Peer Review – Application Package for Kathryn Simone

To: Kathryn Simone, UBC ENGL 301 Student
From: Alison Ma, UBC ENGL 301 Student
Date: Aug 14, 2020
Subject: Application Package Rough Draft Peer Review

I hope this email finds you well. Thank you for submitting the application package, it was well edited with many of your skills and achievements highlighted. Your resume is very eye-catching and easy to read. Most of your skills are well highlighted on your resume and cover letter. Some areas of improvement include reserving appropriate white space and spacing to improve professionalism and comfort for readers to read, and clarifying specific words to let the reader understand your request. I have given some feedback, please check below:

First Impression
The whole application package is very neat and professional. The list of experience and technical skills makes a strong impression that the candidate endorses a lot of abilities that the company is looking for.

• Each document is correctly arranged.
• Sections are correctly labelled

1. Job Advertisement
• MLA referencing is correctly included
• The job advertisement is well selected to match the candidate’s ability

2. Resume
o Name and expertise are easy to spot
o Nice use of icons to differentiate contact information

Technical Skills:
o A vast list of skills is mentioned highlighting candidate’s experience and knowledge
o Ranking the required skills mentioned in the job ad would help employers identify candidate’s ability more quickly and accurately

Work Experience
o Excellent list of past work experience
o Cutting some sentences and
o Removing repeated action verbs could avoid redundancy and demonstrates candidate’s further ability
Planned and implemented deliverables for global clients; Implemented close cross-team collaboration
Designed deliverables for global clients; Implemented close cross-team collaboration
o Including keywords like leadership and troubleshoot from the job advertisement requirements could notify employers of the candidate’s attention to details and potential ability to master the position

Personal Projects
o Excellent personal project example to highlight candidate’s interest and ability
o Removing Technologies Used could avoid redundancy on the resume
o Putting more weight to highlight the design process could make candidate’s work and ability stand out.
o Rephrasing the problems intended to help stand out the argument
Example: Implemented new navigation

o Accomplishments and activities done in the degree are impressively mentioned
o Impressive achievement in the Bachelor of Arts degree

• Missing sections: objectives, reference

3. Cover Letter
• Starting the letter with a referral from one of the current workers in the company helps the employer to identify candidate’s potential achievement in the company
• Comfortable flow of expressing interest to the company first then highlighting personal skills from past experience
• Interpret some key responsibilities from the job ad could persuade the employer about candidate’s ability to handle the major tasks in this advertised position
o Using the same words from the job ads could be more convincing
“I have created several personal projects, including a dog walking matching service in Lightning Web Components and Apex and a React app that keeps track of students’ Computer Science degree progression.”
“I have implemented a dog walking matching service with new functionality in Lightning Web Components and Apex. I have also designed a React app to enhance current CS student’s course registration experience.”

• Aligning the design with the resume helps employer recognize candidate’s application as well as improves professionalism

4. Reference Letters Request
• Enclosed important documents in the letter, such as resume and cover letter to keep the referee up to date the candidate’s latest achievement outside school
• Included a deadline for the referee
• Avoiding passiveness in the letter makes the reader more confident with the candidate’s ability
“Although you were the technical architect and mentored my skills in technical and developmental design, many of the skills are directly transferable. All of the time, project management, and code standardization that I was taught will directly benefit me at the job I am applying for.”
“Project management and code standardization that I have learnt from your mentorship are some of the great transferable skills that I could apply in the position I am applying.”

• Clarifying some of the keywords could make the reader understand what kind of skills to highlight for the candidate
o Third reference letter request
Original: “All of the people skills…”
Revision: “Interpersonal and communication skills are some of the greatest assets that I have demonstrated in this project.”

• Highlighting skills learnt could refresh the reader about the candidate’s achievement
o Nice highlight in the second and third letter! Including skills in the first letter could align the documents and help the reader writing the reference letter

Visual/ Design
• Resume is clear with an outstanding selection of colours, font and icons
• Most of the documents reserved appropriate spacing and white space for professionalism
• Second and third letter to request for reference letter – reserving adequate white space like the other documents makes the reader more comfortable to read

• Tone is professional and respectful
• Using positive dictions could make the reader more comfortable with the candidate’s request
o Avoid using prepositions like “although” lifts the overall professionalism

Grammar/ Typos
• All of the documents are well edited with no grammatical mistakes. Well done!

Concluding Statement
All in all, this application package is well-edited with impressive achievement and experience. The applicant has demonstrated outstanding accomplishments that are pertinent to the job advertisement. With the following adjustments, the application would be even stronger:
• Including objective and reference on the resume
• Using the same action verbs with the job advertisement on your resume and cover letter
• Elaborating further some words for clarity
• Reserving appropriate white space and spacing for professionalism

It was a pleasure reading your application package. I hope the feedback is helpful with your revision. If there is any question, please contact me at my email

Thank you.

301 Kathryn Simone Application Package

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