Application Package Peer Review for Max Foran

TO: Max Foran, ENGL 301 Student

FROM: Michaela Basciano, ENGL 301 Student, Reviewer

DATE: August 15th, 2020

SUBJECT: Peer Review of Application Package

Dear Max,

I hope this email finds you in good time to finish up this course’s final deliverables. Thank you for submitting the application package directed at CIBC. Strengths of this document include a good organization of the required pieces, the highlighting of valuable skills towards the position, and a professional tone throughout. Improving each deliverable’s organizational layout, attention to all assignment requirements, and adding in some finishing touches to some of the documents would be beneficial in the finalization of this application package. Please consider the following feedback during revision:

First Impressions: The package is mostly well developed. Relevant, valuable skills are highlighted throughout the document. The reader has a substantial feel for the applicant’s experiences in the field of which they are applying.


  • Each document is presented on its own page and it is clear which one each is.
  • All addresses, dates, and contact information are present and expressed in the appropriate place and way.
  • Overall, well done.


  • Job Advertisement
    • Suitable posting selected. Good match to applicant considering current employment.
    • MLA citation of the description is missing as per assignment requirements. Please be sure to include it in your final draft, perhaps on the advertisement’s final page under “Weekly Hours”.
  • Resume
    • Overall Organization – Consider spacing out the subheadings for an easier read.
    • Skills – Skills are clearly listed and relevant to the position.
    • Education
      • Education specialization is clearly stated
      • Including the graduating month and year is beneficial to the hiring manager in order to know when you are able and ready to begin work.
      • Including the institution will assist in verifying your education.
      • Ask whether the CSC course and CFA Candidacy is appropriate under this heading, or whether it needs its own subheading heading, as neither relate to the philosophy major.
    • Work Experience:
      • Position listings are clear with precise locations and dates listed.
      • Brief but accurate descriptions allow for a quick read but adding some bullet points and including more line spacing may provide an easier read.
      • Be sure not to leave any job experiences without descriptions, even if extremely similar.
    • Missing Elements:
      • Objective
      • References / “References upon request”.
    • Application Letter
      • Layout is appropriate; however, the following may be beneficial in improving the document to make it look more professional:
        • Reformatting your contact information to match that of the recipient.
        • Spacing out the letter so that it is more than just one paragraph. The textbook provides great guidelines for creating sections of different talking points within an application letter. Right now, it seems fairly casual in comparison to its intent.
      • Adding a personal “contact me” statement towards the end of your letter adds a friendly tone and shows openness to the hiring process.
      • Including your written signature is encouraged to wrap up the document and add personalization.
      • Finalizing your signature block with a noted position, such as “CIBC Administrative Assistant, Wood Gundy – Bay – Adelaide”, will demonstrate familiarity with the organization.
    • Reference Letters
      • Reference letters are well organized. All required components are present.
      • Similar to the application letter, including your written signature is encouraged to add personalization.
      • Letters are direct, concise, and both professional and friendly.
      • Ensure that there is uniformity between the documents. For example, Eileen and Peter have the same address but are stated differently.
      • Adding some type of “thank you” statement would be appropriate, as the recipient would be providing a favour – be sure to express gratefulness.


  • The tone throughout all documents is both friendly and professional.
  • Adjusting the casualness of the application letter, as mentioned earlier, will improve the tone even more.
  • Personal pronouns were used in the correct way in the appropriate spots.


There are some areas in which the grammar could be improved within this document.

  • The resume demonstrates conflicting tenses of opening words. For example, under “Sales” the past tense is used (consulted, contacted, analyzed), whereas under “Computer Skills” all the points are listed in the present tense. Ensure that these are uniform.
  • When composing your citation, ensure that the format is MLA and that the appropriate punctuation and stylization is present.

Concluding Comments: The application package is an important document that requires attention to detail. You have made an impressive start, paying attention to highlighting your best assets and providing relative information. With the following adjustments and those previously discussed, the application package will be even stronger:

  • Including written signatures to your documents.
  • Including the MLA citation for the job advertisement.
  • Adjusting the formatting and spacing of various components of the documents.
  • Adding finite details to the resume (e.g. school institution, references) to be more precise.
  • Adjusting grammar tenses within the resume.
  • Adjusting casual tone in areas such as the application letter.

It was a pleasure reviewing this document. I hope the suggestions are helpful in completing the assignment. Please let me know if you have any questions or comments.

Thank you.

Max Foran 301-Application-Package

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