been achieved will make it more enriched. Moreover, it is better to display them in the form of bullet points to make it more organized. Also, indicating specific achievements using quantitative outcome points will make your job ability more visible and highlighted.
  • Some of the work has a declarative description, but some do not. I suggest having all the work experience described in a consistent format.
  • An experience among your job experiences is relevant to your target career, but because the location is at the back and is not so conspicuous, it will be more difficult for recruiters to find it. An alternative is to put it in the second place by eliminating some other jobs that are not that related to your career goal.

Volunteer Experience

There is no volunteer experience section in your profile. Including one of your work experiences “Volunteering as an English Teacher” in the volunteer section has two advantages. One is that having a volunteer experience enriches and completes your profile page. The other one is that it can eliminate some of your work experience to leave space for those more related to your career goals. Adding volunteer experience will also show your comprehensive and helpful personality.

Skills

Your skills have two excellent points. First, skills are listed with several related keyword skills, including the right combination of soft skills and technical skills. At the same time, you add skills that are very relevant to your career planning, such as animal care, animal welfare. Second, you include language skills as well to show your language ability in Portuguese. My suggestions are:
• • Asking your network to give some recognition to your skills will make your profile stand out.
  • Indicating your language with the proficiency level will give readers an insight into your language mastery.

Overall Comments

Your overall profile focus on your career plan and highlights your abilities. Your summary is detailed in describing your experience and your skills. By displaying the certificates, you had given a great start when readers are reading your profile page. Points can be improved below:
• • Customization of URL will make your profile page link easier to remember and key in .
  • Improving each of your work experience to have a descriptive statement will achieve consistency.
  • Adding specific work content to the work experiences with quantitative outcomes will highlight your abilities and skills.
  • Avoid large block of information but use bullet points to itemize.

Thanks Sydney for making a great Linkedin profile example.

URL of Sydney Storie’s Linkedin Profile
ENGL 301 Linkedin Peer Review Template by Jie Su